May Pole Erotica!

Dear Silliest of Sillies,

It's May 1st, and you know what that means.

Yep, pause to smell a lovely rose today, and dance enthusiastically around a sturdy pole tonight.

Love ya, my silly ones.

King Charles III and his Side Dish, Katy Perry

Dear Sillies,

It's official. Katy Perry will perform for the royal coronation. King Charles really, really likes her. He'd appointed Katy to fulfill the role of British Asian Trust Ambassador. I know, right? So weird! 

Guess what! I invited this duo to our studio today, for highly enlightened discourse. They said, "Yep. Sure. We'll do anything together." Note that these are all actual quotes, excepting the last sentence. Enjoy. I mean, apologies.

Robyn: Audience, let's give a lukewarm welcome to the royal Charles and his royal British Asian side salad, Katy Perry!The curtain lifts, revealing Katy standing blatantly in front of Charles, his right hand suspiciously close to Katy's derriere. The room goes silent, as King Charles' escort service, I mean Camilla, the "King's consort", glares vindictively at Katy from front row, center. 

Charles III eyes Katy up and down: Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes.

Katy grabs her boobs gleefully and boasts: I went from zero to my own hero!

Charles III to Camilla: Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress? 

Katy: I have confidence because my research shows that I should just really trust my instincts. With that, Katy drops the curtain, and strangely animalistic barking noises ensue. Oh wait, that's Camilla. 

Robyn: Will the atrocity of British Royalty mixed with the dim-wittedness of Katy Perry, British Asian Ambassador, King Charles' side salad, continue to soil Queen Elizabeth's blessed memory? We can only hope...not.