Friday, January 17, 2014

Missed Connection: In Search of My NYE Kisser

Hi, friends.

This completes my kiss-diss series (last three posts). I'm enjoying thoughts of finding my New Year's Eve kisser.I think the best way to do that is through Craigslist Missed Connections, because, really, what greater venue is there for sparking a meaningful romance with the person you're destined to be with? 

Here's the ad I'm planning on posting. Your critique is welcome. Thanks.


CL; chico personals missed connections
Top of Form
Bottom of Form
world’s_sleaziest_site prev 1 - 100 next and newest

Thurs Jan 16
New Year’s Eve Kisser – w4m (chico CA) map

Dear Kisser,
It's all a bit fuzzy, but you kissed me on the lips on New Year's Eve at midnight in a club in Chico (the dark one with a lot of people). I'd like to thank you (repeatedly). You made this 47 year old feel like I still got it or, at least, I can still get it if I want to. I'm fairly certain you look like a perfect combination of Tom Cruise pre-Scientology-sofa-aerobics and Brad Pitt pre-wolverine-Jolie-won't- notice-if-I-give-Aniston-a-few-of-our-kids-right? You're 5'8" give or take four inches, and you're at least 18 years old--provided your ID is legit. You're athletic and toned, with a physique not unlike Michaelangelo's David. You appreciate the premise behind the movie, Harold and Maude (i.e., older women turn you on).

Please respond with a close-up selfie of your lips, so I know you're not an imposter. Thank you. Looking forward to our next encounter.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PS  I'm leaving town for the weekend, to celebrate a friend's son's Bar Mitzvah. I'll take a picture of the cake for you. My Internet access will be limited or nonexistent. I'll miss you. 

Be well. 

Have a great weekend, and I'll see you soon.

29 comments:

  1. Prepare for an onslaught of lips selfies.
    Have a good weekend and we'll look forward to cake photos.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bwahahahaha. It was dark, it was NYE, and it was a club. That narrows it down. Maybe more info on the kiss itself would bring this guy out of the woodwork. For example, it was somewhere between soft, but not slurpy, and electrifying, but not aggressive. In fact, it was a kiss and run. Please, please, please call so that we can test drive it again!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hopefully someday the mysterious kisser is revealed :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. They're always perfect when you don't know them - especially in dark clubs.
    I believe President Obama is into selfies, so watch out - you never know who you might end up with on the list.
    Imagine having to match the selfie with the kisser; it sounds like a new take on Cinderella's glass slipper!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cute and whimsical! If that doesn't flush the little bugger out, I don't know what will.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's a riot! Are you really gonna post that? If so, good luck and I hope you hear from him. If not, Alex is right, you're gonna get a lot of lip pics. lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good luck in filtering out the impostors, Robyn! Damn fool should have left you something instead of giving you a smooch and running off into the night. Even a box of tic tacs might have helped.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope that flushes him out of hiding. Or at least his lips.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yep. that should do it. Terrific! Only thing is this. Back when I did the online dating thing I found out everyone lies about their age. One woman told me her Ex was really successful at it. She said they were both born on the same day but he was 10 years younger than her. So maybe change 47 to 37.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow. 5'8"? Over 18? Sounds like a winner, Robyn!
    Have a great time at the party!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Really!!?
    Craig's List?
    I hope this is just some sort of literary license
    Good luck in your searcj

    ReplyDelete
  12. Searching through all of those replies could be lots of fun. ;)

    Have a good weekend!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha oh the replies you are going to get will sure give you plenty of lip

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hope you find him. I wish I fit that description but I'm shorter than Michelangelo's David, by about four feet.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks, all. You're making me laugh.

    Ooh, Robin, great wording. I'll have to steal that.

    So true, Fanny.

    JoJo, I thought about posting it because the responses would bring entertaining blog material. But Craig's List is way too creepy. I'd be scared to. I'll just hope Kisser finds the blogpost.

    Stephen, other than the height, I might have suspected you.

    Have a great weekend, sillies.
    Love to you.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, that ought to bring him around, or several other wanna-be kissers! :D

    Hope you have a lovely weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Was he naked like Michaelangelo's David, too?
    That must have been one wild club.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Gosh, I sure hope this works. Who knows what will be waiting on your door step when you return.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lol! You sure visited some wild place!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Heh...here's hoping that somebody who semi-resembles your descriptions answers the call! ;-)

    And regarding Harold and Maude, I *just* picked up the blu-ray and have it queued up for next weekend. That's an under appreciated flick, that is.

    ReplyDelete
  21. He takes four inches? Girl, you deserve better than that! lol

    Yeah, Id say its all a good sign girl - you can still do it - up to you what you do with it.

    Dont want to say it, but clock is winding down for all of us... I think this is the year... such great early signs...

    But hey, worth it purely for the brilliantly funny posts haha...

    As Mulder said to Scully.... I believe...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anthony, excellent quip about the 4 inches. Yeah, that greedy bastard.

    Thank you, all. I'm going to be making rounds asap.

    Be well.
    Stay warm. Drink hot cocoa.
    Love ya,
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  23. " 5' 8" give or take four inches?!" You would be a great witness! I would love to see an artist's rendition of the crime scene!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hahaha...you probably would get some interesting photos...some of the "unwelcome" kind as well. But wouldn't it be great fun to actually run into this person again at some point. OR maybe not...that might spoil the fun and the mystery.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think it's great! The responses you are going to get will be fodder for many future blog posts! Send it!

    ReplyDelete
  26. The kissing bandit will probably be forever the one who got away. Destined to only be a memory. I hope you are able to track him down, but I think you're going to meet a lot of scum on Craigslist with some pretty interesting lip pics :D

    ReplyDelete
  27. Haha - youll be flooded with offers no doubt!

    It's only a matter of time ;)

    x

    ReplyDelete