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Friday, December 29, 2017

New Year's Everotica: For Old Time's Sake

My Dears, the Silliest of the Most Silly,

2017 was perhaps not the world's greatest year. At Life by Chocolate, though, we're thrilled. Why? You showed up! And you showed up consistently. You showed up with a smile. You showed up to grace us with your sharp wit, warm thoughtfulness, outrageous humor, and heartfelt care. Your presence is more important to me than I can say. I relish in giddy-overwhelm when considering all of the unexpected journeys and rewards I've enjoyed because of you.

And we* have plans for an active 2018 here. Oy vey, do we have plans! (Dude Three will return with a wacky twist. Reasons for Celibacy makes a comeback. Erotica never leaves. Will Martha ever leave? We haven't yet managed to oust her.)

I'll be slipping away from cyberspace during New Year's. So I'm leaving this here, along with hopeful sentiment. May 2018 bring good health, love, peace, and all the silliness you deserve.  Chocolate too, of course. Lots of the good stuff. Dark, creamy but firm, hard but not too hard to lick and chew, European or Latin or Costa Rican - whatever entices me. I mean you...

*"We" means Kelly Clarkson and Maccauley Culkin whenever they stop by to take a selfie, and me.

Happy 2018.
I love you, Dear Sillies.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Grand Finale Comment Collage, Starring YOU!

My Silliest of Sillies,
Please enjoy this Year End Grand Finale Comment Collage, along with chocolate and all good things.
Love to you.

Debra She Who Seeks said isn't it bad enough that you lust after Bernie Saunders . . . now you've added Pope Francis to the mix?  JoJo said Wow she really has a way of making things get awkward from zero to 100 in seconds.
Stephen Hayes said The last time I dated, LBJ was in the White House. mail4rosey said If a man even smiles, I run, run, run. L. Diane Wolfe said Yes, a bunch of jerks.
Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said Why do you keep dealing with these losers when I am right here with my tickle trunk full of costumes.
Gorilla Bananas said To be fair to her, a few people do find the Devil cute, but they are mostly pagan, goat-skin wearing types.  A Beer For The Shower said It's like candy that can murder your liver. What's not to love?
Wilma said I like your name for Punctuation Cowboy the best! fishducky said I love it, too!! Am I in part two? Lux G. I think I'd like to visit especially if he looks like Zac Efron.
Yvonne said Ha! You naughty, naughty girl! Alex J. Cavanaugh said You have friends in your fridge? Better let them out.  Plowing Through Life (Martha) said HAHAHA! What a (wonderfully) crazy bunch.  Joanne said it does take a village to complete the world of Robyn.
Connie said Sometimes if you hold your breath and count to ten, the hiccups go away. Pat Tillett said I was feeling anxious for you! Joanne said I kinda thought Bernie would make an appearance for Poly Sci class. There's always second semester. Diane Wolfe said My my! We didn't get to play any of those reindeer games at school. Jono said Long ago in a former life I remember an old guy who used to say this, "When the weather's hot and sultry, that's no time to commit adultery, but when the frost is on the pumpkin, that's the time for peter dunkin'". Elizabeth Seckman said May you get your fill...of chocolate.
Birgit said I didn’t even tell you about the former 

chief of police who played the safety elephant 
who was also into child porn, the transvestite 

who went to my university who killed a 

Hamilton university prof, the man who runs his 
truck into the front of the university, went up to 

the top floor and claimed he was Jesus or the 

men who used the mall washrooms to have fun 

with each other.
A Beer For The Shower said Elaine Benes and Steve Urkel, the power couple that runs primetime with an iron fist.
vaiybora said Nice article great post comment information thanks for sharing

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Big, Big Santa: Christmas Erotica

My Dear Sillies, 
   To those who celebrate Christmas, may it be extra merry with a dash of naughty.
   To those who don't celebrate Christmas, may it be extra merry with a ton of naughty. (Santa's skipping our chimneys anyway.) 
   Love and cheer, my friends.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Hiccups in Lovey Dovey Land

For my dearest of dear silly loyals, I've more story on Dude Three. 
Thanks for staying with me/us here.
I've also some erotica shortly. Afterall, big Santa is coming to town.
Love ya.

   You know that giddy, giggly, sticky sweet feeling reminiscent of a teen hyped up on a gallon of Pop Rocks-infused Mountain Dew, having just scored front-row tickets to see the Monkees in concert? Yeah, me neither. It wasn’t like that. More, an unbelievably calm bliss. 
    I’d taken a wonderful trip to Greece. Now, a very sweet man and I were in lovey dovey land.  I was in deep, and (or do I mean “because”?) he was in deep. Too good to be true? I did wonder. I’d enjoy it regardless.
   There were hiccups. But that’s how it goes.
   Dude Three became distant and abrupt one day. This was only through messaging, though. We’d talk it out.  (Right?)

Dude: “Its crazy windy. We won’t be hiking!” (We’d planned a hike for that evening.)

He’s making decisions for us now? Me: “K.”

Dude: “Are you mad? You seem mad. Getting a weird vibe here.”

Me: “No. I'm just not going to argue or fight with you. I prefer your not making decisions for us, that’s all. Want to get out for a walk at least. I know you’re at work, honey. We’ll talk about it when you come over, okay? *sticky sweet GIF here*”

Dude: “Yes, we do need to talk. I feel like you’ve been mad at me all day and I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ll be honest, I might not come over.”

Whoa. I panicked. Me: “What just happened? I haven’t said anything blaming. You DIDN’T do anything wrong. I explained why I'm being brief. See the lovey thing I added. I can’t make you come over. But I’ll be extremely upset if you don’t. I'm already in deep. You have my heart. If you are going to run away when we have problems, this can’t work.”

Dude: “We’ll be okay. I want you and your heart. I’ll be over at 6pm.”

Would Dude Three and I be okay? 
To be continued.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Year End Comment Collage, Part I. Starring YOU!

My Dearest Sillies,
   Thank you for all the laughs this past year. They're the gift that keeps on giving. I suspect that my giggly delirium can be heard from miles away, when I create these collages.

   And now, Life by Chocolate's most weirdly fun comments of the year. Stay tuned for 1-2 more installments.

    Keep on laughing.
Take care. 
   I  love ya.

Pickleope Von Pickleope said You can't seduce people to sell their souls if you look like Steve Bannon.  Geo. said I'm cute as a button.
Pat Hatt said lmao make sure they are ripe bananas though, those old ones may hang rather low.   
Birgit said Reminds me of my high school. My math teacher came on to me and I had to take his arm off me, I got a D in his class. It was a catholic school so priests and nuns ran about. One priest loved it when the girls sat on his lap, another was caught with the mayor of the city tied up naked in Buffalo. They picked up 2 male prostitutes and were taken for a ride..They also scammed the school out of $20,000 from the lottery that was run. The principal, Father Leblanc, was charged with child porn in 2013  Janie Junebug said Damn, that's good! I need a Willy Dunne Wooters' visit now. Love, JanieMitchell is Moving said Wishing you the real thing (not frozen, but just as stiff) really soon.mail4rosey said I'm not sure those underwear would be a good fit for me.
Debra She Who Seeks said Yes, this has wet my whistle for the bar brawl!
Pickleope Von Pickleope said I kept waiting for dongs and sex but you did it, you made it through an entire poem without erotic imagery. Elephant's Child said Small you may be, but none the less potentially very, very dangerous. Anthony J. Langford said It's a freakin' jungle out there! Debra She Who Seeks said Shakespeare is so jealous that HE didn't write "Oh God-iva, my Ding Dong dream!vaiybora said Nice article great post comment information thanks for sharing