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Showing posts with label #pickles_or_bananas?thesinglegal'sdilemma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #pickles_or_bananas?thesinglegal'sdilemma. Show all posts

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Reasons for Celibacy #351 through 357: Pickles vs Bananas?

Ah, celibacy and freedom. Freedom and celibacy. There are so many reasons to continue this sex-less lifestyle. And now onto Reasons # 351 through 357. Please enjoy, and have a stellar new week.
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REASON #351: 
LIBERALS NEED NOT SEND A MESSAGE CAUSE I WILL BLOCK YOUThank goodness!...NO HIPPIES EITHER OF FAT GIRLS...No? How about hippies of skinny guys like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, or Quagmire? Giggity giggity!

REASON #352: 
hopless romantic looking for love
Hopless? You walk with a limp? You’re allergic to beer? Or is scooting more your thing?

REASON #353: 
My spoon is too big!!! 
Sorry, babe, but that doesn’t make up for an extra small egg-beater.

REASON #354: 
Are pickles a vegetable?
I don’t know, but they work better than bananas.

REASON #355: 
I'M a very good skateboarder
Now, that’s what I’m looking for in a man over 40!

REASON #356: 
Hear I am 
Um? I sea that.

REASON #357: 
Squirters are fun if tasteful
Sweetie, let me break it down for you like this: It’s never tasteful.
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Keep a smile, my friends!