Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Interview with Justin Bieber! IWSG

Welcome to the first IWSG (Insecure Writer’s Support Group) of 2013. Alex J. Cavanaugh  founded this group to provide us with a safe venue for expressing our vulnerabilities and offering each other support. We're posting on the first Wednesday of every month. Please check out Alex’s blog to visit others’ posts. It’s a great group.  Join us, if you haven't already! All that's required is an insecurity or two hundred.

Robyn: We had a lot of big-name celebrities last year. So I wanted to kick-off this year’s first IWSG in a really exciting way, with the biggest star of them all. Instead, I bring you Justin Bieber.
The audience boos. I’m sorry - Robyn lowers her voice to a near whisper - but nobody else was available on such short notice. Robyn raises her voice again. Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s welcome today’s guest, Justin Bieber! Silence fills the studio, as Justin strolls onto the stage, carrying a pink make-up bag and waving at the audience. Suddenly, a loud, uncontrollable girlish scream echos throughout the building. The camera zooms in on the culprit: a baby on her mother’s lap. Embarrassed, the mother swaddles her baby and walks out briskly. Robyn and Justin exchange a lukewarm handshake and take their seats.

Robyn: Thanks for visiting today.

Justin: Sure thing. Leaning back in his chair, Justin opens the make-up bag and pulls out a compact and lip gloss. He grins at the mirror and begins applying layers of lip gloss.

Robyn:  Justin, how did you feel about Google naming you the 7th most popular woman in the world? 

Justin:  Well, there are always gonna be haters out there. I’m cool with that. I can’t always take first place, or even sixth. He giggles and resumes lip-gloss application.

Robyn: Yeah, tough break. So, today’s this year's first meeting of the IWSG. Do you know what that stands for?

Justin: Uh, I worship Selena Gomez? Justin smiles proudly, humored by himself.

Robyn: No, we’re insecure writers. On that note, I want to lend support to my insecure writer friends. That’s why I invited you here. See, I recently published my first book. I was going through a dark time, and I hadn’t planned on publishing my poetry, not yet at least...Justin removes a container of Selena Gomez hair gel from his make-up kit and begins rubbing it on his hair...but I looked through my poetry and decided I had enough for a book right now. Then I emailed this amazing artist and blogger, Robin Mead, and asked if she’d partner with me. She agreed. Within two months, I was a first-time published author. It’s an awesome feeling to have ignored all my insecurities. I rose above my circumstances and just did it, you know?

Justin: Oh yeah. Well, me and my mom used to live with mouses before I became famous. One morning, no joke, this is really gross. You won't believe it. But in my sofa bed, because we couldn’t afford a real bed for me -

Robyn interrupts: Yeah, I knew you'd have something to share about this topic, Justin. That’s why I invited you.

Justin stops talking, ready to address Robyn’s questions. Cool, okay.

Robyn: Yeah, I figured you could speak to the experience of surviving tough times, getting knocked down and then again, yet rising above it all with grace and dignity. How did Selena do it?

Justin: Some things, I don't talk about. But, like I was saying, we lived with mouses, and one morning when I woke up -

Robyn: I'm afraid we’re out of time. Thanks, Justin.

Justin, looking at the audience: Well, would you like a song before I go? The audience remains silent. Justin shrugs his shoulders.

Robyn: Sorry, we’re just not Beliebers here at Life by Chocolate. But thanks for your time, and please know that tons and tons of people really, really love and adore…Selena Gomez. Give her our best. 

Justin: Okay. He waves at the two people (now sleeping) remaining in the audience, and struts off. 

The camera zooms in on Robyn: My friends, we might not be Beliebers, and Lord knows we aren’t, but we must be believers. So shut-down those nagging insecurities and just go for it. Keep dreaming and writing and moving towards your goals. Amazing things will happen. Have a great, successful New Year. Believe in YOU.


  1. Yeah... I'm afraid I'm not a Belieber. Then, again, I'm not sure what people see in Honey Boo Boo, either. Not my cup of tea.

  2. You mean you didn't ask him how many children he's fathered? Damn, what a missed opportunity! The mouse confession was quite a scoop, though. I can imagine the sexual chemistry between Bieber and Mickey Mouse.

  3. I'm a big Belieber in "Just The Right Time." I'm so happy that you decided to publish this amazing poetry book Robyn! BTW, I also lived with a couple of mouses back in 2012. Hopefully, they've found new homes by now.

  4. I love that you have Justin Biebee use the term "mouse's" :) Also, the first time I heard one of his songs I totally thought it was a girl singing. Congrats on your book! I'm glad you decided to go for it.

  5. Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I hit the comment about seventh most Googled woman!
    Another classic IWSG, Robyn

  6. MsA, yeah, Justin IS easier on the eyes than Honey Boo Boo.

    GB, I didn't even think of that. I guess I didn't want to be rude - as if I wasn't rude.

    EmptyNestInsider, you always say the sweetest things. Thank you. And I'm glad you no longer live with mouses.

    Emily, you know, he actually used the term "mouses" in an interview and then corrected himself. It's pretty funny. Thanks so much for your support.

    Alex, it's actually true, too. I think Google was trying to show the world they have a sense of humor.

    Believe in YOU, all.

  7. LOL! I always love your posts! Congratulations on all the success you've had and I wish you much more :)

  8. Lmao at the google remark. Glad bieber never gave a bark. Can't stand him.

  9. That I Worship Selena Gomez bit is absolute genius Robyn, this interview most certainly has not disappointed, this is why your blog is so wonderful, seriously hilarious stuff as usual.

  10. Hilarious! Really nice to meet you from the IWSG Robyn. Can already tell I'm going to enjoy your blog. :-D

  11. Hilarious! :) I love these!

    Here's to a fabulous new year!

  12. I'm with Alex. Being sober was required while following this interview!

    Thanks for the fun.

  13. Awesome post. I wish I was there in that audience...not because I like him, but rather to present him with a belt because seeing as his pants are always around his knees I just figure he has never seen one IN HIS LIFE!
    As usual Robyn your posts are amazing.
    Blessings, Joanne

  14. I belieb you've made your point.


    Honestly. I don't see it. I just don't see it.


  15. So much to learn from Justin Bieber, even if, as my daughter says, "Nobody has Bieber fever anymore!"

  16. You've got a great sense of humour. Poor Beiber living with mouses and consoling himself with expensive hair gel. I know he feels your pain, I just know it.

  17. Such a creative take! I had a few chuckles here. Congrats for taking your risk!

  18. I might have enjoyed the mouses story :)


  19. I just skip all the Bieber reports so I didn't totally understand the lip gloss or Selena Gomez but I appreciated your writing and humor as always!

  20. What are the odds: I mentioned Justin Bieber in my post this morning. Hmmnn....

  21. Robyn, you can now be more secure...you took a completely inane subject matter and made it...well, matter. Very funny stuff. and...SCENE!!

  22. I'm a believer not a Belieber! ahahaha I crack myself up! Loved your post, it was hilarious!

  23. Not a Belieber - haha gold.

    I'm kinda of interested in his, er her, mouse story... lol.

    He was well behaved, for a change from his bratty self.

    Kudos to you for rising above.


  24. I like what you did with the IWSG anagram. Clever. I knew Bieber was a girl this whole time.

  25. Thanks, everyone. You've made me laugh a lot. I love your comments.

    Joanne, I agree. And why wear pants at all, if you're gonna let them drop down to your ankles?

    Pearl, I worshipped Sean Cassidy back in the day. You did too right? I hope so, else I'd feel kinda vulnerable right now. Anyway, I see a resemblance, so I guess I can see it - minus all the make-up he wears. But I don't hear it. I try to find talent in his voice, but I don't. His fame bewilders me too.

    Everyone, be well and keep believing. I'll be around to visit your blogs over the next few days.


  26. I love your interviews, this one was classic. Definitely not a Beilieber! Ha!

  27. Hilarious and funny!!! Thanks for this great interview!!!

  28. Bieber, E.L. James, the Kardashians (shudder) and others prove marketing is important. Imagine how successful they could be if they had talent. Robyn, thanks for sharing your talent.

  29. Dang I really wanted to hear that mouse story.

  30. Sorry, all, but the mouse story had no plot or surprises. Bieber ends up sharing a joint with the little creature. I didn't think it was an appropriate story, so I kept cutting him off.

    Happy weekend.

  31. Ugh. Just seeing his name makes me shiver and want to puke...

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