We
can't ignore it any longer. Chocolate prices started skyrocketing on New
Year's Day, and stores are full of mini "I Can't Get Enuf of U" nighties sported by
stuffed animals so hideous looking it's difficult to decipher if they're
unicorns or armadillos. Clearly I have issues. I also hate February 14th.
So I've decided to channel my V-Day venom into a noble cause: a GIVEAWAY. The winner will receive some chocolate plus an autographed copy of my book, Just the Right Time. [If the winner is one of the wonderful few who already purchased the book, they'll get another fun little book instead. Plus chocolate.]
YOU, dear readers, will vote on the best Anti-Valentine's Day entry.
I'll compile your contributions into one lovely post and announce the winner on CHOCOLATE DAY (2/14).
Have at it, have fun, and enjoy fair-trade chocolate (please, anything but Hershey's -- the most corrupt and evil chocolate corporation in the world) every day of the year!
I'm going to give this some thought and hold fire on writing for now since it'd sound like a sad and depressing rant but I love this competition, Valentine's Day sucks, I despise it haha.
ReplyDeleteCrap, I'm going to have to give it some thought. And of course, I already own your book!!
ReplyDeleteHmm, does Cupid take requests from mere mortals? I'd ask him to put some pants on and take up a safer sport than archery.
ReplyDeleteDear Cupid, will you take your arrow as you float around like a sparrow and pull down your diaper putting it on your head, then to make sure valentine's day is good and dead. Latch onto that arrow with such class that you shove it up your ass.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to group in with the folks giving this one some thought- love this idea and competition!
ReplyDeleteDear Cupid, would you please put on some clothes, maybe some nice red Underoos. You're suppose to be the god of love but seeing your little pink body is a real distraction and a major turn off.
ReplyDeleteDear Cupid, will you please explain how I got called ugly that one time I took a guest tour at that blind school? Seriously that was cold.
ReplyDelete*real events may not have happened*
Dear Cupid,
ReplyDeleteEnough already. I get it. I'm un-cupid-able. Now go away. Die a thousand deaths. But please leave some chocolate for me. Help a sista out.
Love,
-me.
I love you people. I'm laughing a lot at the entries. THANK YOU, Pat, Stephen, Adam, and Yvonne. GREAT JOB! I can't wait to see more.
ReplyDeleteYW, you and me both. And we're clearly not the only ones.
Alex, yes, you were one of the first to purchase it. I appreciate you for that and many other things. I'll find another book on Amazon for you if you take the prize.
GB, I like that request. You should revise the wording slightly and enter it.
Lexie, great. I hope to see you back here soon.
xoxoRobyn
Dear Cupid. On a Midsummer's Eve, whilst dancing under blazing trees, a man so fair of form you struck for me. And I for him did fall so true, in love it seemed. For passions spent in a glen that night did bring forth great delight. But gone, with suns rise.
ReplyDeleteDear Cupid: "Will you PLEASE give Robyn her dream date!!! For the love of chocolate, help her find the string cheese."
ReplyDeleteAnd to somewhat quote Tom Skerrit in Top Gun, "if you get to V-Day and need a date, give me a call, I'll be your Valentine ;)
Chuck, the other contestants are lucky I'm not the judge. You'd be the clear winner. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAnne, you're very poetic, even with a sobering ending. Thanks for entering.
xoRobyn
Dear Cupid, will you shoot Justin Bieber with an arrow so that it either kills him or makes him fall in love with a horny porcupine.
ReplyDeleteBloody hell, I forgot to put the form right. Dear Cupid will you....
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when a woman gets past the age of fifty. The bum and the brain are the first to go.
This is such a fun idea Robyn. I'll try to come up with something soon, but these will be tough acts to follow.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Dear Cupid, will you please remove this protruding arrow from my chest? I know you're just trying to help, but now the woman I'm wooing doesn't want to kiss me, she seems to think I need urgent medical attention.
ReplyDeleteDear Cupid,
ReplyDeleteWill you please pierce Snooki and Justin with the same arrow? That way they'll find love and then die immediately after. That would be divine. Thank you.