I'm Martha Stewart, and I like to keep things neat and tidy. So I've created Martha Stewart's
Wafer-thin Windex Wipes for Wild Nights. Use them prematurely, during, or immediately after an unsightly mess ensues from a rough and wild night of passionate sex (alone, in the company of a well-endowed blow-up doll, or with a paid escort). Gently dab the wipe onto the stain or penile head, and - viola! - the wet mess dries up immediately, and you're ready for your next house-guest. These wipes are conveniently wafer-thin, soft and delicate. You might think they're like other cleaning inventions. But these ones include a Martha Stewart label, and they're on sale at Macy's or Nymph I am for $300 per box. Clean up your act and make the purchase. You'll be glad you did. Tootles!
