It seems insecurities delight in wreaking havoc with creative minds, so Alex J. Cavanaugh founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support to each other. Please check out Alex’s link to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of kind-hearted bloggers/writers, authors and all-around great folks.
And now, we are incredibly fortunate to welcome Dr. Ruth Westheimer to our studio. Though orphaned by the Holocaust, Dr. Ruth displays exceptional resilience and boldness. In 1980, she launched her radio show, Sexually Speaking. Dr. Ruth quickly drew worldwide popularity for her grandmotherly appearance yet unflinching candor. Her accolades include at least 35 published books, and a stint as a sniper in the Israeli Defense Forces. Plus she’s tiny - about my height. I look up to her. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome Dr. Ruth Westheimer.
Dr. Ruth, at age 83, strolls on stage with a warm smile and wave. Robyn gives her a hug and invites her to take a seat.
Robyn: Welcome, Dr. Ruth! It’s a great honor to have you here to talk about s, s, s,se..cks.
Dr. Ruth: My dear why are you stuttering?
Robyn: Laughing nervously and turning red-faced. I guess I have insecurities. That’s why I asked you here.
Dr. Ruth: You have sexual insecurities? Could it be vaginismus? Are you not achieving orgasm during intercourse? Is he suffering from erectile dysfunction? Have you consulted a doctor about Viagra? Tell me what the problem is.
Robyn: Oh, God. My heart races, legs and arms begin convulsing radically, and I stare down at my feet. Well, I, I don’t actually have ANY sexual problems. Because I’m not having ANY sex these days. It’s more a matter of needing to write about my asexuality. And that feels abnormal and kinda embarrassing. Plus there were some thwarted attempts to have s, s, se--. Crap! Dr. Ruth, it was never my fault that the guys couldn’t, you know, but it’s still humiliating. And the men I’ve been meeting these days, whew, talk about nutters! I’m so turned off I don’t even want to high-five them wearing latex gloves and a gas mask. Ah – I sigh— celibacy is relieving.
Dr. Ruth: So you don’t have a sex partner? Is that what you’re trying to say?
Robyn: I guess. I think. I mean, yes, I don’t have a partner. That’s status quo for me.
Dr. Ruth: No problem. Go into your bedroom, close the door, read steamy books, play Barry White, and bring yourself to pleasure.
Robyn: My face evokes utter disgust. Oh, God, I can’t. I just can’t.
Dr. Ruth: Why not? Quit whining and enjoy yourself.
Robyn: No, it’s not that. It’s just…Barry White, Doctor Ruth? I’d climax in my own vomit.
Dr. Ruth: Well then try Marvin Gaye.
Robyn: That’s better. I relax into a lengthy exhale, pull a Big Hunk bar out of my purse and hand her a piece. Thanks so much, Dr. Ruth. You’re a true gem. You’ve really enlightened me and the world.
We walk off stage, arm in arm, exchanging grins and chatter while nibbling at chunks of Big Hunk.
End note 1: I really can’t do justice to this endearing woman or her German accent, which I didn’t even attempt to inject. For a more authentic snippet and/or a bit or nostalgia, go here:
End note 2: I opted out of the A-Z Challenge this year, mainly to focus on my book. But I feel some guilt over reaping the benefits (thanks to Alex’s sweet shout-out yesterday) without trudging through the alphabet. Sending gratitude to new followers; energy and drive - plus delight, donuts, and divine inspiration - to those currently contending with “d”; and much appreciation to my dear friend, Alex!