Martha Stewart, Alphabetized: The Preview

In a desperate ploy to reach 700 followers, I asked Martha Stewart to host the A-Z Challenge at my blog this April. In turn, Stewy said, "Well because your blog is...how shall I put this?...a shlocky, tasteless a piece of *bleep,* mind you, in need of a dramatic upgrade, I'll do it. But only if I can attain proprietary rights to the gentlemen who pose with me for the alphabetized photo shoot." With my fingers crossed behind my back, I told her, "Sure, *bleep,* I promise that you can keep N's Naughty prison guard and all the rest." So...
Coming soon to a screen near you:

 MARTHA STEWART

GIVES NEW MEANING TO ADULT LIFESTYLE!

Pictured above:  V's Vaginal Vac

 MARTHA STEWART

SHE'S DARING.

                                                                             D's Daring Dominatrix

MARTHA STEWART 

 SHE'S RAUNCHY.

R's Raunchy Red Rascal Ready-for-Action Attire

MARTHA STEWART
 SHE'S ALPHABETIZED!

Carolyn Brown and I are proud members of Jeremy Hawkins' A to Z Challenge Minion, The Letter Group, Inc.

Last but most importantly, this year's Challenge will be dedicated to blogland's dearly beloved friend and former Challenge powerhouse, Tina Downey.

Reasons for Celibacy, # 333 - 340! aka, Quality Solo Bedroom Time

Though I'm glad to have George in my life these days, I'm determined to continue this series. How can I not? There's too much good material. So here we go with reasons #333 through 340 for a smart single gal to choose celibacy - lifted from actual, current dating ads. [Note: You might think that these ad blurbs don't adequately represent the modern day pool of eligible bachelors. I agree. In person, it's even worse.]~~~Be well, my friends. Keep a smile and a stash of chocolate. Enjoy the weekend!~~~

 

REASON #333: You had me at let's make out!

You must’ve misunderstood, sweetie. I said “Get the hell away from me!”

REASON #334: there is no spoon...

No spoon? Stick a fork in it? Cut it up? Dig in with your hands and feet?

REASON #335: What Good is Sitting Alone in Your Room?

It’s great for reading, writing, talking on the phone or masturbating, to mention a few.

REASON #336: Do you have it in you?

Not right now, babe, but I hope to on Saturday night. 

REASON #337: Guaranteed more fun than your ex!

It’s good to set the bar low.

REASON #338: R U the 1 ! 

No. Why might you think so!

REASON #339: Can you make me jump on Oprah's couch? 

Do you have liability insurance?

REASON #340: For our first date, we can go anywhere except -name of a bar-, because I’m banned for life after firing a plastic arrow into the owner’s eye’s on Halloween, while dressed as Cupid. In my defense, I was aiming for his girlfriend, but confessing to flirting with his girl probably won’t get me back in.

I’ understand your dilemma, sweetheart. While I’ prefer a steady shot like George who nails the target effortlessly, kudos to you for the funniest ad I’ve’ seen in a long time.

Hiking With George, Table Mountain

Hi, Friends.
I hope you had a nice weekend.George and I took a hike. We're already back, but you can join us via the magic of blogland. It's like the Magic Schoolbus, only extremely different.

Here's George in front of the Table Mountain sign. We're in Butte County, in Gold Country area and atop lava rock that's now blanketed by vibrant springtime flowers. The sign behind George provides instructions such as: "Do not collect flowers or animals."

The land's so lush and colorful, and the crisp air feels refreshing. Mini-waterfalls and creeks abound.

George is stunned by the sight of a small waterfall (You can barely see some water) that created a crevice in the distant rock.

Well, I know it's never fun being the third wheel -- sorry!-- so we'll end here. Good luck finding your way home. First, though, a photo of me snuggling up to George.


Thank you for joining us.
Enjoy Saint Patrick's Day all week long, and much luck to you.