My Story, Yours Too.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Sex On The Beach, On The Floor: I Can't Hold My Alcohol, Part III.

The three-marriage factor didn’t faze me. In fact, it didn’t even register at the time. All that paraded through my brain then was: “hot,” “He is,” “fun,” “have some,” and “Good Lord, I’d just experienced the utter embarrassment of clumsily crashing my Sex On The Beach on the floor and wanting to crawl into a hole far, far removed from this bar and Mr. Baldy, when Jake appeared like my knight in shining armor.”

Sexual tensions heated en route to his place, so I cracked the car window a bit.

“Oh great,” he said, struck by a sudden realization as I turned onto East Avenue, “you’re going to write a poem about us.”

I laughed. “No, don’t worry. I don’t write poems about the men I meet.” You’ll just end up in a blog post. Eventually, they all do. Stopped at a red light, I offered him a reassuring grin and pat on the thigh.

Finally, we arrived. Jake's place was your typical sparse bachelor pad: one football poster on the wall, three books on a solo bookshelf, and a few empty beer bottles by the fridge.

“What kind of music do you like?” he asked, while helping me waggle out of my jacket.

“I’m good with almost anything, just no rap or heavy stuff.”

Jake maneuvered his MP3 (or whatever it was) and Adele’s raspy, sultry voice set the mood with Someone Like You.

He grasped the bottom of his shirt and abruptly pulled it up and over his head, tossing it onto the floor. “I just like to take my shirt off when I get home,” he explained.

Okay, that wasn’t too obvious! Never saw that move before. I didn’t mind too much, though. His chest looked edible.

We sat close on his plush dark couch, talked a bit more about work, life in Chico, and other random topics.

“I can’t believe we met tonight," I said. "I mean, I wasn’t going to go. I hate the bar scene, and then I spilled my drink and all.”

“Oh, that was you?”

Crap. I didn’t have to tell him?! Robyn, you, me, and I, we all tend to talk too much.

He reached over and gently ran his fingers through my hair. Then, he kissed my cheek. Then, my mouth. His kisses were soft and confident. It all felt very, very nice.

Jake slid his hand along my back.“Your skin’s so soft,” he said. “I’m really turned on.”

“Thanks…Me too.” He’s still turned on after I divulged my drink slippage? I suppose, under the circumstances and having consumed all that beer, he’d have been turned on by my revealing that I have penile malfunction. (Note to readers: I don’t.)

“Mmm, mm,” he groaned, as we escalated into a grope-fest.

“Hm, mmm,” I interjected.

Jake placed his hands and fingers in places to my liking.“I could so easily give up the rules now,” he said.

Sigh. “I want you, but not tonight,” I whispered, staying strong.

An hour or so later, I tore myself away long enough to retrieve my jacket. My other clothes had stayed on, as had his now too-tight jeans. He found a slip of paper for me to jot my number on. (I didn't offer my card; it has my blog address.)

“Have a good night," I said, with one more kiss. "Call me soon.”

“Is tomorrow too soon?”

“No.” I left smiling.

Stay tuned for the finale.   


  1. Almost sex on the couch! Which I'm sure would've been better than that drink.
    Yes, they always make good blog post fodder, don't they?
    Keep the story going, Robyn!

  2. Yes, if we followed the story up to this point, we want to know...and then,...

  3. I was in the car and heard several songs that made me think of you. One of them will make it into next Thursday's HERE'S TO YOU post. The one that did, that won't... "All the single ladies, All the single ladies, 'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it, If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, Don't be mad once you see that he want it, 'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."

  4. haha yep, whether a win or fail they can be used on the blog.

  5. Yes, this definitely makes for a great blog post! You've got your own personal soap opera going on here :)

  6. What happened next? Do tell!

  7. I've noticed that for some (entirely inexplicable) reason stories like this rarely...or never...start out with a salad .

  8. You’ll just end up in a blog post. Eventually, they all do. - I'm glad this did! Haha. Can't wait to read the finale! Seems so exciting!

  9. oooo a bit racy that one Robyn, always keep a wet Thursday night going that, probably a good idea not to give away the blog address eh xo

  10. So that's what a typical bachelor pad looks like? I need to get rid of a lot of stuff and maybe my shirt. :)

  11. There's gotta be a twist at the end! Yes, that's what she said.

  12. I likey!!! What happens next???? :) ps- you are strong, I would have been putty in his hands! ha!

  13. I read all three installations in one swell foop. Good stuff, girl! You'd better have a happy ending in store for us. So, okay, I'm ready. And then what...?

  14. wow-eeeee Sheeze. I'm hoping this ends good!
    Blessings, Joanne

  15. Yes, confessing that you spilled a drink isn't likely to interfere with a man's libido. I hope he's read the safe sex manual!

  16. Thanks, all. I love your responses. I'm scared I'm going to disappoint you. I guess we'll find out soon enough. I'll try to post the finale tomorrow.

    Robin, I love that song because it's so danceable, but I'm glad it's not the one you picked. It doesn't resonate with me now.

    Jacqueline, LOL. But Robin did post a clip of Batman in which he walks into a bar and orders freshed squeezed orange juice, then dances with a sexy woman.

    GB, I don't think that manual was one of his three books.

    You are the best followers in blogland. Thank you!


  17. Always takes his shirt off, riiight

  18. I'm staying tuned in...for the finale???

    Bless you, Robyn!!

  19. Robyn this is really really far out of the field but I have this sneaking feeling, this bizarre niggling thought that he's going to propose to you in the finale and you're going to obviously be shocked by his swift commitment and that'll be that although I hope I'm wrong. Love how you tell him that he will end up on your blog some day as a story and that was so true haha.

  20. He had better of called. While I was reading your post it occurs to me "I am OLD" I can hardly remember days like that.

  21. Ok I've been out of it for awhile (house guests), so I'm reading along and thinking - THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL SHE'S GONNA SAY! - Then in the comments I realized this is a to be continued. I hope, I hope, I hope. You're not gonna leave us hanging like that are ya?

  22. I so want a happy ending here, but I suspect I'm not going to get one.

  23. Ooohhh Laa Laa! This is some hot stuff going on here! Makes me kind of regret falling for my now hubby at 17. Is this the kind of excitement I missed out on? lol

  24. You're all so sweet, and I'm so concerned I'm going to disappoint with the grand finale. I'm trying to get it done and posted today. Please still follow along afterward. =)

    YW, great prediction and that would make for a great ending. I may have to use that at some point.

    Cheryl, I'm old too. That night was so unusual for me. I'm usually asleep (alone) by 10pm.

    Cheryl, great to see you again. Bless you too.

    Theresa, nah, I'm sure you had more excitement in earlier days. But it is nice to be older and NOT looking for Mr. Right. It takes a lot of pressure off.


  25. Leaving us hanging AGAIN? So cruel. I hope the next part is truly the finale and not "The Finale, Part I of VI."

    Also, huge bonus points to Yeamie for his use of the word niggling. I don't think I need to explain why that word still makes me giggle.

  26. ...and my comment continues from part 2 and here I am at part 3. Yay!

    Now this really is different for me. A sort of quick, get it over with, comment.

    I look forward to your climax. I look forward to your climax story.

    Whooosh...I'm going now. Enjoy your weekend, Robyn.

    Gary :) x

  27. What are men for if not to blog about?

  28. And your blog loves when you blog about these men. :)

    As for the ending, I guess there are pros to being slow in the reading, because I can just go read it now. :)

  29. I love your line about ending up in a blog post! Uh oh, the old taking off his shirt trick may not be a good sign, or is it? I'm trying to stay in order while I catch up...