InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Thursday, November 10, 2022

Friends and Matthew Perry Wants a Girlfriend (Must be a 5'2" Brunette)

Dear Sillies,

Are you doing okay? I sure hope so.

Whatever your political views, we've had some exciting wins! Yippeeeee.

Halloween seems like ages ago. We had fun. JT and I won the vote (by me) for 

Couple Most Unlikely to Breed (Estelle Getty and Peter Pan).

                                                        Sorry for the bad lighting. You're better off, though.

Then there's Friend Matthew Perry. He was "meh" on Friends, right? Now, only 18 sketchy months into recovery, he's getting interviews galore and uproarious attention for his memoir. I'm furious! I mean, we work hard to write well, and some of us work hard to publish books that are pretty darn worthy. Next, there's bribery and begging of family members and loved ones to make that one small purchase. Yet they'll get the left over free copies during the holidays. Otherwise, what do we do with all the ones we've failed to sell? Where's the justice? Grrr!

To be fair, I didn't read it. Like I'm gonna pick up that ****! I did see some troubling interviews about it -- troubling because his speech is slurred and he's clearly not clearly recovered. For no apparent reason, he bashes Keanu Reeves in this book, and by "bashes" I mean that he wishes him dead. Shameful!

But let's have compassion, my dears. Mr. Matthew Perry needs a girlfriend. Here's one review:

This book is basically an ad for Matthew Perry to find a wife (you have to be 5’2 and brunette) so he can hurry up and have kids before he dies (even though he has screwed over everyone he has ever dated including Julia Roberts.) He whines about being an addict, brags about being famous, rich and SOOOO funny (that last one is debatable) and seems to have a strange Oedipus complex. He asks over and over in the book why his life was spared throughout his addiction and I don’t know the answer to that, but it certainly wasn’t to write this book. 

Don't waste your time, my friends, on this book, not that you were going to. You're too bright for that nonsense.

Love you.

32 comments:

  1. I never saw Friends. And certainly won't waste my precious reading time on this book. I am smiling at your Halloween photo though. Thank you.
    Stay well dear friend.

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  2. Hey, do have twenty bucks I could borrow? I'm thinking about buying a book I just heard about.

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    Replies
    1. Ha. Lemme check, nope. No money for ya, Mike.
      Love you, though.

      Delete
  3. Estelle Getty and Peter Pan -- BWAHAHAHAHA, BRILLIANT! Talk about one extreme to the other!

    And yeah, I wish Matthew Perry no ill, but clearly he needs to keep working those 12 steps. I thought his swipe at Keanu Reeves was pretty low class. And jeez, women of the world, do NOT hitch your wagon to Matthew Perry's star. You can do better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha. Thank you, Debra. I don't think Matthew's mastered step one. Yet he's on the way to selling a million copies. Life ain't fair. Even though his book's crap, it'd have been easier to post an add on Tinder, right?
      Smiles.

      Delete
  4. I watched Friends and thought he was funny but then forgot all about it. Yes, Britney Spears wrote a book and so did Vanna White and let’s not talk about 50 Shades of Crap. I bet she knew some moves to get her book published....bad...bad me. Why would he feel the need to bash Keanu? How do they even know each other? I hate the fact that he got the front cover of People Magazine ( I know, I am high) and not the great Angela Lansbury. I love that Peter Pan knows how to get into Estelle’s drawers.

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    Replies
    1. Haha. Right about all of it, Birgit. Perry is utterly forgettable. If he's jealous of Keanu, he should, I don't know, do something nice for the world. Peter Pan is pretty skilled indeed.

      Delete
  5. Estelle and Peter!!! What prize did you award yourself?

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  6. You two are quite the couple!
    Don't worry - I have no interest in what Perry has to say anyway.

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    Replies
    1. It's a good thing, Alex, because nothing he has to say is at all interesting.
      Thanks!

      Delete
  7. Those are some funny costumes, especially together.

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    Replies
    1. It was fun, Diane. We clearly did not try to coordinate. Smiles.

      Delete
  8. I never watched Friends and have no interest in Matthew Perry. I definitely have no interest in his interviews and book. Why has he gotten so much attention?

    Love,
    Janie

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  9. Love the costumes! A truly Odd Couple and much cuter than Matthew Perry in that pitiful sitcom remake of the same name. He doesn't interest me at all and what's up with trashing Keanu, who appears to be an exemplary human being? Life ain't fair and celebs get all the breaks, don't they? I understand your frustration, Robyn!

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    Replies
    1. High fives and cheers to us, Debbie. Thank you. Wish we could commiserate in real life, but this is second best.

      Delete
  10. When I saw your blog title on Geo.'s blogroll, I read "Must be a 52 (years) Brunette" and thought: Wow - that man knows exactly what he wants.
    Then I was enlightened by your hilarious "letter of warning" - and after doing the arithmetics and seeing the very petite sum of 1,5748 metres I lost the interest I never had in Mr. Matthew Perry, whom I had never heard of before - I am 1,78 m and blonde.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Britta, you dodged a bullet. Phew. Matthew Perry is a sloth and not at all worthy of your time or attention.
      Welcome to my blogland home, Britta. Delighted to see you here. Cheers.

      Delete
  11. Well....you can always save money by getting it from your public library. They love purchasing books "written" by celebs.

    And excellent costuming there.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, GB.
      Yeah no thanks. They couldn't PAY ME to read that ****.
      Cheers.

      Delete
  12. Great costume. You could have stopped right there and had a hit post. No need to even give Matthew Perry any air.
    And yes, we survived midterms, though nothing changes in TX (ugh, big sigh). Carry on my friend and have a great November.

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    Replies
    1. Texas: Where everything's big except change. Sorry, Joanne. Better you than me. I'd be a wreck on the daily over there.

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  13. On our way to Rhode Island last week, my girlfriend put on a Matthew Perry interview. It was painful.

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    Replies
    1. Oy vey, I'm sorry, Al. He IS painful, such a mess. And not at all hot either.

      Delete
  14. I didn't read it either. I really don't care what celebrities have to say.

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  15. I refuse to read memoirs of celebrities. I don't have the time and can care even less. But I love your final line about how he wonder's why he survived, and you said it wasn't to write this book. That's good. Maybe he survived to torment us for being so bad.

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