California Wildfires and Now

My Dear Silly, Caring Dears,

How are you? Please be be safe and able to smile. 

I'm fine, as are my loved ones in L.A. They're inhaling toxic air, of course. Some areas in which I used to work or play, and scores of homes, were completely charred. Lives lost. It's beyond imaginable. Right? I don't think I'll begin to absorb the devastation until I'm next in Los Angeles. 

What can we do but hunker down, appreciate our blessings, offer assistance when we're ready and able, share love and healing vibes? Afterall, the only thing we can count on is the present moment. 

That said, I'd written Now in 2012 for my first book, Just the Right Time. A dear friend, Dee Dee Vest, had long ago asked for some of my poetry to perhaps turn into song. As a surprise that brought me to tears, she sang this* publicly on the very same day that I'd learned about the Bidwell Mansion Fire. Thus, my words revisited me in magical form, when I sorely needed the message. 

*Sorry if you can't view this because you're not on Facebook. I wish I knew how to share it a different way. (Ugh, I dislike supporting Z-berg's empire.)

The very lovely, talented, and kind Robin Mead provided her stunning artwork for that book. Here's Now. 

Courage, A Poetic Repost

Hi, Dear Sillies,
   Certain events brought me back to this one. I'm sorry I haven't generated new poetry lately. It comes and goes and has been gone for a while (except when I wrote The Trumpeter).
   Happy October, dear ones.
   Be good to yourselves.

Extending the dance, 

When you’ve long lost your groove
Swimming to shore too frail to move.

Stepping towards light, when darkness abounds
Permitting a laugh amid no other sounds.

Confronting a beast no one should endure
It strikes with no warning, no reprieve and no cure.
 

Snuggling with hope, when the pain you can’t bear
Unveiling your heart in the face of despair.

Conveying a smile, when you’d much rather cry
Speaking the truth though it’s safer to lie.

Taking a stance, when integrity’s lost
Forcing what’s right in spite of the cost.  

Holding to faith in your value and worth
Maintaining a grace that softens the earth.  

Passing with ease
As you air your last breath

A hero whose soul
Transcends life
and death.

Photo by me, 9/17, Greek Perspective

Saint Patrick's Erotica

Dear Sillies,

How are you? I hope you're feeling worthy and and upbeat spirits.

It's that time again - time to...get lucky, any way you can. I'm unsure what that means for me, realistically, but I'll wear green just in case I run into Bernie.

Much love, luck, and laughter to you and yours.

Now, It's All We Know and Have

Dears,

While times like these make words so hard to come by, they compel me to offer hope and inspiration. I don't have a new poem for you, but I'm bringing back Now. 

Now: It's all we have, and it holds the world.

Please take care, and keep a smile.

Love to you.

Now

We don’t know why.

We don’t know how.

All we know is what is now.

In now there’s hope, and breath, and life.

In now there’s poise to meet the strife.

In now resides all that we need

to face the tides ’til storms recede.

A glass half empty’s just as full.

The heart lifts more than sorrow’s toll.

We don’t know why.

We don’t know how.

All we know

is what is 

now.  

By me, 2011, and painting by me, 1981 (age 15)

Naughty Teacher, TeachErotica

Dear Sillies,

May this find you well and safe - especially those of you in Texas. I'm holding you in my thoughts.

Next, it's back to school time. Kindly allow me to re-introduce TeachErotica. Note: This is adult, consensual, respectful, and very special education. Yet Betsy DeVos (US Sec'y of Education) might be appalled. Martha Stewart, however, can't stay away. (Sorry about her cameo. I gotta give her credit for knowing where to have a good time. Though I wish she'd cover up.)

Love and chocolate kisses to you, my friends.
Take care.

St. Patrick's Erotica

Dear Sillies,
I hope March is being good to you.
Happy Saint Patty's. A lucky week to one and all!

Courage, Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr.

Where have all my followers gone? I don't see your pretty, smiley faces on my right sidebar anymore, and this makes me very sad. The GFC gadget thing-a-majiggy seems to have disappeared. Is anyone else having the same problem? Can you see your pretty, smiley faces on my right sidebar? Any advice?

On a much more poignant note, I'm re-posting Courage. Thank you, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Thank you for forcing what's right, in spite of the cost. It's up to us to carry the torch that you so courageously lit. Your journey is now, in a very real way, our duty.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Courage 

Extending the dance, 

When you’ve long lost your groove

Swimming to shore too frail to move.

Stepping towards light, when darkness abounds
Permitting a laugh amid no other sounds.

Confronting a beast no one should endure
It strikes with no warning, no reprieve and no cure.
 

Snuggling with hope, when the pain you can’t bare
Unveiling your heart in the face of despair.

Conveying a smile, when you’d much rather cry
Speaking the truth though it’s safer to lie.

Taking a stance, when integrity’s lost
Forcing what’s right in spite of the cost.  

Holding to faith in your value and worth
Maintaining a grace that softens the earth.  

Passing with ease
As you air your last breath

A hero whose soul
Transcends life
and death.

-Robyn Alana Engel

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ photo by me, 2017, Chico's Bidwell Park
 
Next: More on the Scorpio saga and my bar brawl. 

Please be safe. Weather reports are scary. Take it easy and be gentle with yourself. 
You're loved and you're worthy, and I hope you'll soon magically reappear on my sidebar. 

Santarotica, A Hot Christmas to You

Dear Sillies,

Whatever you celebrate, whether you celebrate, take extra good care of yourselves this holiday season. It's a challenging time, to say the least. May it be an effortless endeavor to appreciate your (non-material) gifts. And save those cookies for special occasions. Wink.  

I love and appreciate you, my loyal readers. You're a wise, spunky, kindhearted bunch.

Finally, Happy Hanukah, Bernie Sanders. I love (and miss) you most of all.
xoRobyn

Thanksgiving Erotica, Let the Basting Begin

Dears,
You're smart and witty. Perhaps you have insight into this random statement - one that equates me with a snowflake.
James Farmer Robyn Alana Engel you are so lost. Another snowflake in life. 

This means I'm a crystal of snow, but what do I know? I'm a native Californian. And I'd simply promoted lovingkindness on Facebook. Again. Snowflakes are beautiful, am I right? I haven't been so complimented by an insult since I was called a "provocateur" last week. I'm liking this hate; it's good for my ego.

Anyway, sillies, please take gentle care. Life is too precious and too challenging. And you're too important to me. 

Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving, may you experience sincere gratitude this week and season.

Love!  

Now

Now

We don’t know why.

We don’t know how.

All we know is what is now.

In now there’s hope, and breath, and life.

In now there’s poise to meet the strife.

In now resides all that we need

to face the tides ’til storms recede.

A glass half empty’s just as full.

The heart lifts more than sorrow’s toll.

We don’t know why.

We don’t know how.

All we know

is what is 

now.  

By me, 2011, and painting by me, 1981 (age 15)

St. Patty's Erotica

I massaged this annual poem, and I hope you enjoy.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day-Week!
May it be lucky for us all. Wink.
Take care, my dear sillies!

Courage, Honoring Martin Luther King

"If a man hasn't found something he will die for, he isn't fit to live." -Martin Luther King
      I disagree with this quote, because it sets the bar beyond the stars. This gal's simply looking for a guy who isn't a dufus or dweeb, dead or married. But the quote reveals why Martin Luther King was among the greatest of the greats of all time. He refused to stop forcing what's right, whatever the cost. 
    That said, I'm reposting Courage. 
    I hope you have an appreciative day and week, my dear sillies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Courage 

                                           Extending the dance, 

When you’ve long lost your groove

Swimming to shore too frail to move.

Stepping towards light, when darkness abounds
Permitting a laugh amid no other sounds.

Confronting a beast no one should endure
It strikes with no warning, no reprieve and no cure.
 

Snuggling with hope, when the pain you can’t bare
Unveiling your heart in the face of despair.

Conveying a smile, when you’d much rather cry
Speaking the truth though it’s safer to lie.

Taking a stance, when integrity’s lost
Forcing what’s right in spite of the cost.  

Holding to faith in your value and worth
Maintaining a grace that softens the earth.  

Passing with ease
As you air your last breath

A hero whose soul
Transcends life
and death.
-Robyn Alana Engel

The Orange Mofo With a Fungus on His Head ~ My First Rap!

Dear Sillies,
This isn't a political post. If it were, I'd tell you that I'm voting for...Let's just say my bud CW Martin calls me a "reasonable Communist." CW is so right, too.
And now onto my first rap "song." Hope you enjoy!

The extraordinarily fun and funny, sassy and silly Janie Junebug is posting something special here today. I'm honored. Kindly visit and follow, if you aren't already. Janie's a gracious hostess.

Thank you, friends.
Take care.

Avoid the fungus, unless you like mushrooms (mushroom and pineapple pizza is my favorite), and keep a smile.

Christmas Erotica: Oh Santa, Big Santa!

In honor of the last night/day of Hanukah, here's my naughtiest erotica...

 

I love and appreciate all of you, my sillies. 

Take care of yourselves. More year-end fun stuff will follow. xo

        

Together, A Poem for the World

Dear Friends,

The California Regional Center system has my heart, now more than ever. My first and most profound social work job found me at the Regional Center of the East Bay. So the mass shootings earlier this week at the Inland Regional Center leave me shaken. I have too much to say about blaming Muslims, "religious extremists," or Obama, and the like...None of it good. We need to come together - drop our differing political and religious labels and rhetoric, stop blaming any one group or any one thing for problems that are incredibly monstrous. We have to unify to make this world kinder and more fair. It is, afterall, what we all want.

Judaism emphasizes "Tikkun Olam" (pronounced ti-koon oh-lawm). This means a healed world. We not only pray for this, but we work daily - in small and larger ways - to bring about peace on earth. 
Love to you.
-------------------------------------------(I wrote and posted this poem several years ago.)

Together: A Poem for the World
 
Blessings for healing
Of body and mind
Freedom from hurdles 
That stall and confine

The urge to laugh
A surge of will
To savor breath 
in moments still

May bursts of hope
Feed hardened souls
And broken bits
Grow into wholes

Violence quelled by rising care
A shift towards what's just and fair

May dreams be held and given birth
That none shall doubt their precious worth.

May love pervade
All life, renew
Wounds be healed
and scars be few.

The world so huge
My role so small


Together, may we do it all.

Thanksgiving Erotica: Basting the Turkey

To all who celebrate Thanksgiving, enjoy your feast. To all, I appreciate you.
May you be thankful for too much to say, and generous with leftovers.

Halloween Erotica, the Original

Halloween started all this poetic erotica madness. I never intended on it, really. I was foggy-eyed* one morning and I set out to write an innocent Halloween poem. As I scrawled notes, though, I realized that my thoughts and words were creating saliva and other sinister sensations. So it began. This one's loosely based on the original original. Enjoy this original one too. Be well. Be safe. Have a sweet week.

*I don't know what this means, but I'm good for loads of unintentional innuendos when foggy-eyed.

Out of the Darkness, Preventing Suicide and Fighting Stigma

Many people prefer to deny life's harsh truths. This doesn't change reality. (Wouldn't that be nice?) Fact is, depression and mental illness are rampant. They strike millions of people who have only one thing in common: they're human. These days and very sadly, most of us have lost loved ones to suicide, whether or not we acknowledge this publicly (or privately). 

Twenty-seven years ago, I lost my brother, Glenn-David Engel, to suicide. He'd been diagnosed with paranoid Schizophrenia. Only in the past several years have I come out with my story. And I've been honored to serve as Event Chair in 2014 and 2015 for our local Out of the Darkness Walk for suicide prevention.

This year's Walk took place on 10/10. Over 400 folks gathered from as far as 80 miles away to honor loved ones lost to suicide, to support each other, and to fight the stigma attached to mental illness. It was truly awesome. Though the greater community is impoverished in terms of dollars, it's rich in generosity and heart. We raised almost twice as much as ever - a grand total of over $17,400 and counting! I'm so proud! The money goes to the AFSP/American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, so it all translates into saving lives and squelching stigma.

 Me at our Remembrance Tree.  -photo by Dawn Horwitz-Person, 10.10.15

Here's the poem I shared during the closing ceremony. Several people approached me afterwards to ask for copies, so I'm posting here - in hopes it offers comfort to as many as possible, as often as needed. 

Thank you. Take gentle care. None of us is alone. Everyone of us is worthy. 

Please Believe

Please believe we know your pain
Your broken soul. That smile you feign.
You say "I'm fine," but that's a lie.
You dare not share your urge to die.
We know your rage, your hate, and shame.
The burn that set your heart aflame.
Consumed by grief - your life, a curse.
Cold lonely days; still
Nights are worse.
Please believe us when we say
Keep holding tight. You'll be okay.
Monstrous ills you cannot halt.
Go gentle now. 

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
Mental illness has no cure.
You're human with a heart that's pure.
We know not how. We know not when
You will reclaim your life again
Embrace a faith you never knew
You'll be so glad you wrestled through.
Please believe, and hold on tight
As strands of pain fade into light
And tender hues transform your sight.
You're not alone.
Please know it's true.
We're right here
Holding tight

With you.

                                               Photo by Jodi Rives, Out of the Darkness 9.27.14

The Week Before Yom Kippur & A Message to Kim Davis

Preface: Has Beans Cafe in Chico is home to a wonderful Thursday night Open Mic.The talented cast has become my local family, and I recite poetry several times a month. My most recent poem follows. It's not erotica; I couldn't figure out how to sex-up Labor Day or the Jewish New Year. Instead, Kim Davis and her buds inspired this one.

If you want to see and hear me, bless you. It's here.
Happy New Year to the Jewish world, and happy new week to all!

PS I just noticed that my Rabbi wished all a happy 5776. Oops. One of us is a year off. We won't correct a Rabbi, though. Smiles. 

A Salute to John Hancock

Have a safe, fun, appreciative July 4th weekend!