My Story, Yours Too.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sex On The Beach, On The Floor: I Can't Hold My Alcohol, II.

     I stole a gulp of my drink and readily followed Jake to the dance floor. We claimed a spot amidst flailing arms, shifting hips and hyperactive feet.
     Dancing's always been a favorite outlet of mine. Add to that a hot man who not only wants to dance, but wants to dance with me, my level of spontaneous exhilaration shot through the roof.     
     Jake and I got lost in the music, conferring frequent playful grins. His endearing White-boy- bouncy-sway-step heightened my attraction. After about 20 minutes, Jake placed his warm hand on the small of my back. "Would you like a drink, Robyn? I'm going to grab a beer."
     "Oh, no thanks, I'll just drink the one I started." I slipped over to the table to taste more Sex On The Beach, as I watched Jake walk to the bar in his dark blue jeans that fit just right. Nice butt, I thought, taking a lengthy swig. Whoosh! Strong stuff. You better slow down, I told myself.
     We repeated the pattern of uninhibited dancing, then breaking for him to order yet another beer, while I sipped the same supply of Sex On The Beach.
       Jen found us on the dance floor just before midnight. She'd given Jake a ride, and let him know she was leaving. "Do you mind giving me a ride home?" he asked me. "Jen's going to leave."
      "Sure,that's fine." I didn't hesitate, but tried to quell my excitement. We both said "goodbye" to Jen.

      "Are you sure you don't want another drink?" he offered again. "You can get a soda. It doesn't have to be alcohol."
      "I'm good. Thanks...Hey, are you trying to get me drunk?" I teased.
      "Is that what it would take?"
      Oh God, how do I respond? I don't get drunk. Well I did once, maybe twice, but not for years or decades, so no. That's not what it would take. But if I say "no," he'll think I'm ready for a Slow Screw Against The Wall right here and now. Hmm, sounds nice. No, Robyn, no. Be the good girl your mom raised you to be...In short, I couldn't safely respond to his question, so I didn't.
      "Actually, Robyn, well" --he looked towards the entrance-- "let's go talk." With his hand on my shoulder, he pointed at the door. We walked outside, where we could better hear each other. Jake explained that he didn't want to have sex unless he knew it was right.
       Unbelievable! He's handsome and chivalrous, likes to dance, won't attack me. Then again, that's kinda a bummer.
       "You're beautiful, I'm not saying you're not the one for me. I don't know."
        I blushed. I'm sold! "Thanks," I said quietly.
        Then, we learned more about each other. I shared that I'm a social worker and writer, that I'd published a poetry book. He said he'd taken over his father's mechanic's shop two years ago when his Dad got sick. Jake had moved from the Bay Area, as had I. He was scoring big points until...

        "I've been married three times," he said, fairly nonchalantly. Jake added that he'd broken off an engagement with a would-be fourth wife.
        Crap! There's always something. But I was still highly attracted and slightly buzzing from my half-drink. be continued.


  1. Well he's not starting with a very good record, is he?

  2. You have to like his honesty. I know you'll hang in there at least until part III. Is that when you give him a spelling test? If he passes then you have to go on a few more dates before you make any drastic decisions. The suspense is killing me!!!


  3. You want to enjoy a little fun time without any clothes on, I say go for it. If you are entertaining thoughts of Mr. Right, etc., etc., no, no, no. I think it is a person's mind you fall in love with, maybe their personality too but their looks and clothes - no, never.

  4. At least he told you. But will there be strings? Or pizza?

  5. Wow wow Robyn, I was really beginning to like this bloke, I mean like you say he's chivalrous which is quite something but three marriages is an insane record no matter how you look at it but like others say he's good enough to be honest with you, interested to see where you went from here.

  6. Being up front isn't bad, but yikes to the almony

  7. Yowza....3x plus a 4th engagement?

    You are from the Bay Area? Where? I lived in SF for 4 years and Marin County for 6!

  8. He didn't marry all 3 at the same time, did he? Ya gotta watch out for those old-style Mormons!

  9. Thanks, all. Will follow up soon. I agree about honesty, especially since I tend to see the best in people.

    John, good point.

    JoJo, I lived in Alameda and Oakland. Marin Co is nice. Spent time in SF too. It's not for me, but was always fun visiting.

    Pat, more like a non-commitment phobe.

    Deb, good question. I didn't think of that. I just assumed not, but it's possible.

    More soon.

    Happy Wednesday, all.

  10. Here is what I believe to be true. You can take it or leave it. Or take some and leave some. When you reach a "certain age" everyone you meet tends to have baggage or issues. Some of those issues are right out there and fairly easy to spot. Some are so big that it is obvious that taking a Pass is the only smart thing to do. Other times, the choice isn't so clear.

    The Real Truth is that most people have banged up and beaten up so much (emotionally) by the time they are in their 40s that they need therapy, whether they know it or not. It is the attuned individual that says, "I want better for me, so I need to make me better." Most people want to place the blame elsewhere. Or say that if the other person hadn't been that way, then they wouldn't have acted the way they did. Blah blah blah.

    Part of therapy is owning your stuff, another part is understanding why you allowed it all to happen, and the last part is forgiving all the parties involved (including yourself).

    It sounds like there is still more to this story, since there is a third part. As it stands RIGHT NOW, I would move forward if this guy was interested in going to therapy. As incentive, I would offer to go, too, just to get him there. Let's face it, everyone could use some therapy:) But, if we care about someone, we do things to say that there is no shame in this.. and I am with you. This is okay.

    As someone who has done therapy several times in my life (usually at "crisis points," which one of my most recent therapists pointed out was the worst way to use therapy), I am a firm believer in it. Given that I have tried several types (the regular talking kind, chronic pain, and now tapping), I will say that tapping therapy is far away the best. Every person could use tapping therapy. It isn't just talking about your shizzle, it is releasing it from your physical person. That junk no longer has any power over you anymore. A good therapist will help you to understand PATTERNS in your choices. Invaluable stuff.

    Sorry this was so long. I think everyone deserves a happy ending!

  11. Don't just throw in the towel. Find out more, first. Sometimes there's more to the story than meets the eye. Sometimes there isn't. You don't know until you dig a little deeper.

  12. Well, he might be learning from his mistakes if he avoided a 4th divorce by breaking off the engagement. Better ask him how many engagements he's broken off - if it's a number greater than 9 you may have a problem.

  13. Married three and a half times? He might make a great lay but I wouldn't get emotionally involved. He obviously isn't designed for marriage or commitment.

  14. Three times eh? I wonder how that happened. I'd stick around just so I can interrogate...I mean ask him about it.

  15. Maybe all of his wives just turned out to be freaks?? Curiouser and curiouser...

  16. HHMMM...I think I will wait and hear what you say in the next installment before I get too judgmental....He sounds like he is charming and he has charmed in the past....but I am holding back until I hear more.

  17. Robin, I'm very much pro-therapy. In fact, I'm a licensed therapist. I'm also a certifiable therapy patient, pretty much a lifer. =)

    You're all insightful. I appreciate the debate. It's the same one I had before (and since) I made a decision here...Stay tuned.

    Be well.


  18. hmmm
    married 3 time ? slight warning bells...jingle jingle..I cant wait to read how this finishes

  19. Three times. Man... I already told my wife, with whom I am still happily married, that I am not getting married again... What a pain in the 4ss that was.... and expensive!

  20. Is he related to Taylor Swift? Haha, just kidding. Maybe he just falls hard fast and jumps the marriage gun. My mom does that. I think she is on marriage 5 or 6 now, but they separated 5 years ago. At this point they don't want a divorce because they are waiting out to see who will die first so they can collect the others social security lol. Romantic, eh?

  21. Three times sounds bad, but then again you never know. My uncle married 5 times. Either he changed or he finally met the one that was worth it, but #5 stuck until the day he died and they were together for a LONG time.
    And sometimes you just have to look at dating as just having some fun.

  22. Ooh, what a story. I'm curious to see where this goes. I admire honesty, but as for me personally, someone having been married 3 times would have been a huge deal breaker for me. That tells me they like to rush into things pretty quickly (I knew a girl like that, who had been engaged 3 times and married twice by the time she was 25), and that's just not how I roll. :)

  23. You lost me after "shifting hips."
    I'm shallow that way.

  24. UGH three times? As I was reading your post I was yelling...."NO, don't go outside with the stranger!He can mug you or worse!" What can I can take the girl out of New York City but you ...well you know the rest.
    Blessings, Joanne

  25. Oops, I'm here at part 2 and now you published part 3. Apologies in the delay of one of my incredibly wonderful comments. Sorry, I'm delusional! :)

    Shall I keep my comment brief? Shall I make my comment a quickie?

    Let's see, Jen gave Jake a ride. Oh, okay :)

    Married three times, eh. And a fourth engagement broken off. What will you make of this? I guess I might look silly with this comment. However, just like you and your next article, my comment is to be continued......

    Gary :) x

  26. Robyn, he gave you the headlines, but it will take time to learn the full story. A date does not require taking vows. You just met the man, so just have fun.

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