My Story, Yours Too.

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Public Disservice Announcement, What Can You Touch When You Can't Touch Your Face?


My Dear Sillies,
    I was losing my mojo and needed to do something extra silly. It's only slightly naughty but not really naughty at all. See, it's for your health and safety, my friends, that I made this very short video.
   Oh, that bone on my head? That's from my Halloween costume. For several years, I dressed as Pebbles Flintstone on Halloween. It doesn't seem to help me score much candy (or any Bam Bam either). But it meets my needs once in a while. ;-) I mean, for a video and well, stuff.
   In sum, sometimes the best we can do is to be our most silliest and weirdest of selves.
   So please keep doing that.  
   As you stay silly, my friends, stay safe and clean too (of body).
   Most importantly, stay loved.
   Because you are.



Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Life by Chocolate is 10+! US Censlus Report

Dear Sillies,
   As I was jogging earlier today, it dawned on me that I might have been blogging for a full decade. So I checked when I got home. Well, I was wrong. I've been blogging for over a full decade, 10.5 years! Hot damn!
   In honor of entry into the double-digits, I dug up this Censlus Post from 2010. Coincidentally, I mailed my Censlus report yesterday. (By the time they sent the fourth one, I caved.)
   Here's a flashback from 10 years ago. None of you had commented. I hadn't even yet met Alex. But I already thought this was a special place. I simply had no idea just how special it would grow to be, and for how long you'd continue to bring cheer and inspiration.
   Thank you for joining this wacky journey at Life by Chocolate, for whatever leg of the journey you've ridden.
   I appreciate you! More than that, I love you. You've kept me going, by giving me a guaranteed dose of sweetness. ALL THE TIME.  You are pure heart, soul, spunk, silliness and friendship.
   Be good to yourselves, and have some chocolate in honor of Life by Chocolate's 10+th Birthday!
 
from April, 2010, with 2020 updates highlighted:
Imagine having a job once every 10 years. That’s quite a hefty vacation plan. I can't let you slack too much, so I sent my US Censlus report in. I was quite disappointed that it only took me 10 seconds to complete. THIS YEAR (2020), IT TOOK 6 SECONDS. I GOT FASTER. All the practice exams and coaching, yet I didn’t even need to cheat. The Censlus Bureau informs that if you don’t mail it back, they will send a representative to your home. I thus devised a hand printed note on “Hello Kitty” stationery:  

Dear Censlus Person, Since you’ve got the time and my tax payer’s money to send workers to the doors of all the lazy ones, I’d like him – I mean, this person to be: Gender – Male; Age - 30’s; TEN YEARS OLDER NOW, OKAY, I'LL GO FOR MEN IN THEIR...30s. I THINK MY ORIGINAL WRITING IS MORE AUTHENTIC. NO NEED TO CHANGE THAT. NOTE: BERNIE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE. Marital Status - Single, OR WITH A PROGRESSIVE SPOUSE ; Ethnicity-Other, because we are all mutts (you idiots!).

On second thought, I decided they might not prioritize my requests. So I’ve stored the letter safely for the next 10 years. Maybe by 2020, I’ll have more faith that the government will care about my personal needs. HAHAHA, DID I WRITE THAT? OH, OUCH! IT'S A GOOD THING I WAS SO NAIVE! IGNORANCE WAS BLISS. WELL, TO BE TRUE TO MY WORD, I'M GOING TO MAIL MY REQUEST DIRECTLY TO CAPITAL HILL BEFORE THE USPS GOES UNDER BECAUSE, YEAH, GLOBAL PANDEMIC THING. BUT A GAL CAN STILL PINE FOR A HANDSOME MASKED MAN TO COME TO HER DOOR TO  COLLECT HER...DATA.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Chocolate Pudding Peeps Review

Dear Sillies,
   First off, why are Peeps called Peeps? They're weird little creepy looking marshmallow bunnies. 
   Second, I tried these Chocolate Pudding Peeps. I had to. It was Easter weekend AND Passover.

   Now let me tell you, Chocolate Pudding Peeps do taste a lot like chocolate pudding. They're a bit too sweet, though. That's really my only criticism. I like them. I ate them readily - ears first.

   Your turn, Sillies. Tell me your most vulnerable feelings related to Peeps. What do you love or hate about them and why? Hold nothing back. We're practically family (without any of the tensions or unwanted children).
   Bottom line: I'd give Chocolate Pudding Peeps a 7 on a 1 to 10 scale.

Stay safe and sweet, my Sillies.
Take care of yourselves.
I love you.
 

Monday, April 6, 2020

Sacred Zooming in The Bedroom: QuarantinErotica

Dearest Sillies,
It had been far too long since I'd written poetic erotica. 
What can I say? This isolation resurrected some of the ole naughty mojo. 
Please enjoy this one, and may you have a sacred Holy week.
Happy Passover! Happy Easter!
I love you and Bernie.