Excuse the delay, but we interrogated King Putinontheritz regarding one suspicious ballot.* He said only "Nyet?" We didn't know what to do next, so we sent it to Florida. They shouted, "We took him back. What more do you want?" and tossed the ballot in his hole. I mean, in Mar a lago's 13th hole. It mattered not. Not every vote counts. (What do you think this is, Canada?)
It was close, my friends. Votes were all over the place.
*Here's the ballot in question:
With or without voter fraud, we have one clear winner. Her entry is poignant. It's succinct, and it's beautifully hateful. CONGRATULATIONS, L. Diane, Spunk on a Stick!
Give me your heart...so I can grind it into the dirt.
Diane will receive a package catered to her individual needs and preferences. I believe you don't eat chocolate-gasp!, Diane, so we'll work around that. Please have your people contact mine at Rawknrobyn@aol.com. Thank you.
Thank you all for entering and voting!
CONGRATULATIONS to a most worthy winner!