My Story, Yours Too.

Monday, May 16, 2022

Color Me Confused

Dear Sillies, 

I hope you're finding reason to smile these days.

Given the big trial, I sought books on Depp. I found this very nice coloring book that helps you to RELIVE your Stress! Oy. We need that like a hole in the head, am I right? 

Johnny Depp Coloring Book: A Nice Coloring Book With Images Of Johnny Depp. A Way To Relax And Relive Stress Paperback – December 23, 2020

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

😃
BADWIN: We can't be charting here on your post inbox me
Robyn Alana Engel: No, no charting. We can't do charting. Wow, you are so smart. You didn't buy my books. Go to Amazon. Chart to Author Robyn Alana Engel's page. Buy my books and then I will inbox you because you claim to be a widowed doctor from Syria. Hold me back! My boyfriend would like to be friends with you too. Inbox me your phone number so we can all get to know each other after you buy my books. xxx

Robyn Alana Engel: PS Doctor James Badwin, "orthopaedic" surgeons can usually spell their job title. Use dictionary. Chart it out. You can do it!

Robyn Alana Engel: Doctor James Badwin, where did you go? We were so looking forward to a new friendship. You did good, sweetie. You figured out how to spell "orthopedic." You didn't buy any of my books, however. I'm hurt and disappointed. Surely a fine handsome widowed surgeon like yourself can chart $2.99 for my kindle book. That is, unless you're a rude, creepy, and very stupid hacker. My boyfriend and I were so looking forward to a threeway "as just friends." Note the quotation marks. Wink.

Don't chart unless it's absolutely necessary, my Sillies.
Do keep a smile.
Love you.

Monday, May 2, 2022

May Days and The May Pole Dance!

 Dear Silliest of Sillies,

   It's May! We all know what that means. Yeah, it's time to polish up the ole May pole, remove a few layers, and go wild.
   Or just take time to smell a lovely rose.

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Primer Gets Me! InSanity Reviews

Dear Sillies,

Excuse me for this, but if I can't brag here, where can I brag? Besides Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat...But Musk owns Twitter now, and I'm on #TeamJohnnyDepp, so this will get interesting. Musk and Heard had an alleged affair, and he gave her a Tesla AFTER he bugged it. OMG, do I really eat up this tabloid drama? Clearly, I do. I'm not well in the head. But that's a given. Even strangers know it.

When strangers are moved by my writing, it's a whole new level of reward. Thanks, "Primer", for your very thoughtful review of InSanity, from this little, "little over the edge" woman!
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2022

What a read! Loved it. The first person, in your head of a "little over the edge" woman is done flawlessly. The writing is crisp, the subject matter very relatable. I could envision everything and feel everything the main character was experiencing real-time. The means by which the chapters are each their own little "life experience" comes across as brilliance personified. The story flows as fast as the snarky wit of author Robyn Alana Engel can readily produce the prose. The sometimes borderline psychotic narrative is rife of wit and sarcasm, though at times delves into dark and serious issues, before again rising to near hilarity! The novel undoubtedly contains every emotional ingredient necessary so that we all could have a good look into ourselves, while too a chuckle at today's society. Bravo!


Be well, my dears.

PS Buy my book here.

Love ya.

Monday, April 18, 2022

Martha's Chard and My Love

Dear Sillies,
She's back again! Martha, Martha, Martha! Apologies, friends. Martha Stewart signed with 19 Crimes. She's a felon, afterall. You can drink her Chardonnay now. 
Have you, per chance? Even if I drank, this wouldn't make my list.
 Most reviewers like it, so I dug a bit to find these:
  • 1-star I wouldn’t even use this for cooking. Super heavy on the honey notes. Don’t waste your $. 
  • 3-stars I mean it’s okay. We all know why we bought this.
  • Otherwise, it's been a nice Passover-Easter weekend and springtime. 

I HATE, HATE, HATE those lovey dovey "I'm so happy with the best partner in the world" posts. Don't you? But he is a very handsome gentleman. Wouldn't ya say? The most handsome, right? Well, compared to my other exes (bar's awfully low.) And JT's fine with me posting photos of him. I had to promise I'd never capture George, for example, on my blog. When I caught a snippet of his jacket sleeve, that sent him into an anxious chastising. Really dude?!

So I AM boasting that I found one man who isn't weird. 10.5 months now, and holding (my breath). 

Take good care, my Sillies. 
I love you.

Monday, April 11, 2022

Starring Alex J. Cavanaugh and his final Cassa book, CassaDark!

Dear Sillies,
Over a decade ago, we were going to participate in a group blog, along with three others, but that never took off. Since then, Alex has become a good friend and an ever loyal source of support. He's far and away the most kindhearted, determined, and brilliant of bloggers (err, Ninjas). I like to say that Alex J. Cavanaugh is blogland's greatest gift, because he is. In fact, Alex is such a talented writer that I developed a crush on one of his characters. I think you'll figure out which one. 

Folks, we're incredibly lucky to welcome Alex J. Cavanaugh to Life by Chocolate's studio! The audience roars. American Ninja Warrior's theme song by Rapid Fire blasts our eardrums. Alex appears dressed in a sleek black Ninja warrior suit, with electric guitar. He sets what looks to be some sort of teleporter, perhaps, to his side. Robyn eyes this tall, shiny gadget, and she casually moves closer to it. 

Robyn: Oh, um, congratulations, Alex! CassaDark is your sixth project. You completed a sextet! Woo-hoo, it's getting hot in here. Robyn fans her face. That must've taken a lot out of you, am I right? How do you feel to have climaxed, Alex? You crossed the final finish line!
 
Alex: Exhausted! No wait, I can do more. Crap, what’s the right answer? Four novels, one short story, and a boxed set. I’d say I did damned good with the series. A fitting end. 

Robyn: But are you sure about that? I want more Byron. How's he doing, by the way? I mean, sometimes us authors decide we're done writing books but the next book nags at us. So what's next, and how's Byron? Is he still with what's-her-name? 
 
Alex: Byron is still with Athee. Mates for life, remember? He’s retiring and ready to enjoy life. And you do know he’s getting up in age, right? Oh wait, you like the older men, don’t you?

Robyn: Sigh...Bernie, Byron, and the Pope. How's Byron? I mean, what message would like us all to know about CassaDark and the entire Cassa series?
 
Alex: Again, he’s fine. CassaDark takes us on an adventure with Byron’s son, now a grown man. He’ll face a lot of hostiles on the prisoner planet of Ugar, uncovering layers of lies in the process. Just might make a man of him yet!
 
Robyn: Where can we get ahold of Byron? I mean, where can we find and purchase your book? Robyn whispers to Alex: In case JT and I don't work out, and he's not with what's-her-name, have Byron contact me.
 
Alex: I don’t have his number. Do you have a teleporter? He’s currently on Tgren. You can borrow mine if you don’t have one. Just don’t tell Byron I let you use it. Well, maybe that’s a bad idea. Never mind.
You can find my book here:

Robyn: Thanks Byron, I mean you, Alex. It was great to have you here. All the success in this and other worlds with CassaDark and your next adventures!
We love you and Byron. 
 
Alex: Thanks, Robyn! Wait, where are you going with my teleporter? Robyn? Robyn!

Friday, April 1, 2022

COMMENT COLLAGE Starring YOU!

Dear Sillies,
Happy April! 
Let's enjoying some foolishness through a medley of your recent comments: 

Joanne said Always a fun romp in the clover. And alas, not keen on Irish whiskey to knock me out.

Anthony J. Langford said Funeral services love them though. Those Extra Large 'curvy' caskets cost a bomb!

Joanne said F yoga and Pilates too.

Debra She Who Seeks said You know, you're going to give poor old Bernie and Francis a heart attack.

Debbie D. said BTW, Short Person's Day is Dec. 22.

Moving with Mitchell said I used to google myself but I find it so tiresome to be reminded of my criminal past. 

L. Diane Wolfe said George of the Jungle was a better song than movie. Especially the version by Weird Al.

New Release Books said Nothing does anything for me now.

Mary Kirkland said Ah yes, I have found my people! Ha! Pull up a chair, pass the box of donuts around and bring along the chocolate shakes. I'm fat and I'm ok with that. Bring on the cookies!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said Is poking a badger with a fork an original sin?

Birgit said Why don’t they just call it Fat Day and show pics of the Walmart people.

Annalisa Crawford said My favourite, which I didn't have room to include this month, is Procrastination Week. Mike said Looks like you're ready for church!

Elizabeth Seckman said Look at that trampy Martha eying that guys sausage!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said Reminds me of the singing telegram in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - 'I'm here to restore your pluck 'cus I'm the nurse who likes to...'

Sandy said Oh my, oh my....you've made me speechless.

Al Penwasser said Did Tori Spelling get stung by a bee? Or the whole hive?

Jeff  said BTW, have you seen your former governor, Arnold's, video to the Russia people? It's good!

Elizabeth Seckman said Sticking it to the beaver...I can't top that comment.

Pat Hatt said A carrot treat hopefully not to be beat.

Birgit said Who hasn't thought of doing it I the pews. Bernie would blush but the Pope? Maybe a scowl with a slight knowing smile.

balanced a.f. said But anyway, this was quite the eye-opening festive read for my early morning.

Monday, March 21, 2022

Springtime Erotica: Holy Trinity (Bernie, Robyn, and the Pope)

Dear Sillies,

Spring hath sprung! 

In its honor, a few old (and I mean OLD) friends and some young hotties (and I mean HOT) have dropped by to begin to fill our baskets. Here's to surging urges and treats galore this spring. 

Love you.

Monday, March 14, 2022

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

March Madness, How Will Whoopi Goldberg Celebrate World Obesity Day?

Dear Sillies,
   I'm often bewildered by "National/World Days." Who comes up with this stuff, and why combine things like a dental visit with Oreo cookies? That's awfully strange and hygienically destructive. I'd love your thoughts. 
   At any rate, happy March!

From the spruce.com, the first week's celebrations follow.  
  • March 1: National Peanut Butter Lover's Day
There's more than one lover of Peanut Butter. Move that apostrophe!
  • March 2: Dr. Seuss's Birthday, National Read Across America Day
  • March 3: World Wildlife Day, World Book Day
but we just read across the country in Dr. Seuss' honor yesterday. We're supposed to read all over again, while celebrating wildlife? Okay, but watch out for that...t r e e eeeee
  • March 4: National Hug a G.I. Day, National Grammar Day, World Obesity Day, Employee Appreciation Day
Whewee, which G.I. do I get to hug? I hope he's a hottie with good spelling and a big...knowledge of appropriate grammar. 
World Obesity Day? Are you kidding me? First off, we celebrate Obesity Day every single day in the United States. But hey, let's enjoy another excuse to eat more donuts and fast food and wash it down with an extra large Starbucks mocha latte espresso whatever with extra whipped cream, carmel and chocolate syrup, not blended, no ice. Thank the fine employees who keep us obese and/or try their damn-dest to get us there. 
Sorry not sorry that Whoopi has big thoughts on obesity.
  • March 5: National Day of Unplugging (first Friday of every March) Psst, I don't think they mean anything sexual by "unplugging," Tori. 

March 6: National Dentist's Day and 
National Oreo Cookie Day
  Oh the irony. To indulge before or after visiting your friendly dentist??

  • March 7: National Cereal Day 
in case you didn't pack enough sugar into your first 6 days of March!

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Self-Googling for Public Voyeurism

Dear Sillies,

This is the only Yogi I've been drawn to. Well, not this particular one, the cartoon version.  Retired Jellystone Park Cartoon Icon 9" Plush Yogi Bear Doll

Do you do yoga? I've been googling myself, and it's not as stimulating as it sounds. I learned that Robyn Engel is a beloved yoga teacher in the San Francisco Bay Area.

"She (Robyn Engel) has a beautiful vocabulary and speaks amazing sentences to the class. So much so that I glean words from her and dwell on them all week."  

-yogi who loves Robyn Engel

    Girlfriend, Seriously? You dwell on Robyn Engel's f*bleep*n verbiage from Robyn Engel's f*bleep*n amazing sentences, all week long? That's just what a hippie dippie yogi who's inhaled far too much organics would do. Get help, child. Er, glean positivity vibrations from whence professional assistance hath made itself accessible to thine flexibility. 

   I mean, I hate yoga. It's supposed to calm you. How can it calm a person to balance on one foot, while placing the other such as to form a perfect triangle with one thigh holding still, parallel to the floor and only slightly touching the standing leg with the flat of that foot, coordinated so the rest of the class doesn't have to hide their laughter at what an inept tree - buffoon you are in Robyn Engel's class? F*k yoga! Am I right?   

Another person wrote of Engel VERY NICE AND CUTE BUT  NOT MUCH ELSE

This person's describing the Engel cooler. 

Or are they?19-Quart Cooler/Dry Box thumbnail 1


Do you google yourself? What do you find? Or do you prefer to keep this to yourself? (I respect that too.)

Love you regardless, Sillies.

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

She Who Seeks, Wins!

 Dear Sillies,

Competition was as fierce as it was silly.

And the winner of this year's Life by Chocolate Valentine's Day Hatefest is         Debra She Who Seeks  for

A nip and tuck
Improves romantic luck
Helps you find a cute guy in a truck
And finally get that . . .
[Oops, word limit reached]

Birgit takes a close second place with
You're so special to me
but you nag rather than let things be.
Now you are buried under that old oak tree.

Debra will receive a very sweet mailing for this worthy victory!

CONGRATULATIONS Debra! And congratulations, Birgit. Thank you to everyone who entered and weighed in. (But don't weigh yourselves. Do indulge in real/non-Hershey's chocolates this week or whenever.)
Love ya. 

Sunday, February 13, 2022

VDay Hatefest Contest! VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

My Dear silly creatives, 
This year's annual VDay hatefest entries are the best ever! This is gonna be tough. Please pick one and only one that's your favorite. Vote for anyone but your own. Note that there's always one rule breaker; 25 words was the max. (But a man of the cloth must be forgiven.)
Thanks for playing. 
You're such a fun crew. How can I not love you? I do.
 
Blood splatter is red
Ultraviolet lights are blue
I've seen enough murder movies
That they'll never find you!

 Elephant's Child 

Roses are red, violets are blue,
A night with chocolate pisses on one with you...

 Mike Will you be my valentine? I could stand to save some money.

 Debra She Who Seeks
A nip and tuck
Improves romantic luck
Helps you find a cute guy in a truck
And finally get that . . .
[Oops, word limit reached]

 Birgit

You're so special to me
but you nag rather than let things be.
Now you are buried under that old oak tree.

Geo.

Lupercalia To Valentine
From Lupercalia to St. Val.
It's time for every guy and gal
To tryst under our lunar disk
And exercise their asterisks.

Debbie D.  

Valentine's Day is almost here
The merchants rub their hands with glee
Silly people live in fear
Don't they know that love is free?

Jeff  

My woman hates chocolate
so I'll not buy chocolate unless its for myself,
for no one else will,
and if I buy my own,
it (25 word mark here) won't be Hersey's nor milk chocolate,
I want it dark and rich...
And while I'm at it, cupid is stupid,
and so is keeping account of number of my words.

I'm widowed.
I don't want chocolates.
I want a huge ribeye steak that I can eat alone in peace. lol 
 
I went to the store
To purchase some heartfelt love
Eff. Super Bowl's on!

 

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

February Love and Hate Fest

Dear Sillies,
I've been slacking. We're already closing in on mid-February. It's time for our annual VDay Hatefest. First, a disclaimer: I'm still dating JT. 8 months now! Both in our 50s, we agree that we wouldn't have worked out had we met years earlier. We weren't ready. We were too different, and too married, and/or too involved with meaningless flings (Nah, that's just me). 

Now that we're mature, as per this photo, 

we can support each other, keep our separate lives going, and I can beat him at Scrabble. (He doesn't blog, so he doesn't know I wrote this.) He's actually WAY smarter than me, which I tell him all the time. I'm WAY more competitive, though. Top score: 394. Woot! 

Back on point, I still HATE, HATE, HATE all that Valentine's Day represents. Your worth is not based on your marital or dating status.  There is no fairytale. Oftentimes, being single is a very good choice. And if a couple needs to showcase their love, something's wrong. Self-respect and self-love are key. Hershey chocolates are neither fair trade nor edible. Romantic love doesn't ONLY exist as it does in the media (between straight men and women who happen to be white, gorgeous, single, and stranded together in a snazzy ski resort). 

So bring it! Give us some hate. Comment by 2/14, in less than 25 words, with hateful sentiment towards any or all aspects of what St. Valentine's Day's attached to according to our superficial, money grubby, close minded media and Hallmark.  

Must be a follower, and please no curse words but you're welcome to use an *asterisk* (e.g., f*ck Hershey chocolates). 

You'll vote for your favorite, and the winner will receive a very sweet mailing from me.

Thank you, Silly Loves.

 

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Tribute to Jeremy Hawkins

Dear Ones,
   Often our connections become much more meaningful than we imagine would transpire from mere words on a screen. Tragically, this also means heartache upon losing members of our blog family. 
   Jeremy Hawkins is one of those people. COVID took him just over one month ago. I wish I'd appreciated Jeremy more and had gotten to know him better. So it goes sometimes, sadly.
  Jeremy was incredibly generous and heartfelt. He gave freely with never an expectation of money or recognition. He was a deep thinker, had a fun and silly side, and was just downright nice. Jeremy's artistry and techie skills were top notch and truly unique.
   My heart is heavy for Jeremy Hawkin's family, for his blog brother Alex, and for Jeremy's other countless loved ones. 

May Jeremy's family feel an abundance of love from us today and on an ongoing basis. Blogland isn't the same. 
He's dearly missed. 

  I'm glad to now show you my Batman and Robin shirt from Jeremy's family business. Holy cow, Batman. It's fabulous! I love it. Please consider supporting the family by claiming your own here. There are tons of fun designs. (This is a Medium. They run slightly small, and exact measurements are provided. The company is VERY friendly, with reasonable prices, and discount offers. Well worth it, especially for the sake expressing our love for Jeremy and his precious family at this heart-wrenching time.)

Rest in Peace, Jeremy Hawkins. 

Your memory is a blessing to us all.

Monday, January 24, 2022

Houses of Hogwart's Assignments

 Dear Sillies,
   Any Harry Potter fans out there? I'm not much of a fan, but J.K. Rowling's legacy seems ever popular, eternally so. In fact, several youngins recently told me which Hogwart's House (of Witchcraft and Wizardry) they'd be assigned, based on their personality traits. 

   


 
After taking a shallow dive, I decided that I'm a Gryffindor

We're bold, rash, and virtuous.

Birgit and MistressM, will you be my roommates? We'll have so much fun! Al Penwasser goes here too, but he's permanently prohibited from the girls' area. (He kept starting panty raids.)

****************

Ravenclaw students are wise, clever, and independent.

Debra She Who Seeks and Mitchell, I'd place you here. What do you think? 

                             **************

Hufflepuff is for the loyal, caring, and hardworking like Elephant's Child and Joanne. You ladies okay with this? Alex, I'd put you here too. But you're also a Ravenclaw, so have your pick. 

************

Slytherins invest in self-preservation. They're cunning and resourceful, like those who praise my wonderfully informative blog (e.g., RR. Buy my books, RR!) and the one who won't stop spamming my blog with packers biz ~ packers for Bangladesh, packers for Yugoslavia, packers for everywhere except within Aaron Rodgers' vicinity.  (He's a Slytherin too.)                                   
Which House of Hogwart's do you belong to?   

Thursday, January 13, 2022

Tribute to Jeremy Hawkins, Entertaining Celebrity Book Reviews

Dear Sillies,

In case you haven’t seen Alex’s blog, which you likely have, please visit it here. I talk about being crazy, and about songs with “crazy” in the title. My point is that there’s a good kinda crazy and a bad. What “crazy” songs come to your mind?

On a somber, very different note, Alex has planned a  FEBRUARY 2nd tribute for a close friend of his and many. This very special family man and blogger passed away in early January (from COVID), JeremyHawkinsJeremy was incredibly open hearted. He designed the IWSG logo, t-shirts, page headers . . . you name it. He refused to take money from us for his work. Such a sweet, special person. Jeremy’s artistic talents were spectacular too. Please consider supporting his family in any of the ways that Alex mentions

 ~~~~~Onto minutiae, I've been scanning celebrity book reviews to find some entertaining ones for you. Here we go:

4.0 out of 5 stars OK, so you're Rob Lowe? Now try and impress me.............PS If you think Rob is handsome you have never seen his dad! 

To save you the time, his dad's a well respected lawyer in Ohio, indeed quite attractive.




 

Bad title, Mariah. Really? The meaning of you

In fairness, I did read a bit of it and you're a good writer. I got distracted, though, by senseless italicized words and quotation marks. Otherwise, I know you know that your book's been very well received. However, not everyone feels the same:

3.0 out of 5 stars A loooong trip to the therapist with Mariah

 1.0 out of 5 stars The meaning of who cares Poorly written and and full of ego. 

Shania’s book looks to be the most vapid of these three. 

I like Shania Twain, but I won't buy this one.

but i have to say, shania criticizes the 'other woman' for seducing mutt, but it takes two to tango, in my opinion and mutt was a big boy who knew exactly what he was doing.

Um, yeah. Damn mutt! FYI: Mutt is her ex husband who divorced Shania after Mutt had an affair with Shania's (married) friend. In turn, Shania married the man who was married to this "friend." Go, Shania! But do stop the whining, girlfriend.

Obviously many people have been divorced but few have the hundreds of millions of dollars and a castle in Switzerland to cushion them when starting over. 

Excellent point. What could be so devastating that a romantic getaway with your hubby to your castle in Switzerland wouldn't help fix?