Candy Porn Game for Halloween

Dear Sillies,

Tricks or treats? 

The choice is yours. I advise you to choose both, with an extra helping of whatchamacallit.

Happy and safe Halloween!

Halloween Erotica and Martha Stewart

Dear Sillies,
It's that time.
Enjoy all things sweet and naughty!

October, Barbie, Bloggy Meetup, and Rosh Hashanah

Dear Sillies,

Happy October!

I adventured a bit further north toward Oregon this past weekend. 

Can you guess the name of this fabulous milkshake I ravaged? It's called "Barbie." Oh emm gee! As yummy as it is pinkified. It's from Yaks in Mount Shasta.

 I also elated in the privilege of another face-to-face bloggy meetup. Toni and I met at the fabulous blog of the fabulous Debra She Who Seeks. We live just an hour from each other and I'd planned on stopping in her hometown, so a Starbucks date it was. She's a fun and interesting dear heart. We had a great meetup. Yay for that!  

Northern northern Cali is beautiful, my Sillies. Siskiyou County, Trinity County, Shasta County. I thoroughly basked in it -- a little hiking, a lot of inhaling of fresh pine air, and the perfect ambiance for quiet contemplation.

When nature calls, lean into it, my friends.

One more note, Happy Rosh Hashanah, year 5785, to the Jewish people! Our New Year begins this eve. 

Much love and well wishes, friends. 

Seize the Day, The Frumpy Grumpy Felon

Hi Sillies,
I HAD to do this. Guess that's all I'll say about the following rap. Also, forgive a few errors; it's rough ("reign" not "rein", for example).  
Please feel well and hopeful in spite of it all.
Love you.

Happy September, Comment Collage starring YOU!

Well welcome, September. Please go easy on us. Thank you.

My Sillies, may Labor Day be, or have been, restful and grateful. Having yelled fiercely while holding a strike sign along a major CA freeway, having regularly published and distributed a chapter newsletter for SEIU Local 535, and having scolded the then CEO because "I don't appreciate being interrupted" during contract negotiations, I'm strongly pro workers' rights. Great respect for those who sacrificed their well-being and lives to bring about safer, fairer, more respectful working conditions. 

On an entirely different note, my Sillies, enjoy some random humor. This comment collage consists of YOUR comments to my last handful-ish of posts, woven together with silliness - a cup of hot chocolate on the side. 

Birgit said I bet Hancock had big hands and knew how to use them. I just realized something....if you lived in Florida, your blog would be banned....hahahaaa. They all have small hands. Al Penwasser said Yikes!

Elizabeth Seckman said I used to tease a few of them, but that was just me being a rotten teen. Moving with Mitchell said I know this story will end well, but what a start! Debra She Who Seeks said I see Martha Stewart has cropped up again! Did you see her and Snoop Dogg at the Paris Olympics equestrian events? They looked very posh together.

Joanne said Dang, even Cowboy Carter is being schooled by you. Giddyap! Sandy said Holly cow gurl. At least they didn't ask you to finish mopping the floor. Debbie D.  said Nah - I like Italians! Mistress Maddie said But I do know you had a good time! It's you! And I read about it in the papers. Damn paparazzi. Toni said Wonderful memories but who knew we were living innuendoes!!! Pat Hatt said Well that sucks. 

Debra She Who Seeks said Oooooooo, John Hancock, is that a feather quill pen in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Well, not me, but Robyn?

Debbie D.  said A cliffhanger! Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Jeff said I have no idea, but I love beets and can't imagine a beet latte.

Joanne said Any lumberjacks fell anything in your direction? Moving with Mitchell said Good idea. I’ve shared mine often. Janie Junebug said How wonderful! I'm jealous. Elephant's Child said Kindness is SUCH a powerful force. Mike said WOW!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said Will lightning strike me for just reading that?

Too late, Alex! Way too late!

Back to School with TeachErotica!

Dear Sillies,

My 8th grade History Teacher Mr. Kalan was oh so dreamy. I loved his Western wear (tight blue jeans, cowboy boots, and a handsome clean cut mustache). So, Mr. Kalan, this one's for you in gratitude for so effortlessly making me love History for one and only one year of my life.

How about you? Did you have a teacher crush? Do tell!

No Inn At The Inn, part 2

Dear Sillies, 

See last post before you read this one. Here we go:

Katie zips back towards me, as Hugh strolls behind. "There's one overflow room, so not the best," she reports, "but it's available at the Tar---. Come on, we'll take you there in my car." 

I'm at their mercy, still in shock. Silent prayer ensues. May the room have a toilet. And a bed. 

Hugh grabs my suitcase. "I'll take this for you." 

I follow them out to a dark blue, oldish Honda, packed with clothes and miscellany. Hugh sits in the back, leaving the front passenger's seat for me. A true gentleman. 

"Forgive the mess," Katie says. "I just moved here from Edmonton. It's a new job. Hugh actually works at the Tarmigan." I'd learn that this hotel, named after a bird, begins with a silent "p." Who knew there's such thing as the silent 'p'? Ptarmigan. 

Within minutes, we're at an upscale hotel on the main strip. Wow. 

"She's taking the overflow room for three nights," Katie tells Tony at the front desk. Hugh and I stand on either side of her.  

"Yes," I chime in. "I'll take it!" Desperate. So long as there's a toilet. And a bed.

Tony does calculations. Very stoically, he says, "That will be one thousand..." I don't hear the rest. Despite my jaw having dropped to the floor, and my heart remaining in a different time zone, I manage to retrieve my wallet.  

"Put that away," Katie insists, gently touching my hand. She turns to Hugh. Maybe they'll pull more strings for me. But no, Hugh pays the bill before I can do anything to stop him. The.whole.bill!

Katie hunches over to tell me, softly, "He said this is your Birthday weekend and he feels bad. He wants to pay for your stay."

"What? NO. That's far too much." More tears. "Now you're making me cry again!"

Hugh simply says, "No more tears." 

"Just enjoy the New Zealand kindness," Katie emphasizes, "and all the fun stuff there is to do. He's a handsome bartender." She strokes his cheek lovingly. "He'll be fine."

----------------------------

My Sillies, you wonder about this "overflow" room? Two comfortable beds! Full bathroom with toilet plus a bathtub! I'm a bather. Perfect, except the coffee maker doesn't work. Thankfully, I'm no coffee drinker. No complaints whatsoever. I didn't have to sleep under a tree. 

I'm forever transformed by the knowing that magnanimously loving, protective forces pervade this great Earth. They're with me (and you too). What better outcome could've ensued from finding out there's no inn at the inn?

Endnotes:

• What used to be the inn now serves as seasonal housing for Banff staffers. The former owner was negligent about tying loose ends. Don't worry, I've made a fuss to assure that it won't happen again. 
• Another seemingly coincidental nuance is that the building manager had not fixed the front door lock. I wouldn't have been able to wander in were that the case. 
• I repaid Hugh in full over the next two days. At that time, the US dollar was approximately 70% of the CAD. I'd forgotten this. Price was more reasonable than I thought.
• When this happens in the US, no problem. You find a nearby hotel. Canada follows strict laws to prohibit urban sprawl, though. People sometimes book years in advance for Banff. There's thus not enough lodging generally, especially not the second summer weekend. Yet I got a great room in one of the best hotels for three nights in peak season.  
• The rest of my trip went fabulously well, including a heavenly spa treatment and a divine Birthday dinner. 

Travel Story: No Inn At The Inn

Dear Sillies,

Last month's adventures to Canada granted many a story. This one, the most shocking and transformative.

Please enjoy.

Also and most importantly, please be and stay safe.

Lake Moraine in the Canadian Rockies - Alberta, Canada. 

I elated in every aspect of my journey, from the cute Aussie I sat next to on my flight to Vancouver; exotic Native American artifacts at that airport; Calgary's comfy, hip hotel I'd selected; a grand time with Debra She Who Seeks... 

--------------------------------------

Finally, charged by the thrill of arriving in Banff, my ultimate destination, I lugged my small but bulky suitcase up two steps to the door of Serenity Inn. They'd house me for my 3-night stay. Strangely, no sign marked the Inn, but I'd received a confirmation email just two weeks earlier. Confirmation is confirmation. Right? 

A young woman mops the floors in the kitchen to my left, as I enter. 

"Hi. Can you tell me where to check in?"

She pauses and instructs: "You need to go to the office for hotel staff."

I'm confused. 

"You need to leave!" A different female, who I don't yet see, commands. "We live here."

~My heart departs my body at some point around now.~

I look up the stairwell directly in view, as a young couple stands near its midpoint to stare down at me. She shouts again, "This isn't lodging. You need to leave!"

I push my way further into the space. "Wait. You need to know that they're using your address to steal hundreds of dollars from people." 

She descends the stairs and takes in my teary-eyed angst.  

"Go ahead and sit down. " She points at a musty, mauve couch. I'll get you some water. I'm Katie."  

"We've had this happen before," Katie tells me, as she hands me a cup of water. "That man got really mad. There was some confusion when they sold the place, but I thought that was resolved. Anyway, I work in reservations. Lemme make a phone call."

"Thanks Katie. I'm Robyn, by the way."

Katie nods then disappears.

The young man sits by me on the couch. His presence, consoling. He introduces himself and reassures me. There's an extra bed in the basement "if worse comes to worst."

"Thank you, Hugh. I know it's peak season, so I don't expect any vacancies. As nice as it is here, I'd rather not sleep under a tree." He imparts a half-grin. (Frankly, a basement bed doesn't appeal either, but at least I'd be safe.)

I tell Hugh about my Canadian ancestry, Birthday excursion, homebase in Chico, California. He's from New Zealand, I learn, and met Katie on-line.  

A few long seconds later, Hugh excuses himself, seemingly to check in with Katie...

to be continued.

She Who Seeks Meets Life by Chocolate and vice versa: Lucky Me!

Dear Sillies,

You guessed it. Well, Mike did!

I had the honor of meeting Canadian Goddess (oh don't argue with me, HRH!), Debra She Who Seeks. 

So much joy! We had a great time chatting away face to face - in  Calgary, Alberta Canada. 

If you ever get a chance to meet up with another bloggy, I highly recommend it. There's nothing like in-person interactions.

Oh Canada, How I Love and Miss You So! Alex and Pat are almost winners!

Dear Sillies,

WINNERS or ALMOST WINNERS are Alex J. Cavanaugh and Pat Hatt! These blogland stars narrowed things down to Canada and in particular, its Western side. Yes. 

Now, where specifically did Robyn go? There are two airport cities in neighboring provinces, one for my connecting flight. 

Canadian airport city of ---------.

I then flew to another airport city, -------, one province away.

Weather was spectacularly sunny and cloudy with refreshingly light rains. 

Here I met face to face with a fun and witty bloggy. To be revealed.

Third, I flew to my ultimate destination.

I'm here in the area of my ultimate destination. On a tour bus to this famous Lake (Psst "Canadian famous" isn't worldly famous, so you might not have heard of it), the bus driver pointed out Mount Edith on Mom's BDay. I've since pieced together that my dearly departed Mom, Edith Stern Engel, was named after this same Edith. Hugely exciting to learn this. Edith Cavell, heroic nurse, and my beloved Mommy share a brave, saintly, angelic spirit.

Mom's from this province. Her BDay is one day before mine. I connected many dots during and since this wonderful venture.

Okay, I've given too many clues. What Canadian provinces did I bounce around? What Canadian cities did I visit? Where was my ultimate destination, and...which bloggy did I get to spend time with? Drumroll please...

Where in the World Did Robyn Go?

Dear Sillies,

Let's play a game. I'll drop clues. Guess where I travelled to from June 22 to July 1. Name the one or two cities I visited and the country. If you already know, as a few of you do, kindly toss out a fake guess to help throw off the others. Thank you.

Hint 1: I spent approximately 8 hours total (round trip) in the air. 

Hint 2: I met with a bloggy who drove approximately 5 hours round trip to visit with me. Photo proof shall be revealed in an upcoming post.

Hint 3, 4, and 5: 

View from a tea house after I enjoyed a yummy quinoa veggie bowl. 

Beet latte, because it's pretty and on the menu at a trendy little coffee shop. 

Looking out (at beautiful scenery) while travelling via tour bus to two very well photographed natural attractions. 

Cockamamie: John Hancock Erotica

Dear Sillies,

Oh, I have so much to tell and show you. Just returned from a vacation, and got the privilege of meeting another bloggy IN PERSON!

While away, in hotel room #276, I finished this one. It's time to salute John Hancock. 

Wherever you live, may you experience gratitude for your many freedoms. Enjoy. 

Baby Face, Joy

Dear Sillies,

Apparently, unsurprisingly, I was quite a challenging little bundle at birth...Only 5 pounds, 8 ounces, yet quite feisty, collicky, and unhappy about the prospect of sleeping for any length of time.

Infant FOMO (fear of missing out), a parent's worst nightmare. 

But this joyfully chubby cherubic teasing teething baby face, oh, she brings me joy when I'm in need.

Best yet, it's my own face. 

 Do you have a cherished baby picture or two? Let's splatter blogland with our loving little faces, shall we?!

Moses Erotica!

Dearest Sillies,

How are you, friends? Be of good cheer, please.

I've been working  on this one for approximately 40 years, or so it seems. My heart breaks for Israel and the people, ALL of them, in that region, so this admittedly took more time than most of my poems. (Emotions both create and stall the art production process, right?) Otherwise, I'm enjoying life and singledom and all. Chocolate keeps me going. Plus occasional fantasies about Yul Brynner and...Moses.

Enjoy!

Wait, She Who Seeks, HRH got a great spot in this one too! How'd she do that?

I hope you can read the above. Will try for better next time, but this one is very looong. (She said "long." Yes she did.)

May Pole Erotica

My Dear Sillies,

It's May. You know that, and I hope you know that I always wish you well.

Will let this one express the rest. 

Wait, how did HRH get into my collage, She Who Seeks? 

Passover and a Chocolateria

Dear Sillies,

A very blessed Passover to all who celebrate. It's a time to experience gratitude for our countless freedoms, while we renew our mission - to bring peace to the world. 

I'll honor Passover at a seder (service and meal) this upcoming weekend.

As for this past weekend, I ventured on a solo trip to an old mining town, Grass Valley. It's quaint and beautiful and friendly. A refreshing getaway. 

Okay. I'd "make local habit" at this Chocolateria. Sorry I don't have pictures of my treat, it disappeared too quickly.

Tulips abound. I captured these on someone's front yard. 

Peace to you and the world, my friends.

Keep yourself privy to love, light and chocolate at all times.

When I Met Ray Bolger, the Wonderful Scarecrow of All Time

Dear Sillies, 

Growing up in Los Angeles meant an occasional up-close-and-personal encounter with a celebrity. Among the most famous of them, one of the most talented humans to ever grace planet earth, Ray Bolger, best known for his role as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. 

Taking you back to Universal Studios Amusement Park near Hollywood circa 1980, my family, along with our neighbors (close friends), sat in an outdoor theatre to await a stunt show. Gossipy whispers worked their way through the audience. Folks turned their heads to gawk at a certain couple. Dad, quite sharp regarding popular culture (and all else), pointed out Ray Bolger who sat with his wife a few rows back from us. 

People were polite then. Me, not so much. With camera in hand, I got up nice and close to snap the second photo below of Ray Bolger's joyous profile. So glad I did! 

Sadly, Ray would pass from bladder cancer approximately seven years later. But what a life. What a legacy. When asked whether he received residuals from the show, Ray said "no" but he was thrilled to settle for "immortality" instead. 

The first photo was after the show, when we asked if we could take a picture. Ray was incredibly accommodating. I remember feeling touched by his generosity. 

Coincidentally, one of my (very smart) clients mentioned today that The Wizard of Oz came out in 1939. It's the 85th Anniversary year. I'd already planned to post this today. 

WOOHOO, I was touched by the Scarecrow. 

How lucky I am! (Also, I had a brain enough to hold onto these photos for decades. Yay!)

Springtime Erotica: Sacrilegious Sacrament

Dear Sillies,

Spring hath sprung! Yippee!

In these days of media fraud via AI trickery, please don't question my sincerity. I did all of the cutting and pasting myself. And I did it for you. Sincerely. 

Happy Spring, sweet Sillies.

P.S. You can read this more clearly if you click on the poem. Not sure why it has a cloud factor. Maybe because the artist's brain has said factor.

Bonus points to anyone who can name the man whose face is in the top right corner.

Saint PatErotica, Irish Stew

Dear Sillies,
May we all get lucky in one or many different ways this weekend and week and forever after. 
I love you.
Happy Saint Patty's!

What a Feeling, 1 Million Views Thanks to You!

Hold On For One More Day! March is Here

My Dearest Sillies,
  I hope that you're as glad as I am that Spring shall soon spring forth. 
  As I tiptoe quickly to ONE MILLION views - gasp!- another huge milestone is here. March 5 marks 15 years since I birthed Life by Chocolate. What a fantastical ride it's been!
  In those early days, I used to create posts by weaving personal narrative with song lyrics. We're giving this strategy another go now. 
  The song, Hold On by Wilson Phillips, has lifted my spirits at dark moments over these past few weeks. May it offer you the same. 
  Please enjoy and hold on, with love for yourself and chocolate on the side.

*HOLD ON*

I know this pain

Confusion, rage, despair. Another damn breakup.

Why do you lock yourself up in these chains? 

Our laughter and playfulness kept me in bliss. 

No one can change your life except for you

We'd grow old and crotchety together. 

Don't ever let anyone step all over you

Somehow my love's sudden rudeness didn't cause pause.

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

He'd checked out. He gave up on me, on us. 

Someday, somebody's gonna make you wanna

Me? Not at all. Six months later now, I still feel love for him.

Turn around and say "goodbye"

I had no say.

Until then, baby, are you gonna let them

"You're a coward," I said, for making me do the breaking-up that he wanted for reasons that he refused to express.

Hold you down and make you cry?

At sunrise the next morning, I returned his spare house key and clumpy flattened air mattress. Done. 

Don't you know?

But weeks later, I came upon his Scrabble game board. Damn. One more thing to return.

Don't you know things can change?

We played over 100 Scrabble games in those nearly 2.5 years together. 

Things'll go your way

I won nearly every round. Still, I celebrated his winnings more than mine. "Yippee! My baby won!" I jumped and shouted, engaging in silly improvisational dance maneuvers after drowning him in hugs and kisses. 

Can you hold on for one more day?

The message "You win" struck when I carried his game to my car.

Hold on for one more day

I left it on his front porch, then drove to work.  Done now. It's over.

You could sustain...

I'll be okay. 

Things'll go your way

Pain will come and go, while it generally softens over time.

If you hold on for one more day

I miss him sometimes, like now.

If you hold on

Worlds upon worlds have opened to confer gold glittery magic. Were I still in his/our world, I'd not have entered any of the others. 

Can you hold on?

I'm sure of it. I win. 

Hold on, baby.

I'm a winner.

Mike's a Winner! Valentine's Erotica

Dear Sillies,

Congratulations to Mike for his winning haiku at Life by Chocolate's Annual VDay Hate Fest! WOOHOO! See last post for his clever entry.  I'll be in touch with you, horny old goat* (credit to DebraSheWhoSeeks for this term). You'll soon receive a sweet, sweet package in the mail. 

Joanne's a winner too! She always is. Plus she followed the rules for haiku. 

It wasn't an easy vote. For some reason, though, it seemed my male bloggies were fast to give a nod to Mike's mathematical entry. Go figure. 

Now, my sweets, let's focus on the love that truly sustains us...love for each other, love that leaps out from our chosen or biological families, love for our wonderful selves, love for kindness and beauty and nature and humor and chocolate that's fair trade not Hershey's waxy yucky stuff that enslaves children to make a fast billion.

Back on point, you are very much loved.

Valentine's Day Hate Contest Ballot

Hi, My Dear Sillies,

VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

Not unlike our national ballot's looking, the choices are limited. What happened, my friends? You got shy. I know that many of you, including HRH, had won in the past. That should not be a reason for opting out, though. I know, haikus aren't easy. Thought we'd try something different. (Note that one of the following does follow the rules for a "proper" haiku. Yet we know I'm not always proper.) 

You have two good choices. I might need help understanding Mike's use of numbers. Math isn't my specialty. Wink.

Please VOTE, VOTE, VOTE but only once. Celebrate all the love that abounds. ALL of it, not that sticky sweet sappy money-making Hallmark fantasy stuff. The real love that keeps us afloat and starts inside. Woohoo!

On that note, I love you.

Vote please. 

Mike

Roses are nice,

Violets are fine,

I’ll be the six,

If you be the nine. Haiku!

 

Joanne

Haiku :

Slurped some bad oysters

Conjured past V dates with you

Washed down with champagne

Special thanks for my friends, Mike and Joanne, for entering!

Eat good chocolate any and/or every day. Just don't purchase the cheap stuff, not ever, especially not on Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Erotica, VDay Hate Contest

Dear Silliest of the Sweet Sillies,

Happy February! We like to celebrate the month with a contest. You're challenged to create an offering that bashes the commercialized, yucky, sticky, sappy, misguided fantasy "romantic love is all you need" and blah, blah, yada yada Valentine's lovers' nausea. 

This year, your challenge is to submit a Haiku: Three lines that consist of 5 syllables in line one, 7 syllables in line two, and 5 syllables in line three. You'll vote on the winner, and that lucky person shall receive a very sweet package in the mail. 

Simply leave your haiku in the comments section. Please, only one entry per person, and admissions will be accepted through Sunday 2/11 at midnight, PST. 

Also, I'm so, so close to becoming a millionaire! Less than 10,000 page views to go. Woohoo!  It's unbelievable and will merit hearty celebrations.  

I look forward to seeing your entries. 

Another note: I loved Wonka and may even see it again. Timothee Chalamet brought to the screen a remarkably charming portrayal of young Wonka. Highly recommend. 

Love you, my Sweet Sillies. 

Ode to the Big D

Dear Sillies,
I'll let this Ode speak for itself.
Honestly, though, please let me know if you miss the big D too. I need to not feel so alone in this.
Love you.

Happy New Year, 2024! Horsing Around

Dear Silly Lovies,

HAPPY NEW YEAR! May your joys far outweigh your struggles this year. And may you not forget the value of laughter, the sublime feeling of biting into a divine piece of chewy chocolate, or the thrill of mixing in some naughty.

I recently returned from a wonderful trip to Los Angeles, wherein loving family resides. On my way home, I had to try Marianne's garlic chocolate ice cream in Gilroy, the garlic capital of the world. 

Both flavors are strong, yet they work together harmoniously. Marianne did this right. It was yummy and gone very quickly.

Also on the way home, I stopped to eat Chinese food. The placemat informed me that the year I was born, 1966, is the year of the Horse. 

Let's see, this presumably makes me: 

Popular and attractive to the opposite sex. - Yes, the ones who haven't seen my morning face. 

Often ostentatious - Yes, but not purposefully.

and impatient - Yes, purposefully.

I need people - We all do, and I need most people to leave me alone. 

I'm to Marry a Tiger or a Dog early - I'm not a morning person. See above regarding opposite sex.

but never a Rat. - I married a Snake, purposely, but he was also an ostentatious Rat and an impatient Boar. I needed him to leave me alone. Divorce ensued.

Any other Horses out there?

More love and all kinds of goodness to you for this New Year!