graphics stolen from Google images
I challenged you to complete this statement in no more than 50 words: "Dear Cupid, Will you..."
Fourteen brave and creative souls participated. Only one will win the grand prize, chocolate and a copy of my book, Just the Right Time. It's up to YOU, dear readers, to decide who wins. I'll accept ballots through midnight WST, Feb. 13th. Secret ballots may be sent to my email. Otherwise, vote in the comments section. Candidates are allowed, and expected, to vote for themselves. But only once. All duplicate ballots, hanging chads and illegible entries will be sent to Florida. They like that stuff. Chocolate bribes accepted by the Elections Committee any time of the year.
In random order, here are your candidates:
1. Pat Tillett
said...Dear Stupid, will you...Oops! I'm sorry, I meant "Cupid." Every
year I hope to fall into a coma the day before Halloween and not wake up
until the day after your day. Oh yeah, I HATE roses sealed into acrylic
more than anything. Stupid dust catchers...
2. A Beer For The Shower
said...Dear Cupid, will you please remove this protruding arrow from my
chest? I know you're just trying to help, but now the woman I'm wooing
doesn't want to kiss me, she seems to think I need urgent medical
said...Dear Cupid, Will You pull out some cupid
magic to stop anybody from asking me what I'm doing this Valentine's
Day? From a guy who's beginning to sound a little jaded when he jokes
"I'm going on a date with my television" time and time again.
4. Empty Nest Insider
said...Dear Cupid, Will you keep your arrow in your quiver? Last year's love match made me shake and shiver.
Instead of fair-trade dark chocolates,
You sent me week old chopped liver.
5. Baby Sister
said...Dear Cupid, Will you please pierce Snooki and Justin with the
same arrow? That way they'll find love and then die immediately after.
That would be divine. Thank you.
6. Pat Hatt
said...Dear Cupid, will you take your arrow as you float around like a
sparrow and pull down your diaper putting it on your head, then to make
sure valentine's day is good and dead. Latch onto that arrow with such
class that you shove it up your ass.
7. Anthony J. Langford
said...Yo Cupid, Will you get it right? I live Down Under so you
mixed upside the head. You delivered the wrong one to me, so now I sleep
beneath the bed.
8. Powdered Toast Man
said...Dear Cupid, will you shoot Justin Bieber with an arrow so that it
either kills him or makes him fall in love with a horny porcupine.
9. Stephen Hayes
said...Dear Cupid, would you please put on some clothes, maybe some nice
red Underoos. You're suppose to be the god of love but seeing your
little pink body is a real distraction and a major turn off.
said...Dear Cupid, will you please explain how I got called ugly that
one time I took a guest tour at that blind school? Seriously that was
*real events may not have happened*
said...Dear Cupid: "Will you PLEASE give Robyn her dream date!!! For the love of chocolate, help her find the string cheese."
And to somewhat quote Tom Skerrit in Top Gun, "if you get to V-Day and need a date, give me a call, I'll be your Valentine ;)
said...Dear Cupid, Enough already. I get it. I'm un-cupid-able.
Now go away. Die a thousand deaths. But please leave some chocolate
for me. Help a sista out.
said...Dear Cupid. On a Midsummer's Eve, whilst dancing under blazing
trees, a man so fair of form you struck for me. And I for him did fall
so true, in love it seemed. For passions spent in a glen that night did
bring forth great delight. But gone, with suns rise.
****BALLOT ENDS HERE.**Thank you for exercising your right to vote. Have a nice day.