I hope you're doing well and taking good care of yourselves. Our thoughts are with Paris. Life is so brutal for much of the world, sometimes I feel as though the best I can do is attempt to spread laughter. So here's another attempt: reasons #358 through 367 for a straight single gal to remain celibate. I couldn't possibly make this stuff up, neither awake nor in my sleep. That's to say, these are lifted directly from on-line dating sites and peppered by my italicized snark. Enjoy the weirdness.
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REASON #358: So a lot of women on this site think the
men on here are lame and are all dogs. Most of them horny hood rats need to
take a good look in the mirror.
Hey, watch it, buddy. I’m not…a hood rat!
You forgot delusional.
Yeah, well, at least we don’t be like using commas when they
don’t be like needed, bro.
REASON #361: m looking for that special girl that
stand by me
n
REASON #362: I would love to walk the ocean beaches
It’s been done before. Hints: He saves. Son of virgin Mary. Middle
name starts with H.
REASON #363: I'm ben single. for long time girls. I
like. All kinds. Of. Music. My to have. My own. Place. I I'm life Han diet. A
and do art and I like to ride. Morter. Cikols
Dear Ben Single,
Regrettably, I’m not interested in you. I am curious, though,
is Chewbacca on the Han diet?
Best Regards,
Robyn Engel
REASON #364: Sex can i ?
No Yoda say.
REASON #365: Funner then your ex
So is a colonoscopy.
REASON #366: Demisexual
I can’t fault you for that, babe. Demi Moore’s a hottie.
REASON #367: My density has popped me to you
Honey, I’m impressed by the power of your density. Mine just
pops open my belt buckle.
