InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

RhiMe, Don't Tell My Boyfriend!

Hi, Dears,

I'll do anything to upstage Martha. Please don't tell my beau about this. It was just a kiss. I mean, it was just a photo opp. That's all. I'm making a socially relevant statement about body positivity, people! Got a huge belly? Be proud! Stick it out til that belly button can be poked into by all (consensually, of course). I'm a respectful lady.   

Oh, and don't tell my beau about this either: I'm planning a big surprise for his 25th sober Birthday! 25 years of sobriety! Can you believe it? Are any of you on that journey? All power to you, if so. It's been approximately 7 years of no alcohol for me. Not because I have a problem. I have MANY problems, as you might suspect. But alcohol isn't one of them. I just decided to hone my fixation on food sugars in the form of chocolate, as you might suspect.

Love and gentle care and trust that you'll keep these secrets.


Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Martha Stewart, Sports Illustrated Oldest of Old Models

Dear Sillies,

Serious announcement: Martha Stewart is today's Sports Illustrated pinup girl.  

I asked Martha if she wore the same garb as our joint* Christmas card in 1994. *By joint, I mean that we shared one and some spiked eggnogg before the shoot. Martha was much..."looser", shall we say? back in the day. 

"Oh, gaw-d no. That was just awful," Martha retorted. I mean, I agree. I used photoshop to drop me into the photo to slenderize the ole hag. It didn't help. 

Actual quotes are yellowed.

Okay, yeah, color me jealous. The 81 year old self-infatuated, criminal prima donna looks hot! I can't upload the cover photo, because of all sorts of legal sh*t. But if you have a thing for ancient women whose bellies are restrained with the same amount of protection necessitated by Prince William's bald head, kindly make the purchase and let us know what you think. 

When called for an interview, Snoop Dogg responded with a staunch and lengthy, enthusiastic bark! 

"It's a testament to good living," adds the upper echelonic iconic senior with senior status symbols of the highest status, who's a privileged diva criminal millionaire (or-is-it-billionaire?) completely detached from all commoners everywhere. 

Martha accents her moment of glorious-albeit-limited exposure by stating "The whole aging thing is so boring." Sure, sweets. You're rather boring. May we all live to that boring age of 81 and beyond and be able to enjoy a fraction of your wealth so we can have a minute of that boring good life you so easily and fortuitously advise. YAWN!

I would like to thank my sweet boyfriend of almost 2 years (Can you believe it? Me neither!) for news of this story. I told him last night that I was desperately scraping the barrel's bottom to find something to post. We're talking Bennifer scraps. He upgraded or downgraded or side-graded things towards this rich boredom.