Hot Chocolate, Jalapeno Hot!

 Dear Sillies,   

   You know that hangry feeling? Yeah, I was feeling it and grabbed a hangry bar - milk chocolate with Jalapeno and pretzels. 

   It tasted great and chocolatey sweet, until...

it didn't. Whoowee, they didn't spare on the jalapeno. Keep a jug of water close, if you try one. I forgot about the pretzels, not a strong salty flavor. Overall, this babe's properly named and is a good fix for the hangries. I give it a 9. But I hope you don't NEED one.

Be well and not hangry.

Love,

Robyn

VALENTINE'S DAY HATEFEST WINNER!! She's a Spunky One!

Dear Sillies,

   Excuse the delay, but we interrogated King Putinontheritz regarding one suspicious ballot.*   He said only "Nyet?" We didn't know what to do next, so we sent it to Florida. They shouted, "We took him back. What more do you want?" and tossed the ballot in his hole. I mean, in Mar a lago's 13th hole. It mattered not. Not every vote counts. (What do you think this is, Canada?)

   It was close, my friends. Votes were all over the place. 

*Here's the ballot in question:

Janie Junebug I know this says Janie Junebug, but I'm not Janie Junebug. No, definitely not Janie, but I vote for her.

Love,
Janie

oops

With or without voter fraud, we have one clear winner. Her entry is poignant. It's succinct, and it's beautifully hateful. CONGRATULATIONS, L. Diane, Spunk on a Stick! 

 

L. Diane Wolfe

Give me your heart...so I can grind it into the dirt.

Diane will receive a package catered to her individual needs and preferences. I believe you don't eat chocolate-gasp!, Diane, so we'll work around that. Please have your people contact mine at Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Thank you. 

Thank you all for entering and voting! 

CONGRATULATIONS to a most worthy winner!

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! Valentine's Day Hate Fest Contest!

Dear Silly Hearts,

Please vote on the one Valentine's Day Hatefest entry you like most.

Winner will receive a very sweet package. 

Enjoy raging sweetness this weekend. 

I love hating on VDay with you, and I love you.

Thank you, especially to those who entered!

 

Birgit 

Penis Van Lesbian (aka Dick Van Dyke)meets a young girl and marries her.

The broad likes very wrinkly things hanging low. Idiot

Alex J. Cavanaugh

Just give me sex...
Wait, did I say that out loud?

 

Yvonne

Wine and me
no room for thee

 

Elephant's Child

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I would rather be alone in my bed,
than share it with you.

 

Joanne

2020 Valentine's seemed like bliss
2021 lockdown - wear our best sweats, kiss

stop looking, breathing, chewing, being, I hiss
go zoom on the moon, your face I won't miss

 

Janie Junebug

See Dick and Jane. See Dick try to give Jane his dick on Valentine's Day. See Jane remove Dick's dick. See Dick cry. Boofuckinghoo, Dick.

Love,
Janie

 

L. Diane Wolfe

Give me your heart...so I can grind it into the dirt.

 

Geo.

Kid, you've thrown me deep into last century --Dylan, Baez: "Love is just a four-letter word", but it's more powerful than all other words combined. Be my Valentine. (29 words)

Valentine's Hate Fest Contest!

 

Valentine's Erotica

 Dear Sillies,

It's February, and we know what that means. Perhaps NOBODY loves to hate Valentine's Day as much as you and I. So start to get those brain-cells churning towards funny, hateful V-Day messages for Life by Chocolate's annual Anti-VDay Hatefest. Specifics will be announced in next post. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, may this teaser get you in the mood.

Love and chocolate kisses.