Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Kim Kardashian Visits Life by Chocolate: IWSG


Sometimes insecurities wreak havoc with the creative process. Because of this, Alex J. Cavanaugh  founded the blogosphere's one-and-only Insecure Writer’s Support Group. We’re posting monthly, exposing our vulnerabilities and/or offering support to one another. Please check out Alex’s blog to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of kindhearted bloggers/writers and great people.  Join us, if you haven't already! All that's required is an insecurity or two hundred.
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Robyn: Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from somewhere expensive, Kim Kardashian is here. So sorry. I mean, let's welcome her.

Kim struts to the center of the stage, flinging her hair back, and takes a seat.

Robyn: Thanks for joining us, Kim. I know you have a lot of work to do, pretending to work and all. You write a lot too, if tweeting counts. I'll start by saying I didn't invite you here because I respect you. Quite the opposite. I asked you here because you have no insecurities, and no talent, brains or moral fiber. How do you do it? I mean, I'm slammed by insecurities. But I've more to offer than you. We all do.

Kim pulls her Kardashian compact out of her Kardashian handbag and reapplies her Kardashian mascara. Her Kardashian phone rings. She takes the call. "Uh huh, hm mm, seriously! I'll tell her." She puts her K. phone back in her K. handbag. "Kanye says he's going to *bleep* your *bleepin* *bleep* for being a *bleepin* *bleep*!"

Robyn: Sweetie, from him, that's a compliment. What I was saying is that you're a fine example of what it takes: selfishness, and being born into billions, and making sex videos. I figure I have the best odds with the selfishness angle. Can you give me some pointers?

Kim: Are you serious? She rolls her eyes. I don't even like shellfish.

Robyn: That says it all.

Kim flings her hair back and struts off stage. The cameraman zooms in on her backside, but his wide angle lens isn't wide enough, so he turns back to Robyn.

Robyn: To all insecure writers and people everywhere, if she can have that kind of confidence, we can and should have a lot more. Believe it. Believe in you. Know that talent, brains, and values matter. Keep faith, and persist in tilting the world towards substance and quality. We need your gifts now more than ever.

Thanks for visiting!

PS This post wasn't meant to insult anyone it wasn't meant to insult. Wink.


29 comments:

  1. Hahaha!! I loved this!! So hilarious, and you brought up a very good point. If someone like her can have confidence, then the rest of us should be able to.

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  2. I don't get the whole "K. Kraze".

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  3. Just don't get the Kardashians. They seem to have gotten famous for bad behavior.

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  4. I love this! It made me laugh which is just what I need after posting my insecurity this month.:)

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  5. So funny. Your interviews always crack me up. So, so clever.

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  6. Ah, she makes sex videos! I've been wondering what work this woman does in show business and finally someone's told me. Does she have a catch phrase?

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  7. This is probably my favourite Insecure Writers Support Group post ever Robyn. I'm not a huge fan of Kim Kardashian myself because she doesn't really work, she's not really famous for anything except for whoring herself into a sex tape and the huge amount of fame that her and her family have accrued of that is just ridiculous. I genuinely could imagine her behaving like this if you interviewed her too which makes it so much better and realistic, great post Robyn, love it.

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  8. That is awesome, Robyn! Now that the IWSG has been around for a year, I need to start handing out awards - and you'd score funniest for sure.

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  9. LOL! I love this! (Though I've never watched a K episode.)*GIANT HUG* for writing such a great post :) I LOVE IWSG time!

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  10. Babysis, thank you. Yes. Be confident!

    MsA, it's a sad phenomenon.

    Stephen, exactly.

    Melissa and MJ, thanks, ladies. I'm so glad to bring you laugther. I'll drop by asap.

    GB, that's how she got famous. Now there's rumours her mom produced the videos. Lovely.

    YM, thanks so much. You're awesome.

    Alex, I'm honored.

    Raven, good for you for never watching. GIANT HUG back. It's fun to make fun of her and her family.

    Be well and confident, friends.
    xoRobyn

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  11. haha well I don't like shellfish either, damn I should have lots of money by now then haha

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  12. So funny, thank you!

    Narcissism, nepotism, notoriety...the three N's of success.

    WOW! How does she do it?

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  13. I don't think the Kardashians are all that crazy or bad enough to be interesting, but for some inexplicable reason they are Huge.

    Great interview.

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  14. LOL! She's not as bad as Paris Hilton, but close.

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  15. O M G!!! You are just as funny as I remember you to be, way back when we were actually regularly reading each other's blogs! I may just have to read you EVERY WEEK!!!

    xoxoxoxoxo

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  16. You are hilarious!
    Thanks for the giggles! :D

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  17. She was born into millions? That must mean her boyfriends come into millions.

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  18. It's amazing what a sex tape can do for your career - however, wherever I post mine, it gets deleted.
    Do I need breasts?

    Offend more! They can handle it!

    Nice work Robyn.
    x

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  19. From her " Kardashian handbag" down to her "Kardashian mascara" this post was chock full of laughs! Of course the wide angle lens not being able to provide ample coverage was an added bonus! Julie

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  20. Nothing like being famous just for being famous.

    You are wayyyy cooler than K.

    Just so you know.

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  21. Pat, and that you should. Life isn't fair.

    Yolanda, thanks! I'd be happy with just one of the three Ns. I think she does it with No scruples.

    Isis, and their fame keeps growing. Thanks for commenting.

    L. Diane, Paris who? J/K. At least Paris isn't in the spotlight anymore.

    Judie, how I've missed you. Thanks for stopping by and laughing. Hugs to you.

    Jackie, thank YOU. I appreciate it.

    Al, yeah, that sounds pretty messy.

    Anthony, sorry yours get deleted. Yeah, you need breasts, big ones too.

    EmptyNest, I'm so glad you like it. Thank you.

    Jenny, you are a peach yourself. Hugs to you.

    xoRobyn

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  22. oh my gosh, you're hilarious.
    thanks for the laughs!
    and for this quirky post.
    you're an endless source of good humour, you're genius. just so you know.
    have a great weekend.
    big hugs!
    xx

    p.s. i'm back and healed. yaay!

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  23. Hey there Sassy Lady!
    I see you still got it going on!!!!

    Thanks for the laughs and the encouragement!

    You Rock!!!
    Mwah
    gi gi

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  24. That is hilarious! I was laughing all the way through. I'll have to stop in more often to see who else shows up.

    (late posting from a IWSG member)

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  25. Kudos! In the world of everything going green is there any part of Kim that is real? Miss ya sweetie!~Ames

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