Chocolate Pudding Peeps Review

Dear Sillies,
   First off, why are Peeps called Peeps? They're weird little creepy looking marshmallow bunnies. 
   Second, I tried these Chocolate Pudding Peeps. I had to. It was Easter weekend AND Passover.

   Now let me tell you, Chocolate Pudding Peeps do taste a lot like chocolate pudding. They're a bit too sweet, though. That's really my only criticism. I like them. I ate them readily - ears first.

   Your turn, Sillies. Tell me your most vulnerable feelings related to Peeps. What do you love or hate about them and why? Hold nothing back. We're practically family (without any of the tensions or unwanted children).

   Bottom line: I'd give Chocolate Pudding Peeps a 7 on a 1 to 10 scale.

Stay safe and sweet, my Sillies.
Take care of yourselves.
I love you.
 

Movie Night Popcorn Ice Cream?!

Hello, My Dear Sillies,
  This one looked weird enough to star in a blog post: Enlightened Movie Night Ice Cream - Popcorn flavored ice cream with chocolate bits and swirls of caramel. 
   Only 90 calories per serving! One serving is ONLY one quarter of this container (approximately one tablespoon). Naturally, especially when weather is so hot, it's a 360 calorie snack. But wait, it has MORE PROTEIN, LESS SUGAR. That's true too! There's 7g of protein and only 6g of sugar per serving (tablespoon).  Simple math informs that this contains 28g of protein and 24g of sugar!

   I can't lie, it's good stuff. I can't lie twice, it's not the best. The popcorn flavor is subtle enough to work, not strong enough to feel as though you're eating popcorn at the movies, or anywhere, really. The caramel is the best part. Very sweet and yummy. I, of course, wanted more chocolate bits. 
   The whole little thing is a bit of a stretch, cleverly packaged. I'll give it a 7, and I recommend buying a small sized buttered popcorn at the movies instead. The price will be approximately the same. And that WILL taste like Movie Night popcorn.

Stay cool. Stay hot. Know that I love you, my Sillies.

Gummy Bears on a Chocolate Pool Day

Dear Sillies, 
   I mean, how could I walk by this? Mini GUMMY BEARS on a CHOCOLATE POOL DAY!  While on an otherwise dull Trader Joe's shopping trip, I saw them. They saw me. Then they shouted in their quiet, determined, little gummy bear high-pitched voices: "Come on, Robyn. We know you want us!" Would've been rude to keep moving. Right? If you look close, you'll see little tiny gummy bear foot prints, gummy bear underwater gear, gummy bear water noodles.

   How was it? It was like candy-coated frosting on steroids. Super sweet in a very kid-friendly way. Friendly to this adult too. The little innocent gummy bears tasted fruity, like jelly, in the mix. But I didn't detect much of the dark chocolate - the white has a stronger flavor. Might be too sweet for ya'all, but not for me. As for health benefits, it's 25% iron! We all need iron! 
   Those cute little innocent gummy bears continue to celebrate summer's approach, as they float gleefully in my belly. 
   It was $2 and worth it. But don't say I didn't warn you about its epic sweetness.
   I give this one an 8.5. 

Take care, my friends.
Get your iron, and your sweetness.

Root Beer Chocolate, Detox, InSanity

Dear Sillies,

   Are you staying warm enough? I sure hope so. Spring is only a few weeks away - something to keep in mind while you're bundling up.

   I've a mixed post for you. 

   

   Please be good to yourselves.

   We'll catch up later in March.

   First, I sampled Theo's Root Beer Barrel, a root beer flavored chocolate bar.

I like root beer, and you know I love chocolate. This chocolate bar has a solid root beer flavor. But I wanted more chocolate goodness. The mixture doesn't work. It might work if you add vanilla ice cream, as it made me crave a root beer float. On the plus side: It's Fair trade. It's a pretty wrapping. It wasn't bad. I'll give it a 5 on a scale of 1-10. If you're craving root beer, make yourself a root beer float. Don't buy Theo's Root Beer Barrel.   
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Second, I'm going on an Internet detox break for several weeks. One reason for this is to work on finishing my next book. It's a sequel to Woman on the Verge called InSanity. 
Here's a teaser from page one:

   Is it just me or are everybody’s braincells mysteriously busy boogers, frenetically body-slamming against each other’s elastic membranes, then rebounding fullspeed ahead like Sarah Palin at the mention of the 1892 Alaskan Takedown Cartridge Rifle?
   She’s horny, right? I mean, anyone with that degree of calculated idiocy, that endless supply of plastic smiles and short tight skirts—Does she not know she lives in—Hello!­ Alaska? She’s gotta have a deviant libido. Or am I just jealous 'cuz she's one of those pretty-dumb-rich bitches? Yeah, that too. But let’s fixate on the former. It’s more fun, and I’m so weird.
   He doesn’t notice.
   Am I crazy? Am I not crazy? If I’m crazy, am I crazy for thinking I’m not crazy? If I'm not crazy, am I crazy for not realizing that I'm not crazy? But if I am in fact crazy, am I not in fact crazy for thinking that—my musings hurt. Let’s agree that I’m not crazy. No? No, no?
   Oh all right, yes. Yes, yes. Check box one, check box two. Cash? No, check. Check please.
   I hate waiting for the check. They’re never quick to bring it. Twenty minutes later they act all smiley, flip it under your nose, and announce “Take your time.” I already did, honey, waiting for you to bring the damn check! Here's your tip: Pick up the pace; you're on the clock.
   Warmed bed sheets brush briskly against my right calf.
   My face lowers itself hypnotically, as I sink into Jeff’s thoughtful gray-blue irises. Oh, I forgot: I’m having sex. Like, now. And I’m not alone.

Arctic Zone Chocolate

Dear Sillies,
Imagine a small, confined space - say, an elevator - wherein these three people are between floors: Ryan Gosling, Halle Berry, and Bruno Mars.* Pretty hot in there, right? It's even hotter these days, right? We're in the hundreds over here. But I shouldn't complain. Some of you are probably dealing with humidity too - I can't imagine. Stay cool, my friends. Whatever it takes.

*I know, but he's a 5'5" cutie - perfect for me.

On your behalf, dears, I did some taste testing. I went for something healthier than the usual desserts, healthier than yogurt even.  ~ Arctic Zone Brownie Blast.~

It's super low in sugar and saturated/bad fats, calories too. It's lactose and GMO free. You'll find chocolate brownie bits through the fresh and cool spoonfuls of dark chocolate.

It's not as rich as ice-cream, icier and lighter. But this stuff is yummy. It cooled me down and made me smile.

The price was right too. ($4 for a pint).

Arctic Zone earns a 9 from me.

Anyone tasted this? If it doesn't appeal to you, let me know. I'm happy to keep sampling chocolate products until I find one that meets your desires.

Be well, and stay cool - whatever it takes.

Peep Show!

Dear Sillies,

Since I'm not doing the A-Z Challenge this year, I thought I'd attract new followers through a suggestive post title. And could there be a more sacred week for a Peep Show? Passover starts on Monday night, 4/10. This celebration of freedom, with a focus on compassion for the oppressed, lasts for eight days. So Passover overlaps this year with Good Friday and Easter. Woohoo!

Now, the real reason for this post: chocolate samplings.
There's a chocolate covered Peep on the left, and a chocolate dipped macaroon* on the right. (*coconut cookie that's a traditional Passover dessert)

Adults tend to either hate or really hate Peeps. Aside from the outrageously loud, carcinogenic-like coloring and the annoyingly sweet, sticky innards, what's there to hate? I loved my Peep.

I devoured my Peep. The milk chocolate covering was yummy, as was the bright yellow marshmallow chick. And then it was gone. 

Next, the macaroon. The coconut, which I typically dislike, was fresh and rich and nicely textured and light and semi-sweet. I only wished it had been dipped in more chocolate. A LOT more chocolate. I barely tasted the chocolate, and this made me sad. 

I give the chocolate dipped Peep an 8, and the chocolate dipped macaroon a 7. With a total of 15 on a 1-10 scale, you're bound to have an extra sweet and sacred holiday week.

The minions on my placemats insisted on joining the Peep Show. (Not to worry, photo was taken before eating was completed.)

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WARNING: The following Peep Show cannot be unseen. Please do not see it if you do not have a strong constitution. And for all of us in the United States, the constitution is weakening by the minute, so I suggest you close your eyes and move on. I'm posting this more for the Boycott American Women guy who's been trolling blogland for at least 6+ years and has 2 followers. Two!

I'm also posting this for all the people who drop by and say "Visit me" numerous times in various languages. Yet they never follow my blog or buy my books, which I'm kind enough to inform them of numerous times. However, they tend to praise me for my informative posts. Granted, I take credit for my achievements, but an educational blog is not one of them.

Have a great week, dears. Okay, you've been warned...

This one's for you, creepster peeps.

Animal Crackers and Shirley Temple

Dears,
Could you use a dose of adorableness? I thought so.
First, a review of CHOCOLATE Animal Crackers.

They appear to be either oddly formed gender neutral animals or little clumpy brown clouds. They taste like chocolate graham crackers. By this, I mean they're fairly yummy. But I'm stuck pondering why these cookies are called "crackers." Aren't crackers square wafers that taste like paper with a dash of salt? Due to my confusion, I'm ranking Chocolate Animal Crackers at a 6 on a 1-10 scale (10 being the best and 6 being "They taste good but they aren't crackers.").


Now for the adorable Shirley Temple. This clip takes us back to 1935. The endearing spitfire kept humankind's spirits lifted during harsh times. I hope she'll lift yours now too.

Take care of yourselves, day by day, moment by moment.  
Animal crackers in my soup. Lions and tigers . . .

Love to you.

Chocolate Stout Cheese and Progressive California

Dear Friends,

I hope August is treating you well. It's not my favorite month, and I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I'm working on a little book for ya, but technical challenges have had their way with me. I didn't enjoy it either. Don't you hate that? It could be much worse, though; in fact, it'll be fine. I'll share more about Celibacy and Suburbia in the coming days and weeks. Stay tuned.

For now, I had to sample Rogue Creamery Chocolate Stout Cheese . . . for you.

Pretty label, and the cheese is a white block -- nothing fancy. It was expensive, $10.99 for 8 ounces. I splurged, because it shouted at me to make the purchase. As you can see it's made with actual chocolate stout.

How is it? Meh. I mean, it's better than those cheap zippy packed cheeses. It does taste rich and high end -- like a mix of cheddar and swiss. I could taste the stout, especially in the after taste. But what about chocolate? I ate the whole thing in search of chocolate. I couldn't taste it. So I had to run out for a hot fudge sundae. I had to. Otherwise, why bother eating all that chocolate cheese. Right? Makes sense to me.

In summary, don't buy Rogue Creamery's Chocolate Stout Cheese, unless you have a strong craving for stout cheese. In that case, spill some beer on a slice of cheddar. It's cheaper. I give the cheese a 3 on a 1-10 scale.  It's not terrible. It's just terribly mis-labeled and missing chocolate.

 

On an entirely different note, I'm so proud of my progressive, open-minded, liberal state of California. Look, we even have Trans parking spaces! Wait, maybe that means "Transportation." But isn't everything that requires a parking space, a form of transportation?

Is the world getting weirder and less logical? Maybe it's just me.

Take care, my sillies.

Hot Chocolate: Tabasco Chocolate

Some people can't get enough Tabasco sauce. I'm not some people. Are you? Ever tried Tabasco with chocolate?

I'm pictured preparing to bite into a McIlhenny Company Tabasco Chocolate. Were there a second picture, I'd still be smiling. The chocolate tasted yummy - a bit creamy, a bit dark and high quality, and no hint of spice.

Were there a third picture, though, you'd see flames racing from my nostrils, mouth, eyeballs, eardrums, and - well - I'll stop there. That is, after I enjoyed the chocolate, I felt the need to drink from a fire hydrant. But I'm a wimp with hot stuff like this.  It might be too mild for you.

There's no false advertising on McIlhenny's part. Their Tabasco Chocolate includes a detectable portion of Tabasco. And chocolate. I didn't taste either together, but I certainly tasted each one.

I give this hot chocolate a 7. It's good, not great. There's no mixture of the two. You could simply buy chocolate and pour tabasco on it, if you want the sensation. Then again, for a nice gal like me, it was the most excitement my mouth has had in a while. That's why I gave it a 7, rather than a 6 or 6.5.

Cheers, all.
Have a sweet and/or spicy new week, as August rolls into September.

Ode to the Oreo (sort of): The Latest in Chocolate (sort of)

First, and Ode to the Oreo (sort of, though it's more like a hazing)

Oh Nabisco
Why’d you go
And desecrate the Oreo?
I liked it fine before the change
To an array of flavors gross and strange.
With double stuff, you should have quit.
But birthday cake?
Who’d eat that sh*t?
You’re triple stacked
And berry burst. Neapolitan.
And it got worse.
You hit new lows with the words “low fat.”
What PR guru thought of that?
Nabisco, tell me, why’d you go
And make a "springtime" Oreo
That’s dyed in freaky loud yellow?
Could that be cream or real bright snow?
You’ve gone peanut butter and mint too.
A Girl Scout rip-off -- Shame on you!
So Oreo, now I must go.
It’s you, not me, if you must know.
You gave good licks and chews to start.
But Big Fig Newton’s my new tart.

Next, A Review: the Golden Oreo - chocolate cream, vanilla cookie. It's the only one I dared taste. And tasted. And tasted. As regular cookies, they are okay. Meh. Neither exciting nor lousy. As Oreos? No, no, they must go! So I give this brand a 3 on a scale of 1to 10. Nabisco didn't solicit this review. [They are not the brightest, but they're clearly not stupid either.]

What do you think about the 20 varieties of Oreos? What's your favorite? Have you tried them all, BabySister? {I ask, because my dear longstanding bloggy friend, BabySis, has posted photos of many an Oreo.}

The Latest in Chocolate: Cookie Chips

A number of companies have attempted to successfully combine the (potato) chip with chocolate. Today, I review Hannahmax Baking's latest attempt: All Natural Crunchy Cookie Chips. 

This snack contains no trans fats, artificial flavors or colors, preservatives or GMOs. Despite all these voids, it tastes good! I like the sweet fudge-y - but not intensely sweet - taste. 

While they're crunchy like potato chips, though, that's where their similarity to potato chips ends. I'm not wowed by these. Anyone can make them. Just overcook a batch of cookies, but don't let them burn, and you've got crunchy cookie chips. Yours will likely be cheaper than these - $3.99 for a 6 oz. bag (approx. six servings). I got this bag at Raley's/Nob Hill Foods.  

All in all, I give these cookie chips a 6. Sorry, Hannahmax Baking, this product is nothing special. If you'd like to send me some for free, though, or mail me cold hard cash, I will gladly re-write my review in your favor.

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ADDENDUM ~
Over the weekend, I visited Healdsburg, a little town in Sonoma County (aka wine country). People were walking along the sidewalks sporting wine glasses, heading for the next tasting. Me? I darted into a Sharffen Berger shop. Prepared to lecture them on the evils of child labor on cocoa plantations, I asked if they carry any fair trade chocolate. Surprisingly, they said "yes" and even gave me samples of fair trade Dagoba. It was yummy.  I ate it too fast to photograph it, but I did capture this plaque:

                                                       Perseverance is a sweet thing.

Hunger Games Chocolate Bar ~Beef Jerky and Smoked Mesquite: The Latest in Chocolate

Are you a fan of The Hunger Games? Me neither. I recently learned that they have a line of chocolate, though. Naturally, I had to try it (for your edification). This one is a Hunger Games' CATCHING FIRE Beef Jerky and Smoked Mesquite milk chocolate bar. I found it, along with five-ish other flavors, at Safeway.  It cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $4. But that's not all. It comes with a year's worth of free chocolate if you win their sweepstakes.

Plus, as I was eating this baby, I was smiling. I don't like beef jerkey, but I liked it in this chocolate bar. They did well to combine a smokey, salty, slightly beefy taste with smooth milk chocolate. It's not overly anything. I was happily impressed.

My only problem was a lingering unsettling sweet after-taste. Overall, though, I give this Catching Fire bar a 7.5.

I am not being compensated in any manner for this review. If I was, I would not have been so honest.

Cheers, and have a sweet day.

Chocolate Covered Gummy Bears: The Latest in Chocolate

I was never much of a gummy bear fan. What about you? 

I mean, it's fun dismembering them, and switching their body parts. But they're too chewy and get their little parts stuck between my teeth. Plus, they're not made of chocolate. Or so I thought, until I encountered these at Powell's Sweet Shoppe in Chico: chocolate covered gummy bears. I like the concept, kind of, though it struck me as a bit odd. I didn't think I'd like these bears, but I did. The dominant flavor is chocolate, with a tinge of fruitiness inside. They tasted just right, and they didn't get stuck between my teeth. I gobbled a handful in no time. I find these a lot more addicting than the non-chocolate covered gummy bears. Overall, I give these sweet cubs a 9. I can't tell you where to find them, though I'm sure you'll find them if you look hard enough. Otherwise, visit me in Chico, and I'll take you to them. Then, we'll have some of Powell's delectable gelato.

Powell's didn't offer me any treats in exchange for this review, though I wish they would.

Have a sweet weekend.

Chocolate Beer: The Latest in Chocolate

I hate beer. But this one kept calling to me from the shelves of Trader Joe's and Raley's/Nob Hill Foods. I finally caved in and bought some Boatswain's Chocolate Stout. Then, I drank some. I ~hiccup~ have no regrets. It's really good! Don't just take my word for it. A friend, who we'll call Closet Al Coholic, says it's good too. I also asked a woman at the supermarket what she thought of it --she was pointing it out to her husband when I eyed this bottle. She gave it a "thumb's up." I'm sure she's a booze expert, as are most of my neighbors in California's far North.  Thus, with three votes in its favor, you can't go wrong.

I'd describe Boatswain Chocolate Stout's taste as light, yeasty (i.e., it tastes like beer), refreshing and with a subtle tinge of dark chocolate. It's made with cocoa powder and contains 5.4% alcohol. This stuff's really good. I recommend it, even if you generally hate beer. I forget the cost, maybe $6 or so for a 6 ounce bottle.

In sum, Boatswain's Chocolate Stout is a treat and a novelty. I give it a 9 out of 10.

Cheers!

PS Don't drink and drive.

Hemp Milk! The Latest in Chocolate

As Hemp History Week commences, here are a few fun facts about hemp:

•  In the 1700s, American farmers were required by law to grow hemp in some colonies.
• The Declaration of Independence was drafted on hemp paper.
• Abraham Lincoln used hempseed oil in his lamps.
•  Ford’s Model T was made with hemp fiber, which is ten times stronger than steel.
•  Hemp produces four times more paper per acre than do trees.
•  Hemp seeds are rich in vitamins, minerals, all 10 essential amino acids, and good fats.

 ·       Though hemp is closely related to marijuana, its levels of THC are extremely low -- between .01-.03%. According to the experts (e.g., my neighbors in Chico), it takes at least 3% THC to get high. You’d have to smoke an acre’s worth of hemp to get there, but you’d likely die in your efforts, so please don’t try this at home or elsewhere.

I’m celebrating hemp now by drinking Chocolate HEMPMILK.  Note to the Feds who may be lurking at Life by Chocolate for evidence of terrorist or drug activity: this product has no THC.  Note to all: it’s still good stuff. The drink is smooth, creamy and tastes rich in nutrients, but in a good way. I’d liken it to a liquid chocolaty oatmeal cookie. Though it’s high in sugar (22g  per serving), it’s a great source of fiber, protein and good fats (Omega 3s and 6s). I found it at a local Natural Foods store, and it’s distributed by Living Harvest Foods, Inc.

I give Chocolate Hemp Milk a 9 on a 1-10 scale.

A final note: I am not being compensated in any manner for this review, though I wouldn’t object to being compensated in (almost) any manner for this review.

Cheers to chocolate hemp milk and a sweet new week!