InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Showing posts with label stupid personal ads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid personal ads. Show all posts

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Reasons for Celibacy, #368-375: Cape Diem!!

Dear friends, here's to a sweet 2016! A new start is always a good thing. Right? So is silliness. That said, here we go with my Reasons for Celibacy, #368 through 375. As usual, I posted these "accidentally" -shall we say?- for your entertainment.* They've been lifted directly from current on-line dating ads. Actual headlines are bolded, and my snarky commentary is italicized. Please enjoy.
*I can't imagine what else they might be good for. Can you?
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REASON #368: family man and a thrusworthy friend to have. 
Gotta admit, I like a man who’s thrusworthy.

REASON #369: im just looking for someone to do things
You haven’t found one, huh? The world’s getting lazy, ain’t it?

REASON #370: you don't half to look no more
You’re my better half? Are you related to the guy who says we should whole ass one thing? Or the one who’s a full-time dad 50% of the time? Do you even half siblings or half-siblings, bro?

REASON #371: i am looking for gril friend
Don’t you need a good, hard poker for that? 

REASON #372: Are you down?
Sometimes, sweetie, like when I miss loved ones who died, contemplate the fate of human existence, and read personal ads.

REASON #373: Cape Diem!!
Woohoo!! Have I met my soul mate in an Underdog fan? Mighty Mouse? Batman’s “little buddy”? *smirk* Cape Diem to you too, Boy Wonder!!

REASON #374: looking for a great adventue
Pee-wee Heman’s?

REASON #375: *Insert cleaverness here*
Okay: *Ward, I think you were too hard on the Beaver last night.*

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Keep a smile, and a stash of chocolate in the event of emergencies or non-emergencies.
HAPPY 2016, my sillies!!