The Date to Hate Contest Winner!

Dear Sillies, 
   The polls closed late into the night last night. Votes were tallied and re-tallied. It was a close struggle. We suspect possible Russian collusion, but we know our citizens are good with some fowl (or in this case, goat) play. So now, I present to you this year's Life by Chocolate's Anti-VDay Winning slogan - the best of the worst attempts to seduce:

Baby, 

I am ready to float your boat.

I've been practicing for years 
on my pet goat. 

Our winner is our very own, the one and the only, a friend to all...felines and goats, Mr. Pat Hatt!

Thank you to all who entered.

Congratulations, Pat! Pat Hatt will receive a nice, sweet WINNER'S package!

Sympathies to your pet goat. 

Sweetness to you, my dears, today and always.

You are loved.  

   

The Date to Hate Contest, Vote Now!

My Dearest Sillies,
   I challenged you to create a Valentine's message that, while meant to seduce, does the opposite - in no more than 30 words.
   You rose (err, lowered) to the task in a colorful way.
   So as to keep you focused on the sentiment versus the blogger, I've numbered the entries. Your task is to vote for one and only one entry. Please don't vote for your own. Must be a follower to vote. Polls will close on Wed, 2/13, 8p EST. Thank you!
   Ready, set, vote!

1) Dear Valentine,
It seems you are mine,
Over time you have grown on me,
I am not certain there is an antibiotic strong enough to set me free.

2) I'm not a cactus expert but I see a Prick when I see one.

3) Blood is red
Dead people are blue
I love you to death
That much is true!

  

4) If you have burning love to share for V Day, I can scratch your itch.

5) my heart beat faster when I was with you
I could barely breathe after our first kiss
Yes, I'm allergic to nuts like you.

6) Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just one in the bed
My right arm is huge

7) "Erica? Take a letter, please.
Sweetheart,
Happy Valentine's Day, my Darling, my Love, my One and Only!
Yours eternally,
Mark.
Carbon copies to Mindy, Sheila, Caitlin, Brianna, Elaine, and Janis."

8) Some days I hate people.
I love that we have than in common.

9) I said I'd love you through thick and thin. 

I didn't think you'd get so much thicker after I said that. 

Get thin and be my Valentine!

10) I love you almost as much as my boat...

11) Darling Valentine, be mine, always mine.
Join me at my table.
I'll take you out of the oven and be ready to dine.
Love,
Hannibal Lecter, with some fava beans / cut-off at 30 words (and a nice Chianti)

12) Happy Valentine's Day. You're the reason I like animals better than people.

13) Baby, I am ready to float your boat.

I've been practicing for years on my pet goat.    

14) Roses are red
Violets are blue
That’s because I’m strangling you.

15) I don't like you, you're annoying,
but heres some cheap chocolate, lets get busy boinking!!

It's The Date (2/14) to Hate Contest!

Dear Sillies,
It's that time of year! Time for our annual bashing of the Date (2/14) worthy of furious venom. Thus, *we're sponsoring a Date to Hate Contest. *Aquaman, Prince Harry, Iris Elba, and I.

RULES:
In NO MORE THAN 30 WORDS, create a Valentine's MESSAGE THAT WHILE MEANT TO SEDUCE, DOES THE OPPOSITE. (Kinda like my Reasons for Celibacy, but with a Valentine's spin.)  You'll vote on the Winner, who will receive a generously sweet package. Must be a follower to enter. 
All entries should be submitted in comments section or to my email, Rawknrobyn@aol.com.
Must be RECEIVED BY SATURDAY, 2/9, midnight EST.

Ready, Set, Hate the Date!