I hesitate to say "Happy New Year!" Happiness is such an abstract, far reaching concept. You know? I propose instead that we have a meaningful year, one filled with enough laughter and love to carry us through whatever we're slammed by.
Now, a return to some oddities. Taken directly
from on-line dating ads, here are reasons #34-39
for this single lady to stay celibate. Naturally, I added my snark.{Should you be interested in further punishment, you can find 250 reasons for celibacy in this little book. Plus other silly weirdness like fake interviews with the stars, and my series of poetic erotica.}
Please laugh and/or be perplexed and/or be glad for your relationship status - whatever it is.
Keep a smile, and be good to yourselves.
I love ya.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REASON #34: I am very laid back. I speek my mind. I like to go to the movies rock concerts. Like the Flintstones? Do you drive with your bare feet on the road too?
REASON #35: The other brothers try and deny but when a pretty female walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face, you know what happens.Are you trying to say that you're a butthead? If this made you laugh then I am the guy for you, because that is exactly what I love doing. Making people laugh. You’ve got some work ahead of you, sweetheart.
REASON #36: Me Man You Woman Headline need help, Tarzan.
REASON #37: We love Zeppelin, and great food, and real literature. My wife wants a threesome. That sounds great to me! Can't wait to try. She is looking for a very specific sort of girl. We hope you are it. I’m appalled. This isn’t even craigslist. Try Zeppelin’s daughter. Her name is Scarlet, so she’s probably into threesomes.
REASON #38: Intelligent, articulate, chivalrous, romantic, very passionate, open minded, dominant but never domineering and sensual. Great kisser (I practice a lot when I am alone!). Hint: I wouldn’t publicize this. Sense of humor - (I laugh at all of my jokes}! (Great way to take one for the team, buddy). I don't expect you to be barbie or perfect, but I only want to have to carry you part of the time! I don’t want your hands on me any of the time! I have a profoundly spiritual nature. Sweep me off my feet, Grow with me and be the yang to my yin and help me balance out the incredible male energy, passion and charisma I posses! I am worth your time! namaste. Kindly do not kum-ba-ya all kissy kissy in my garden. Namaste.
REASON #39: Looking For a Friend First I want to meet a women that wants to make a commitment to spend the rest of are life's together. Let me get this straight, you want to make a a friend who’ll commit to you for the rest of “are life's”? That’s kind of an oxymoron, and so are you.
