Sneak Peek Series: Creature Feature

Dearest Silliest of Sillies,
   I was working on something. And while working on that something I hopped onto a twisted road to work on another something. This zany detour is thanks to friend and phenomenal artist, Steve Ferchaud.

   Hint 1: It's for mature children and immature adults. 

   Release date is TBD and soon-ish. 

   For now, please play along with this Sneak Peek Series Game. 

The person with the most correct answers will get a free autographed copy. I'll refrain from stating whether you're right or wrong, until we get to the end.  It's okay if more than one of you are correct. But the first who's right, gets an extra-credit point. [Apologies to the very few people who can't play along, because you already know the particulars.]

Question (1) What creature is this?

Question (2) Where is this creature?
and/or What is this creature doing?
















Artwork by Steve Ferchaud, with his permission to post but no permission to copy, steal, replicate and/or blah blah blah. Thanks. =)


Have an uplifting week, dears, as April spins into May.
Be good to yourselves.

Desperately Seeking

My Dear Sillies,
   Rest assured, you need not invest any effort into finding your soulmate. They will find you!
   This fine gentleman, Welton Carthen, found...not me (I never have such luck), but my and our dear friend, Alex J. Cavanaugh. Yeah, he follows Alex. We can't fault his taste. He wants the best.
   Thanks for sharing him with me, Alex. Not that way. Sheesh, people. Alex and Mrs. Ninja are doing just fine. As for Welton and I, well, things were getting serious until I was distracted by a young Russian beauty.

@welton_carthen I am a single man and not married I am looking for a good woman to spend the rest of my life with ,let talk So has to get to know more about each other

Desperate Russian Girls Looking for Dates To: You

You're looking for me, sweetie? Because I was kinda getting serious with Welton. I see that you wrote to ME, though. YES!! And you're only 29, honey. And you live only 12 km from "the city." Really, Marina? You're 12 km from Chico? That's amazing! Wait, you're 176cm in height? Oooh, I'm afraid I, uh, I'm intimidated. But surely, someone like you is desperate. The struggle is real, isn't it? May this free advertising help! Don't worry. It'll happen some day, babe. That's what they keep telling me. Not everyone is focused on looks. Some people like thick, black eyebrows too. *blowing her a kiss.*

Martha Stewart Returns to Speak on Irrelevance

Robyn: Ladies and Gentlemen,
Start spreadin' the newwwws! a (semi) manly bare-chested Martha blasts onto our stage, flailing and kicking dramatically, as she belts out  I'm leavin' today! I want to-- Robyn: Martha! Stop! Shush! Martha, determined to finish, skips to her grand finale: New York! New-eww-ewww, YORK!!! She extends her arms to her sides and bows repeatedly for the (non existing) audience. Robyn: You've totally lost it, lady! We had a beautiful break from you---  Martha: Oh what a beautiful mooorrrning! Oh what a beautiful--- STOP! Robyn screams. QUIET! Martha stops, insulted. Well, someone hasn't gotten any in a long, long time. And I know long. I used to date Anthony Hopkins,* you know. (*True story - they lasted one year.) Robyn: Talk about scary.  For him. Look, here's the thing, woman. You're completely irrelevant. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is paying attention to you anymore. You mean nothing. How are you dealing with this vast amount of irrelevance, Martie? Martha: It's simple really. Martha smiles. Now, I've never had irregulations myself. But the best measure is to pluck a handful of nice, juicy prunes from your fresh spring garden. Oh how I miss the prison's garden! -Sigh- Slice them babies up into bite-sized pieces, and add them to my specialty salad - with a fistful of robust pine nuts and a squirt of light vinaigrette. Grope the salad with both hands to squeeze out the flowing liquid and -- Martha unleashes an excited exhale, then wipes a bead of sweat from her brow -- Oh where is my carrot? Robyn: Leave! Now! Crazy b*tch!   Robyn then turns to the camera and addresses the home viewers. I'm very sorry for these zany antics, my friends.  
Please have a safe and pleasant week. 
Keep a smile and stay silly!
You are relevant.   

 
 

Reasons for Celibacy, #18-23

My Dears,
   Sorry I've been gone for a bit. Lots going on - mostly good, the rest manageable. The good stuff, I'll report to you when time is right and fairly soon.
   How are you doing?
   Laughter is always needed. I hope to provide. That said, I now present reasons 18-23 for a celibate existence. These are, as usual, lifted directly from on-line ads and embellished by my snark.
   Keep a smile and some good chocolate handy.
   Love ya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

REASON 18: I like to go to the movies rock concerts. You mean, like the Flintstones? Do you drive with your bare feet on the road too? I like the little things in lif  Is lif the medication you’re taking?  I suggest an increased dosage. It might help you focus enough to find spellcheck.

REASON #19: I like big butts. I cannot lie. The other brothers try and deny but when a pretty female walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face, you know what happens. If this made you laugh then I am the guy for you, because that is exactly what I love doing. Making people laugh. You’ve got some work ahead of you, sweetheart.

REASON #20: Me Man You Woman Headline need help, Tarzan.

REASON #21: We love Zeppelin, and great food, and real literature. My wife wants a threesome. That sounds great to me! Can't wait to try. Let's talk about it. She is looking for a very specific sort of girl. We hope you are it. I’m appalled. You mention Zeppelin and “real literature” in the same sentence! What kind of gal do you think I am?

REASON #22: Intelligent, articulate, chivalrous, romantic, very passionate, open minded, dominant but never domineering and sensual. Great kisser (I practice a lot when I am alone!). Hint: I wouldn’t publicize this… I only want to have to carry you part of the time! I don’t want your hands on me any of the time!

REASON #23: Looking For a Friend First I want to meet a women that wants to make a commitment to spend the rest of are life's together. Sounds like (you’re) an oxymoron. 

For fun, I entered a Peep Diorama contest. I didn't win, but I'm quite certain Gumby had a great time. (Hint: See lower left side of photo.)

                                                                Flo's Peep Show

The Holy Trinity: Robyn, Bernie, and the Pope

Happy Easter.

I'm spending my day with (my) Bernie...Alright, I confess, that was a poor attempt at an April Fool's Day joke. Don't fall for any of those. You won't; you're too smart for that. (I always do, though.)

Be well, Silliest of the most Silly.