Here Comes Hanukah!

My Dear Sillies,

Hanukah starts tonight. For you, and for the world, may miracles abound. We sure could use 'em!

I'm sharing some photos of my lil Hanukkah candle lighting, especially for Joanne, who made the request. Mixed in are lyrics from my favorite holiday classic, Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song. 

Take good care.

I love you.

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Hanukkah
So much funukkah
To celebrate Hanukkah

 

Hanukkah is
The Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents
We have eight crazy nights!

 

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me

David Lee Roth lights the Menorah
So does James Caan, Kirk Douglas and the late Dina Shore-ah

 

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?

Bowzer from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli

Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine looking Jew!

 

You don't need "Deck the Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (both Jewish!)

 

Put on your yarmulke
Its time for Hanukkah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs
Celebrates Hanukkah

O.J. Simpson: not a Jew
But guess who is?: Hall-of-famer Rod Carew (he converted)
 

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish - not too shabby!

 

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is?: All three Stooges!
So many Jews are in showbiz 

Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is

 

Tell your friend Veronica
Its time you celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica
On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah

So drink your gin and tonic-ah
And smoke your marijuani-kkah
If you really, really wanna-kkha
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah!

 

The Actual, Original Song of Thanksgivukkah!

Never again in this lifetime will we be able to celebrate the convergence of Thanksgiving and Hanukah. So, in honor of Thanksgivukkah, there are many songs zipping through the Internet. I haven't found one that tells the true story of how Thanksgivukkah came to be, nor have I found one that's sung to the tune of  the Gilligan's Island's theme song. Thus, I created this.I hope it's informative. Enjoy. (?)
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Get fit, not crack, and I’ll spin a tale that’s as wacky as they get. It started when Christopher’s Mother asked, “Why aren’t you married yet?”          Maccabee Chorus: Why aren’t you married yet?

I’m not sure why. I’m nice and all, but I can’t attract a babe.

I’ve tried Jdate and Plenty ’o Fish. Had no luck; I can’t get laid.

Maccabee Chorus: Poor lass, he can’t get laid.

Hush, my son! Don’t speak such things! A Bubbeh[1] I must be. 
So find a gal and marry her. Then next, go spread your seed.

Maccabee Chorus: Then next, go spread your seed.

I searched through Spain and the Promised Land, but nothing seems to work. 
I don’t like bars or techno-raves. 
Mom, I can’t even twerk.

Maccabee Chorus: Poor lass can’t even twerk!

Then build a ship and search the world. Not a corner shall you miss. You’re 45 years old, my son. 
Now come give your Mama a kiss.

Maccabee Chorus: Boy, go give your Mama a kiss.

Columstein sailed with the Pilgrambergs, and dreidle they did play. Within 8 days, they hit Plymouth Rock. 'Twas a miracle! Oy vey![2]

Maccabee Chorus: 'Twas a miracle! Oy vey!

They ate and ate and ate some more. Turkey latkes[3] were first rate. Then Chris winked at Pocahantusky and asked her for a date.

Maccabee Chorus: He asked her for a date.

He IM’d Mama, who said, “Mazel Tov![4]”. You can guess what happened next. 
Columstein and Pocahantusky were sharing risqué texts.

Maccabee Chorus: They were sharing risqué texts.

So we celebrate all miracles, and give thanks for all we’ve got.

Were it not for bold and brave rebels, We’d be one sorry lot.

Maccabee Chorus: We’d be one sorry lot.
 
Now go enjoy Thanksgivukkah. And do your very best 
to make the most of what you need, 
and share all of the rest.

Maccabee Chorus: And share all of the rest.

Happy Thanksgivukkah...There, where-ever you’re smilin’!

---

[1] Jewish grandma. We all love them. We all need them. I miss my two Bubbehs.

[2] Nothing says “oy vey” like “oy vey.”

[3] Potato pancakes. Traditional Hanukkah food.

[4] Congratulations and good fortune.

I forgot a couple footnotes, and I don't know how to slip them in without messing this all up - as if it's not already messed up (in more ways than one). Truthful info:
The Maccabees were a small band of Jews that fought and won a battle against the Egyptians/Syrians for religious freedom. Dreidles are the spinning tops we play with on Hanukah. Hanukkah begins on Wednesday night.
On both holidays, we celebrate miracles; religious freedom, and all the freedoms and blessings we take for granted in our privileged segment of the world. It's sentiment we can all embrace, so Happy Thanksgivukkah to you!