InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

Martha Stewart, Sports Illustrated Oldest of Old Models

Dear Sillies,

Serious announcement: Martha Stewart is today's Sports Illustrated pinup girl.  

I asked Martha if she wore the same garb as our joint* Christmas card in 1994. *By joint, I mean that we shared one and some spiked eggnogg before the shoot. Martha was much..."looser", shall we say? back in the day. 

"Oh, gaw-d no. That was just awful," Martha retorted. I mean, I agree. I used photoshop to drop me into the photo to slenderize the ole hag. It didn't help. 

Actual quotes are yellowed.

Okay, yeah, color me jealous. The 81 year old self-infatuated, criminal prima donna looks hot! I can't upload the cover photo, because of all sorts of legal sh*t. But if you have a thing for ancient women whose bellies are restrained with the same amount of protection necessitated by Prince William's bald head, kindly make the purchase and let us know what you think. 

When called for an interview, Snoop Dogg responded with a staunch and lengthy, enthusiastic bark! 

"It's a testament to good living," adds the upper echelonic iconic senior with senior status symbols of the highest status, who's a privileged diva criminal millionaire (or-is-it-billionaire?) completely detached from all commoners everywhere. 

Martha accents her moment of glorious-albeit-limited exposure by stating "The whole aging thing is so boring." Sure, sweets. You're rather boring. May we all live to that boring age of 81 and beyond and be able to enjoy a fraction of your wealth so we can have a minute of that boring good life you so easily and fortuitously advise. YAWN!

I would like to thank my sweet boyfriend of almost 2 years (Can you believe it? Me neither!) for news of this story. I told him last night that I was desperately scraping the barrel's bottom to find something to post. We're talking Bennifer scraps. He upgraded or downgraded or side-graded things towards this rich boredom.

Sunday, April 30, 2023

May Pole Erotica!

Dear Silliest of Sillies,

It's May 1st, and you know what that means.

Yep, pause to smell a lovely rose today, and dance enthusiastically around a sturdy pole tonight.

Love ya, my silly ones.

Monday, April 17, 2023

King Charles III and his Side Dish, Katy Perry

Dear Sillies,

It's official. Katy Perry will perform for the royal coronation. King Charles really, really likes her. He'd appointed Katy to fulfill the role of British Asian Trust Ambassador. I know, right? So weird! 

Guess what! I invited this duo to our studio today, for highly enlightened discourse. They said, "Yep. Sure. We'll do anything together." Note that these are all actual quotes, excepting the last sentence. Enjoy. I mean, apologies.

Robyn: Audience, let's give a lukewarm welcome to the royal Charles and his royal British Asian side salad, Katy Perry!The curtain lifts, revealing Katy standing blatantly in front of Charles, his right hand suspiciously close to Katy's derriere. The room goes silent, as King Charles' escort service, I mean Camilla, the "King's consort", glares vindictively at Katy from front row, center. 
Charles III eyes Katy up and down: Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes.

Katy grabs her boobs gleefully and boasts: I went from zero to my own hero!

Charles III to Camilla: Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress? 

Katy: I have confidence because my research shows that I should just really trust my instincts. With that, Katy drops the curtain, and strangely animalistic barking noises ensue. Oh wait, that's Camilla. 

Robyn: Will the atrocity of British Royalty mixed with the dim-wittedness of Katy Perry, British Asian Ambassador, King Charles' side salad, continue to soil Queen Elizabeth's blessed memory? We can only hope...not.