My Story, Yours Too.

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

A Break from Celibacy, Molly and Huey

 Dear Sillies,
   I confess, I've been holding out. Well, not true. Err, I'm not spreading it. Info, that is. I haven't kept you satisfied, not at all. I'm so sorry. 
   Truth is I've been on a nice long break from celibacy. Not because of a man, though. Because of several men. Not at once. Promise, but that's a nice thought. How caring of you!   
   I didn't want to write about any of it. It's hard. Well, not that hard, hard enough. You know? Oy. Lemme just tell you about Huey. 
   The damn "shelter in place" had been going on for about half a year. Loneliness spiked. So I went to a comedy show, where I, well, performed, and was invited to a party afterward.
   The man who invited me is a hysterical comic who's very suave and hot. 
   "I don't do drugs or drink at all," I told Hottie.
   Hottie replied "It doesn't matter, Robyn" and gave me the details.
   There I sat in the midst of a hallucinating drug trip, sober. The crowd was kind and respectful of my--ahem--puritan ways. 
   A man to my right, someone from that circuit who'd intrigued me, struck up discourse about how comedy's a remedy for depression. 
   He enticed me with his sincerity and warm smile. His belly's huge, and I picked up on a sweet innocence about him (despite the fact that he and everyone but me was drugged out). We'll call him Huey.
   "Hey, what's your situation, pretty lady?" 
   I told Huey it was my first fun night since pre-COVID and I'm  single. He stroked my arm as we talked. It felt nice. Human touch -- sigh. It'd been too long. I reciprocated.
   Huey moved in for a kiss, and then more kissing. That felt nicer.
   Partiers came in and out of the room: "You guys are cute!" "You can go outside for privacy" "Good stuff, huh? I see it's working!" A bit awkward, but I'm a fan of that molly thing. (Never did any drugs or smoking whatsoever. I swear, but I did drink a lot of girlie drinks back in the day, and I do swear like a drunken sailor lost at sea.)
   Huey messaged me the next morn: "so sorry for last night hope I didn't make you feel bad." 
                                      to be continued...

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Hot Chocolate, Jalapeno Hot!

 Dear Sillies,   

   You know that hangry feeling? Yeah, I was feeling it and grabbed a hangry bar - milk chocolate with Jalapeno and pretzels. 

   It tasted great and chocolatey sweet, until...

it didn't. Whoowee, they didn't spare on the jalapeno. Keep a jug of water close, if you try one. I forgot about the pretzels, not a strong salty flavor. Overall, this babe's properly named and is a good fix for the hangries. I give it a 9. But I hope you don't NEED one.
Be well and not hangry.
Love,
Robyn

Monday, February 15, 2021

VALENTINE'S DAY HATEFEST WINNER!! She's a Spunky One!

Dear Sillies,

   Excuse the delay, but we interrogated King Putinontheritz regarding one suspicious ballot.*   He said only "Nyet?" We didn't know what to do next, so we sent it to Florida. They shouted, "We took him back. What more do you want?" and tossed the ballot in his hole. I mean, in Mar a lago's 13th hole. It mattered not. Not every vote counts. (What do you think this is, Canada?)

   It was close, my friends. Votes were all over the place. 

*Here's the ballot in question:

Janie Junebug I know this says Janie Junebug, but I'm not Janie Junebug. No, definitely not Janie, but I vote for her.

Love,
Janie

oops

With or without voter fraud, we have one clear winner. Her entry is poignant. It's succinct, and it's beautifully hateful. CONGRATULATIONS, L. Diane, Spunk on a Stick

 

L. Diane Wolfe

Give me your heart...so I can grind it into the dirt.



Diane will receive a package catered to her individual needs and preferences. I believe you don't eat chocolate-gasp!, Diane, so we'll work around that. Please have your people contact mine at Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Thank you. 

Thank you all for entering and voting! 

CONGRATULATIONS to a most worthy winner!