My Story, Yours Too.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Special Report & Friday Follow: The Coconut M&M

RawknRobyn (RR): Ladies and Gentlemen, Pirates and Atheists, I am somewhat thrilled to bring back to our studio the blogosphere’s one and only Powdered Toast Man! Please take a seat, ladies. You too, PTM. You can let them sign your chest later.

RR: It’s good to see you again, Mr. Powdered Toast. I must say that even before you reviewed the pretzel m&m, you were clearly excited up about the mere concept of the coconut m&m. In fact, your enthusiasm seemed rather unnatural. How do you explain this, and –the question we’ve all been dying to know: Do you have a fetish for coconuts?

Powdered Toast Man (PTM): I am addicted to coconut; it is like my crack or chocolate for you. I would inject coconut intravenously if I could figure out how. Is it a fetish if I smother Nicole in Coconut Crème Pie every other day?

RR: I’m not an expert in the field, not quite yet. I am, however, currently working on my Ph.D. in Coconut Fetishes and Those Who Love Those Who Have Them. Thus, I can say quite confidentially – I mean confidently- that you are at high risk of a Coconut Fetish Disorder. (PTM nods, grateful to have gained such insight into his problems.)

RR: Tell me, how would you describe the coconut m&m? Please keep your answer limited to 17 words or less. Budget cuts and all.

PTM: I only need one word to describe the coconut m&m and that word would have to be........
RR: (Looking at her fingers, having counted 17 of them somehow) So close! Tell us, what are the positive attributes of the coconut m&m?

PTM: - They cured my Polio.
- I gave some to the monster in my closet, and he promised not to scare me for a week.
- A tasty alternative to Viagra
- They are pre-husked unlike actual coconuts.
- They don't taste like chicken.

RR (looking excited, and ready to give PTM a high-five): You’re right! They do taste better than Viagra! –High five happens at this juncture- I finally found someone who agrees with me on that. Tell us, what are its flaws?

PTM: - These ones don't talk like in the commercials.
- They do not cure Rubella or the Mumps.
- The gas station won't let me pay for my gas in coconut m&m's, even though I paid my cell phone bill with them.
- Do not make mac & cheese with them.
- They do not make a good suppository.

RR (nodding in affirmation, with a somber expression, almost tearful): Yes, Viagra is better for that, I must say. I’m not a big fan of the coconut, but we all know how I feel about chocolate. Do you recommend the coconut m&m for folks like me?

PTM (looking highly puzzled) How can you not like coconut? Coconut and chocolate go together like lamb and tuna fish. What, lamb and tuna aren't a good combo? Who are you to say what tastes good together?...... Oh, so as camera-man #3 you have a degree in culinary arts?..... Oh, you do. Where did you attend?..... You don't say, that is a really good school. So how did you become a camera-man then?..... I see, sorry to hear that. Those bear traps can be quite tricky. I'll give you my # after the interview, we can have lunch. Do you like Chuck E Cheese?

RR (Red faced, she looks at Camera-man #3, unbuttons her top button and sticks her chest out towards him.): What’s going on? I was supposed to get a Big Mac tonight!

Camera-man #3 is now attempting to write his phone number on PTM’s chest. Audience says, in unison: “Ooohh!” RR drop kicks the Camera-man through the big glass window – Audience says, in unison: “AAhhh!”, and the interview continues as if nothing just happened.

RR: Between the pretzel and the coconut m&m, which is your preference, and why?

PTM: Definitely the coconut ones by far. The pretzel ones didn't quite taste what I thought they would taste like. I didn't notice when I ate them but a lot of other people say that the pretzels taste stale. Also I wasn't chased or kidnapped by pirates this time around. I still have rope burns on my inner thighs from being tied up.

RR: Will you incorporate the coconut m&m in any part of your upcoming wedding festivities?

PTM: Nicole's engagement and wedding ring are 23% coconut. I purchased them together to save money and so they would match. I want my ring to be at least 35% coconut and 30% chocolate. We are also not having a traditional wedding. No dress or tuxedo. We are both going to wear giant m&m costumes. She, of course, will be wearing white and I will be wearing red. The bridesmaids are wearing licorice bikinis and the groomsmen are sporting fruit roll-up banana hammocks. We will make sure that there is no eating during the ceremony.

RR (Smiling and imagining this fantasy wedding, her face and the Camera-man’s superimposed on Gilligan and the Professor’s bodies. The Camera-man has a large scar from the drop kick): Oh, sorry, we’re just about out of time. Budget cuts and all.

RR: Thanks so much for this very entertaining and informative interview, Powdered Toast Man. Congratulations on your growing following that has hit the 3-digits, too. Plus, we're all looking forward to celebrating your blogiversary with coconut m&m's.

RR and PTM shake hands. Lights fade. The last two camera men run scared. The audience continues to give a standing ovation for hours.


  1. I have a total love for coconut and chocolate bars and NEEDED to have one each morning break when I was teaching or I would get the shakes. Very funny interview. If only you were made of coconut with chocolate boobies, you would not be alone to this day.

  2. OMG, that was hilarious! I'm so glad I wasn't drinking any coffee when I read it :0)

    Coconut and chocolate, two of my favorite superfoods - woohoo! Great post.

  3. Although I have actually taken coconut into my veins (long story, but it involves some bad mushrooms, a tube and a night in a Hawaii hospital), I must say they do sound delicious.

    BUT nothing, and I mean nothing will ever beat the peanut butter M&M. Ever.

  4. I'm a coconut person.
    But, I prefer it in pastries and deepfired shrimp... oh yeah!

    great interview!

  5. Coconut M&M's?!!! Are you serious?!! I've never heard of such a thing. You're pulling my leg, right?

    P.S. RR, how do you know what Viagra tastes like?! *gulp*

  6. The coconut/chocolate thing is old hat. The Bounty Bar was introduced in 1951 and its TV commercials featured a woman in a bikini paddling in the sea while fantasizing about getting ravished by a dolphin.

  7. This was hilarious. That Powdered Toast Man is one funny dude.

    Oh yeah, Robyn is pretty awesome too. :-)

  8. This was hilarious. I knew the monster in closets loved coconuts. I'm so glad for PTM that the monster won't be scaring him for a week. That's a great deal. BTW, how about the monsters under the bed?

  9. So, I can't do the coconut thing..makes me gag just thinking about it, but hilarious!

  10. I do have to agree with Cheeseboy about the Peanut Butter M&M. That is heaven in an M&M. However, I have wanted to try the looks likeable.
    Thanks for this! It was a great way to end an awful night!! :)

  11. Kal, that's where I erred. Thanks. xo

    Marnie, thanks. I'm glad I'm not drinking anything now. I'm still laughing myself at this weirdness. (-;

    CB, sorry the coconut didn't take to an IV. Better luck next time! xo

    Pat, coconut with deep fried shrimp - now that sounds yummy! Thanks. :0]

    Marlene, you mean you don't know what Viagra tastes like? How unusual. xo

    GB, I have those fantasies, but they are not induced by Bounty Bars. (Snickers or Milky Way.) [-:

    PTM, I agree. These two are well worth the price of admission. They are utterly nuts. xo

    MrS, I don't know. Perhaps I'll have to bring him back to address that very question. Have a good weekend. ;0}

    TheNinja, I actually agree - mostly. Some forms of coconut I can tolerate, and the m&m's are so sweet that they aren't bad. xo

    BabySis, thank you. I'm glad to help you laugh when you needed to. I haven't tried the peanut m&m. I hear they are God's favorite. ;0b

    Chocolate coconut kisses,

  12. Coconut has the same reason as Cherries as to why I don't like either one.

    It's the 'texture'.

    The wife loves her some coconut.

  13. I really enjoyed this info. I was using the coconut M&M's as a suppository and was not fully satisfied with the results. Now I use the "Hugs and Kisses" series of Hershey kisses. I feel loved each time.

    You guys make my nose like a soda fountain, only with orange juice...(ouch)

  14. I can't wait to try!!
    I am now following you through
    Follow Friday 40+!!
    Peggy Gorman

  15. Coconut M&M's! Another epicurean fantasy become reality! I can't wait to try them! I actually tried my first pretzel M&M's today and I really liked the salty-sweet combination. (Now I see what you women have been enjoying all these years!) Another hilarious interview with PTM, Robyn! Great job!

  16. You two are just a perfect pair for comedy. Seriously funny.

    I might have to try them. I loves me the coconut.

  17. Hahaha absolutely wonderful interview , you two make quite the comedic Duo.

  18. Blase, and I'm sure you love the wife's coconuts. It's all about texture. xo

    TIS, I'm glad you switched to the hugs & kisses series. They do go down (or up) easier. As far as the soda fountain image - well - sorry about that, but it is cute. :O)

    Peggy, thanks! Let me know how you like them. I'm happy to follow you too. xo

    T-Go, thanks. Yes, it's that salty, sweet combo (kind of a: "Let me close my eyes and pretend this tastes chocolaty" thing) that keeps us women going. (-;

    TS, keep us posted on how you like 'em. Thanks. We think we're a perfect duo too. Don't tell him, though, but my CPA suggests another partner. PTM's rates have increased to $.03 per word. With studio rental fees, I'm out $100 per word. I'm not sure if I'm getting a good deal or not. xo

    Nippy, so great to see you here. Thanks! We try. Well, scary part is, we don't try too hard. I think we're both just naturally bizarro. =D

    xoCoconut Chocolate kisses,

  19. Coconut M&M's! Guess I have to wander over the border after exams... ummmm

  20. Mounds bars are classic choc-and-coconut combination, right? I know an older lady who used to give them up for Lent--she thought they were so good, they must be carnal!

  21. Baygirl, be careful. We don't take border crossing lightly in this country, but you've got a darn good reason. xo

    Marg, that is cute and funny. I hope the lady didn't go into withdrawals. Yes, I'm pretty sure you're right about Mounds bars. :0)

    Chocolate coconut kisses,

  22. Chocolate and coconut are a perfect combination.
    We only have milk chocolate and peanut M&M’s in the Netherlands. Not fair.
    But we do have Bounty chocolate bars. It has a coconut filling covered with milk chocolate. Yummy!

  23. Once again it made you laugh… well maybe rather give an eye roll instead. Coconut M&Ms? Nasty. Peanut M&Ms? Rock on!

  24. I wish i liked coconut-it freaks me out so!

  25. coconut in most things is taste. enjoy.

  26. Very good interview and very timely. I had a friend call me the other night all excited about these M & M's!!

    Love Powdered Toast Man!

  27. I got to try some! (pssst, Robyn! Viagra is for men. Girls are not supposed to eat them.)

  28. DDG, the Netherlands has the Dutch Donut Girl, so I think it's fair. Bounty bars sound really good. xo

    Teachinfourth, I actually think the coconut m&m's are too sweet, and I have a sweet tooth. Peanut ones, okay. Thanks! ;-}

    Sadako, thanks for coming by! Yeah, I'm not a coconut fan either. xo

    Rose, thanks. I'm picky regarding coconut. Some forms (eg coconut juice), I like. Others, not so much. <-;

    BB, that's funny that your friend called you about this. Is your friend also named Powdered Toast Man? Regardless, I love him too. xo

    Sarah, you always make me laugh. You are such a good friend to point this out to me privately, too. But, I didn't comes in a nice little package and looks like candy. It doesn't taste bad either. Plus, I really don't want to go food shopping! This is not to mention the bodily effects. Don't get me started on that one! ;o]

    xoChocolate coconut kisses,

  29. You are so darn funny! You should have your own show! I laughed out loud at this one!

  30. Coconut M&Ms??? OMG! Where have I been?