Chocolate, What It's All About!

Dear Sillies,

Let's get back to the meaning of life: Chocolate.

My oh my, do I have some divinity to share with you! It's Nick's Swedish-style Triple Choklad Light Ice Cream. Much, much healthier than other ice creams and deep fried twinkies. There's NO ADDED SUGAR, my friends. Bonus.  

But how does it taste? Divine. Really. It's malty, rich, light, addictive...I love it. My beau and I finished it within two days. And we exercised restraint, I tell ya. Re-straint. (Yeah, he made strawberry milkshakes for us in between spoonfuls of this goodness.)

It costs approx what you'd pay for Haagen-Dazs or Ben and Jerry's ($6-7 per pint). Kinda pricey, but cheaper than one anti-depressant tablet. Am I right? Sweeter and more flavorful too. Nick's has swirls and chips of chocolate. I can't recommend it enough, and I recommend you keep it away from me, else I'll devour it before you even get a chance. 

I give this a 10! It's truly worthy.

In other news, I'm being extra indulgent these days because I turn older this week. 

Can you guess how old?

Clue #1: Celebrity John Cusack and I share a Birthday (same day, month, and year).

Clue #2: We're 16 months older than the legendary, annoying, Julia Roberts.

Clue #3: It's a saucy number.

Love you, Sillies!

What is Chocolate? A Jeopardy Question

Dear Sillies,
   How are you holding up?
   Allergies are kicking my tuchas. Anyone else contending with them? Any remedies to suggest besides snorting things up your nostrils repeatedly like a coke addict? (Probably not something to do in public.)
   Otherwise, I can't complain. Well, we can always complain. But it's better to be appreciative, in spite of life's miseries. I am. And I hope you feel the same, at least for moments in time.
   This past weekend, I took a little trip to Berkeley (approx 3 hours away).
   It's a colorful place with some lovely flowers, and fresh Bay air.

   There, I attended a sweet young guy's Bar Mitzvah* ceremony. (*The Jewish ceremony marking one's passage into adulthood at age 13. For girls, it's called the "Bat Mitzvah.") This young man, who I used to babysit, is a kindred spirit in his love for chocolate.
   During the reception, he and his classmates played Jeopardy. One question perplexed me. Well, I just lied. Many more than one question stumped me. This one, though, I really should have known: What is the name for the chemical formula of chocolate?

How could I have no clue?
That's not right. I'm a fraud!
The kids immediately shouted the answer - those smart, young Berkeley-ites.
Do you know, my smart, young and young-ish bloggy friends?

I'll post answer after the picture of more lovely flowers in Berkeley.

Here we go:

"Theobromine, formerly known as xantheose, is a bitter alkaloid of the cacao plant, with the chemical formula C7H8N4O2. It is found in chocolate, as well as in a number of other foods, including the leaves of the tea plant, and the kola (or cola) nut."

WHO KNEW? I SURE DIDN'T!

Keep a smile and plenty of theobromine on hand, my dears.

Latest in Chocolate: Chocolate Frosted Flakes

Hi, Dear Sillies,
How are you?
I'm always thinking about you.
This time, my thoughts took me to...

Admittedly, I didn't eat these for breakfast. I only sampled a scoopful at Costco. That's all it took. Didn't want to spend money on Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. The are not GGGGRREEAT! Don't do it, friends. I love the original. I love chocolate. (Duh.) But this combination is just wrong. I don't know what they use for chocolate flavoring but I don't think it's...chocolate. It hard to detect any real chocolate. Whatever it is, it drowns out the formerly loved cereal for me. I give Kellogg's Chocolate Frosted Flakes a 1 on a 1-10 scale (10 being GGGRRREEAT!). Why'd ya go and ruin a good thing, Kellogg's? Take 'em off the shelves. That'd be great.

Have you tried these? Given them to your kids? Dogs or cats? Let me know what you think.

Be well, and take care of your great selves, my dears.

I love ya. 

Arctic Zone Chocolate

Dear Sillies,
Imagine a small, confined space - say, an elevator - wherein these three people are between floors: Ryan Gosling, Halle Berry, and Bruno Mars.* Pretty hot in there, right? It's even hotter these days, right? We're in the hundreds over here. But I shouldn't complain. Some of you are probably dealing with humidity too - I can't imagine. Stay cool, my friends. Whatever it takes.

*I know, but he's a 5'5" cutie - perfect for me.

On your behalf, dears, I did some taste testing. I went for something healthier than the usual desserts, healthier than yogurt even.  ~ Arctic Zone Brownie Blast.~

It's super low in sugar and saturated/bad fats, calories too. It's lactose and GMO free. You'll find chocolate brownie bits through the fresh and cool spoonfuls of dark chocolate.

It's not as rich as ice-cream, icier and lighter. But this stuff is yummy. It cooled me down and made me smile.

The price was right too. ($4 for a pint).

Arctic Zone earns a 9 from me.

Anyone tasted this? If it doesn't appeal to you, let me know. I'm happy to keep sampling chocolate products until I find one that meets your desires.

Be well, and stay cool - whatever it takes.

Pigs 'N Taters Milk Chocolate Bar~The Latest in Chocolate

It's about time I sampled some more chocolate for you, dear sillies.
So I tried this Hammond's Pigs 'N Taters Milk Chocolate Bar.
Note to self: Read label before making purchase.     

Remember those little red-dye "bacon" bits that we used to add to salads? [I wrote that in past tense, because I'm hopeful none of you still add "bacon" bits to your salads. I admit, I used to eat them by the handful as a kid.] They were a big deal in the 70s -- even before SPAM gained raging popularity. 

Well, the "Pigs" here refers to bacon bits. Had I read the label, I'd have realized this. But when it comes to chocolate, I'm not thoughtful. See the little red bits in this bar? Yep, "bacon" bits. And the "taters"? I'm not sure. Sodium and stuff I can't pronounce.

So did I finish it? Of course, and in record time. I thought it was pretty good, actually, though I'm disappointed at the false advertising. Keep in mind that I'm not picky about chocolate. It tasted like salty chocolate with bacon bits. The chocolate itself was pretty yummy.

Hey look, it's Kosher!! Note: the encircled U means it's Kosher. While there's something kinda wrong with a kosher chocolate bar that's called "Pigs whatever," you can recycle the label! Mazel Tov!

I give this bar a 3 on a scale of 1-10.

Mr. Robio Dante's review on Amazon is much more entertaining than mine. Here's an excerpt:

ByRobio Dante on December 30, 2015

"First, if you're thinking of buying this for someone because they love bacon or because they love funky chocolate bars, STOP. You will not maintain friendships this way.
Miss Piggy has more actual pork in her DNA than this bar..."

There you have it. Avoid this one, or don't blame me or Mr. Robio Dante. Thanks Robio!

Take care of yourselves, my friends, and have a good week.

Reasons for Celibacy #376 -383: Lord's Pick // Giveaway Announcement!

And now, onto reasons number 376 through 383 for a straight single gal to avoid the dating swamps in favor of eternal celibacy. These ads represent the options. It doesn't get much worse. And yet, neither does it get much better. As usual, what's bolded is lifted directly from on-line dating forums.
My snarky comments follow. Please enjoy...from afar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #376: HelloAsk me a thing you want
Okay, will you give me a nice, big, dark man or piece of chocolate?

REASON #377: You Down Enuff??? 

Any further down, sweetie, and I’ll see the Earth’s core or Uranus.

My favorite of this bunch:

REASON #378: I want the Lord pick the girl for me! 

Honey, the Lord undoubtedly has a high-speed Wifi connection, but I’m guessing the Almighty ain’t reading this ad.  Try increasing the font and see if that works!

REASON #379: looking for a fun girl country or other 

Well, “other” leaves the field wide open, so that’s a good strategy. As far as “fun girl country,” I’m thinking you’d do best to stick with the free world: US, Canada, or a Chippendales bachelorette party in the Swiss Alps.

REASON #380: Humble with a hint of Kanye

Dude, that’s like saying anorexic with a hint of Oprah, or civilized with a hint of Trump, or sexually desirable with a hint of Martha Stewart. It just doesn’t work.

REASON #381: i do not get the meet me,send mesge

i do not get it either, babe.

REASON #382: don't look to hard

Alas, that’s what I’ve been doing wrong! Whenever I look to hard, it goes soft. Thank you! You’re a genius!

REASON #383: Essentially Male

Does this mean you are marginally, practically, or secretly Female? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, sweetheart. We're all on the spectrum.

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Keep a smile, my friends, as we enter a new month.

In February, our staff and crew like to collect as much Valentine's Hate as we're able. So we're sponsoring our annual Hate Love Sweet Package GIVEAWAY! The next string of posts will be dedicated to the GIVEAWAY.  Winner will receive a generous package of sweetness.

Rules: (1) Be a follower --of my blog, that is. (2) For the next week or so (I'll announce that here) submit in the comments section your best and most humorous hateful Valentine's message in UP TO AND NOT MORE THAN 50 WORDS. Flattery works for me, so don't hold back, BUT I'll put it up to public vote. I'll make the deciding vote, if needed. It's kinda your standard cooperative communistic dictatorship. Wink. (You like that, CW?) 

Ready, set, go!

Can't wait to read your entries.

Take care, dear sillies.

Hershey's: Known for Kisses, Has no Heart or Conscience

Sorry to be so late in the game. You've probably already bought your Halloween candy. If not, or if you don't know about Hershey's dark side, please read.

Warning: This information, while distressing, is too important to ignore. Please be mindful of these facts when purchasing Halloween candy and/or when feeding a cocoa craving. The data to follow is based on my research in the fall of 2010. Hershey’s hasn’t budged since then.

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Until a few years ago, I frequently bought a blissful dose of cheap (i.e., Hershey’s) chocolate, and M & Ms were my favorite. But I was ignorant of the true cost of this pleasantry.

The harsh facts: Thousands of children are kidnapped, trafficked, and sold to cocoa plantations every year. The average price per child: $1.20-1.90. Often, these child slaves have no concept of chocolate. Rather, they are forced to endure 12-18 hour workdays, handle machetes without proper training, climb high trees – while exposed to hazardous chemicals in a treacherous climate. Should they rebel or perform “poorly,” they are beaten. Should they try to escape, they are killed. A vast majority of these known abuses occur in West Africa’s Ivory Coast.

Despite high-powered opposition, Hershey's continues business with the Ivory Coast. Certainly the world’s largest chocolate corporation, boasting over $5 billion in revenue annually, can afford to take a stance.This monstrous entity acquired Sharffen-Berger in 2005 and Dagoba in 2006. It continues to produce many non-chocolate products, such as Twizzlers, along with countless non-food items.

Fortunately, there are good alternatives. The most assuredly exploitation-free chocolate carries a Fair Trade Label. We pay more, but dollars go directly to the development of community resources, such as schools or hospitals. Fair trade cocoa originates in Belize, Bolivia, Cameroon, Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Ghana, Nicaragua, and Peru. To find out a candy's source, look at the back label.

Organic chocolate is another good option (e.g., Newman’s Organics).  
There’s much guesstimating in this area. Here's my best effort to delineate some of the “good” vs the “bad.” On the good team, I included companies that have begun socially conscious efforts.

 
Good Chocolate: Cadbury Canada, Ben & Jerry's, Starbucks, Ah!laska, Endangered Species, Ithaca, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Newman's Organics, Clif Bar, Guittard, Green and Black's, Mayordomo/Mexican chocolate, European chocolate, Nirvana, Rapunzel, smaller mom & pop brands, and lots more.

Bad Chocolate: Hershey’s and any chocolate from West Africa's Ivory Coast, Mars/M&M's, Dove, Dagoba (taken over by Hershey's, though they do have one fair trade chocolate bar), Sharffen Berger (also taken over by Hershey's).

Gary, worldly, handsome servant of Penny, modest internet superstar, provided this link. It's a great site through which to order fair trade chocolate.

Regarding Candy Corn: Brach's isn't fair trade, but it's not Hershey's! So if you haven't yet bought Halloween candy and you can't afford fair-trade goodies, buy candy corns or candy pumpkins (Brach's mellowcreme). At least you won't be supporting the world's biggest and most evil chocolate corporation. Thank you.

When in doubt, avoid Hershey’s and Mars, Sharffen Berger, Dagoba (and any company acquired by Hershey's).

Here are some folks fighting the good fight, and my sources of this information:
http://www.fairtrade.org.uk/
Fair Trade Labeling Organization
Fair Trade Candy Blog
http://www.visionursd.edu/
http://www.saveafricachildren.com/
http://www.globalexchange.com/
http://www.change.org/
International Federation of Organic Agriculture Movements