Woman on the Verge of Paradise: to Profit in Paradise and Mojo in Chico, Here I Go!

 

                                                                                         Me at my Goodbye Party, 2/26/11

Sign reads "May you find Paradise to be all its name implies"

Thanks for joining me on the verge of Paradise, as a new chapter of my life unfolds. If you're new to Life by Chocolate, or just madly trying to catch up with your blog reading (Can we ever truly catch up?), this non-fictional autobiographical story begins here.

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It really is all about boxes: thinking outside of them, packing them, and living amongst them. Well, for now. I depart in about 12 hours. In the meantime, I'm living with multiple boxes. They contain my essentials and semi-essentials, all non-toxic. Tomorrow morning, the movers will load said boxes onto their truck, and I'll trail them for the 170 mile trek to California's true North.

After that, it'll still be about boxes for a while.

Otherwise, if life is anything like my samplings of Paradise and Chico thus far, I won't be bored. My time there has already offered a slew of intriguing oddities: angry expressions about draconian measures, conversation regarding the virtues of cemetery sex, a mafia style meeting to assess my suitability as a prospective renter, a phlebotomist who covers her windows in plastic wrap for insulation, and more.

In the meantime, I got away from the boxes last night for one last Bay Area hoorah, my goodbye party at Speisekammer - Alameda's fine German eatery. For a while, I thought it would just be me at a formal line of tables spanning the restaurant's back room and ready to seat thirty guests. Yep, thirty empty chairs and just me at 6:30pm (start time), then 6:35pm, then 6:40pm. I was feeling pretty lonely until Anthony - the waiter- sat by me and said, "Sweetie, if they don't show up, I'll treat you to dinner." It was nice to have a back-up date. Um, no, no. I needed to remind myself what this was about. I want this party, right? Of course. I planned it for myself, after all. That was awfully sweet of him, though, and it was my last Saturday night in the Bay Area. Hm...

Good thing they arrived to avert my internal conflict, and they arrived in droves. Soon, I felt like the excited bride unable to fully give everyone their due time. It was a wonderful way to cap my nearly two decades in the Bay Area. Guests included my little friends like Jonah. I forgot that Jonah hates kisses. After I planted one on his cheek, he was very conspicuously - with the clear intention of inconspicuousness - madly rubbing my germs off  his cheek for the next thirty minutes. Little Eli was parading around, working the crowds like the toddler charmer he is, a wide smile and his left pant leg rolled up to his knee. Ben told me, "Next time I see you, I'll be 5. Now, I'm 4." "Little Gabe is all round," mommy Jenny said. "There's nothing not round about him." I looked at Gabe's rounded half-smile gracing his round face, which affirmed that mothers know best.

Friends from the Jewish singles scene, salsa dancing, and various work settings (I've had so many) helped me celebrate. My hairdresser, who did my wedding-do and also styled my hair before this party, joined us. I was gifted with a beautiful handmade necklace and many forms of chocolate. [I "needed" to sample much of it today, but I haven't yet needed to break into my bar designated "In Case Of Emergency."]

We toasted to my moving to Profit in Paradise and Mojo in Chico. That is, I'll be working for Nora Profit in Paradise, while living with Steven and Mojo in Chico. Steven tells me that Mojo is a sweetheart, a black tabby who doesn't spray. I'm already in love with Mojo, because: (1) he's named Mojo and (2) he doesn't spray.

I didn't want to bore you with details, but I don't want to end this post. That will mean saying "goodbye" to you for now. I need to pack my computer. The last of the big boxes are calling for my attention. I suppose I can't put it off any longer.

But wait, there's one more thing. As I was having the discourse with myself about leaving the Bay Area (see last blog post), I also told me, "You can't leave your blog community." Then, I said to me, "Okay now you are being way too silly" - with a gentle dope-slap to the forehead. "They're a virtual community. Hello! That means, they live all over. You'll actually be closer to your Canadian blog friends like Marnie and Kal, and your Northern blog buddies like IT and Pearl. Yeah, you'll be a little further away from some others, but they will stick around. (Fingers crossed.) In fact, they'll come along for the journey." And so I hope you will. Your support means so much.

Please forgive any delay or decrease in my blog activity. It will take a bit of time for me to get my desktop re-connected. I'll also start full-time employment on Tuesday. Still, you and blogging are a top priority. I'll see you from the true North. ...Now, to the boxes. Next, to Profit in Paradise and Mojo in Chico, here I go!

The Alternative Temptation Matrix, A Saturday Centus



The Saturday Centus challenges us to write a piece within 100 words, based on a prompt. I encourage you to jump aboard. Just click on the graphic above. It's great practice, and I've met wonderful peers this way. Plus, Jenny's our favorite teacher. I'm continuing the sci-fi series, with apologies. This is a sequel to my last centus right here. The prompt is bolded, with a minor change from "began" to "begins." Enjoy.

Also, please forgive my reduced blog activity for a bit. I'm moving tomorrow morn and I'll have to get my desktop re-connected in my new home. Thank you! xo
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"You stimulate the Milky Way," Natashialovarita continues, moonwalking across the Sirius Chamber floor.

Spock presses his jaw back into socket. "Abort!" He shouts.

Natashialovarita stops. Meekly, she steps back into her Lieutenant-Colonel-Nurse Practitioner-Phlebotomist-Maid-Assistant Janitor uniform.

"I simply intended to repay you for the other night, Spock."

"Unnecessary and rather repulsive," he declares, turning towards the Sirius Emergency Chamber Exit.

"Wait! Compensation begins." She saunters towards him and manipulates the Alternative Temptation Matrix (i.e., the ATM) to his left. The ATM machine begins dispensing twenties and doesn't stop.

Spock scurries to collect all of the bills, shoving them into his Orion belt.

Woman on the Verge of Paradise: Angst, Zen and Challah

Sign reads: "May you find Paradise to be all its name implies"

I’ve spent the last several weeks sliding between phases of angst and zen, with tearful interludes. As I prepare to leave the Bay Area in three mornings from now, feelings are charged. Don’t get me wrong. I’m truly grateful and plan to give Paradise the best of me. Still, I’m sad.

While I sat in synagogue during Shabbat services last week, a waterfall of tears distracted me from prayer. That’s okay. I didn’t go there to pray. I went for the challah.[1]  And for one last visit to say “goodbye”: a literal "goodbye” to the Rabbi and congregants and a quiet, personal “goodbye” for me. (And then, some more challah.)

Glancing up, I saw myself with the groom. We married on that bimah[2] 3-1/2 years earlier. I wiped the first round of tears to notice how ecstatic I was that day. My smile said “I finally did it, people! I found my happily ever after and, damnit, I deserve it!“ I was so right and so wrong.

On our wedding day, the Rabbi compared me to Alice’s Cheshire Cat, with a smile that crossed my face throughout our courtship. “She hasn’t stopped smiling since they met. I’d see them here at services and wish they paid a little more attention to the service than to each other,“ he joked, proceeding to bless our union.

Now, as I leave the Bay Area, I carry a deep sadness for the fallen love and marriage. Though it ended years ago, this impending move is somehow marking the divorce a sharp reality. Feelings of loss are prominently weighing on me.

Fortunately, loss and gain are on the same spectrum. So, while it’s a tough departure, it’s a good one. I get to start over in a field I only dreamt about entering. I’m smiling again. In fact, I feel as though I’ve just begun to find my happily ever after.

Last month, Nora asked about my decision to leave the Bay Area. I had initially told her I wouldn’t relocate. While walking back to the lodge after our first conversation, as I explained to Nora, I had a little talk with myself. It went like this:

“You’re being silly,” I said to me. “You CAN leave. Nobody’s keeping you there.”

“But you’ll never meet a man if you leave the Bay Area,” I retorted to me.

“Look, me,” I then told me, ”What are you going to do? Stay there in celibacy and turn down a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity because of some man who you haven’t already met or dated after nearly 20 years in the Bay Area but who you’ll suddenly meet and fall in love with, and life will be outrageously glorious, so glorious that it’s worth bypassing this chance to work for Nora Profit in Paradise? Don’t you think that’s stupid?”

“Yes, me, you’re right.” I said to me. “You’re being stupid and so am I. Nothing personal.”

After relaying this discourse to Nora, she summarized perfectly: “It’s about thinking outside of the box.”
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1 Challah = braided bread traditionally eaten by Jews on Shabbat and other holidays. P.S. The soft inside is most yummy.

2 Bimah = the elevated area or platform in a Jewish synagogue.