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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reason #23, aka Dweebs and Chemistry

My date-free streak ended yesterday. My celibacy-streak did not. My confusion – well- don’t get me started. You do know what a "dweeb" is. Yes? Good, no definition necessary. As far as "chemistry.." Well, perhaps you can explain this one to me.

We met at a local café. He paid for my lemonade, after proclaiming with clarity and proud emphasis, “I’ve got it.” “Yes, dude. You got it. Surely, the $1.50 won’t suck you into bankruptcy,” I thought, feigning gratitude for his glorious generosity, with my charming smile.

We sat down, and he complimented my appearance. He gazed at me, mesmerized, resting his head on his hand and tripping over his words. It might have been cute if it weren’t so damn irritating. I mean, come on. It’s not like I’m Angelina Jolie. (I don’t have a dozen or so adopted kids!)

Next, we took a short walk. All the while, I was thinking: He’s a dweeb. He likes me. So it goes. Sometimes. Once per decade or so. The lemonade was alright. Will Jennifer Aniston have a baby? Who'll win the world series? What sports season are we onto anyway? Why do you care? I don't. So why do you ask? Oh, just quit bugging me!..
The awkward “goodbye” involved awkwardness. He didn’t suggest another date. We exchanged a quick platonic hug. Trying to salvage that minuscule fragment of my ego, I figured he got nervous. He surely wanted to see me again. Did I want to see him again? I didn’t know. He’s a dweeb. But desperate times and warm weather make dweebs look pretty hot, I tell ya. It really is all about my ego shards, anyway. He was supposed to jump on me. I mean, jump on the opportunity to date me. After all, he’s a dweeb, and I’m, well, not Angelina Jolie.

Thus, I decided to email him and suggest another date. As I went on-line, I saw his message: “..HOWEVER (Note that a person doesn’t read anything preceding the words ‘but,’ ‘however,’ ‘henceforth, ‘heretofore,’ or ‘Did Ashton really cheat on Demi?’), I don’t think we’re a match for each other..The chemistry wasn’t right.”

What a dweeb.

Perplexed, humbled, and wondering if Ashton really did cheat on Demi, I choose celibacy.


  1. C'mon even nerds need love. I myself am a card carrying dork so I can totally relate. BTW...I bet the guy was totally passionate about chocolate if you had just taken the time to get to know him. ;)

  2. I am glad I am never going to date again as long as I live.

  3. Looking on the bright side, if you need to write a pilot for a new comedy show you've someone to base one of the characters on.

  4. Bugger. If you go on a second date I bet you'll have tons of new material for the blog. But your time is best spent with someone who's a non-dweeb. Next!

  5. Well, it sounds like a start. The first one in a while is always the worst. Or so I have heard. It's been a long time.

    You deserve better than a dweeb though. At least aim for a dweeb with tattoos.

  6. At least he wasn't terrible. Or creepy. So the chemistry isn't right - that's a PERFECTLY good reason to not see someone again, even if he said it first. It's better than the "oh, but I LOVE you!" after a first date when you didn't feel ANYTHING :D

    PS, I think I just got a permanent rejection by a comment up there. Ouch.

    PPS - my capcha is "messup" How perfect is THAT?!

  7. He feels more at home with dweebetts... you're cool like school :0D What you want is someone who can make you laugh...not at them ;0)

    Ohhh, my word verification says "clasha" - truth to what I say :0)

  8. This is awesome! Another stinker out of the way opening the path to Mr. Right.

  9. How did he get by your intense screening program in the first place? I can't blieved he turned YOU down. YOU are Chocolite Robyn. I would totally do you and like the frozen rabbbit same the rest of the parts in the freezer till I has that Robyn Chocolate cravin again. Some women just don't like to be romanced.

  10. I've known several dweebs in my life....some of whom turned out to be pretty darned sweet people. (We won't mention the others).

  11. CB, actually, he thought it was weird that I put chocolate syrup on yogurt. What's weird about that? xo

    OT, I'm glad too. For you, that is. :0)

    GB, true, and that job's just around the corner. (Not sure who's corner, but it is right there!) xo PS I appreciate that you ALWAYS leave a comment! xo

    Sarah, that is why I go through this. I could always use the stories. Maybe I should write a movie script, in fact: Meet the Fodders! Hey, thanks for the inspiration. :-b

    Cheeseboy. Thanks. You are sweet. A dweeb with tatoos could be interesting - especially if those tatoos read "Dweeb." xo

    Miley, yeah, it could've been a lot worse. What? Did one of my followers slam you? Are you saying that you're a dweeb with a tatoo? Regardless, I love ya. We all do. Love the appropriate capcha. <-;

    Marnie, you're awesome. Thanks. Clasha is classic. xo

    Marla, thanks for being one of my best fans. I appreciate you. ;0p

    Kal, OMG, you always do it for me, babe. Thanks for the laughs! xo

    Marlene, true, some dweebs are sweet and the rest, well, !@#$ *&**@!FS! d-;


  12. This is why I hate dating. least you ARE dating...right? More fun stories for the blog!! :D

  13. Watch out! Nerds will rule the world!

    Plus Big Bang Theory is Awesome.

  14. I think he was intimidated by your slick, sophisticated City Girl moves.

  15. He probably would have made you dress up as Luke Skywalker or Darth Vader and have kinky star wars sex.

  16. there goes the whole idea of living vacariously through you! sheesh

  17. hahaha.
    oh dear.

    dweeeb indeed.

  18. The only chemistry missing there was a block of PE4! Up His u know what!

  19. I really do hope you get the job and the guy of your dreams. It's all a matter of time and timing...
    great and funny post...

  20. BabySis, I think I'll dig up more stories without going thru the actual misery from here on out. Thanks. xo

    AlphaZa, nerds should rule the world, just not the ones I've dated. ;0)

    BB, LOL. Cute. I think you must be right, I say, as I swing back my hair and place my Gucci purse down (as if I've ever owned anything with a precious label). xo

    PTM, you're probably right. You always are probably right, after all. But is that supposed to make me feel better? ;0}

    Baygirl, I know. Others have tried to, before they realized one must be careful what one wishes for. xo

    Margg, dweeb indeed. I like it's. It's poetic. Thanks hon. [-:

    Wreckless, what a pal. Thanks for your enthusiasm (to put it nicely) on my behalf. xo

    Gayle, thanks! ;-D