Martha Stewart's Enemy Elixir, A-Z Challenge

Hello, I'm Martha Stewart. I decided that my inability to get a good *bleep*, or any *bleep* for that matter, is due to my competition. Men don't seem to realize that us --Martha clears her throat-- mature women can get rough and naughty like the other gals. So I've created the enemy elixir. This should put the competition out long enough to have a good *bleep* with their consciously uncoupled partners. I'll give you the formula upon receipt of $650,000. First, watch this! I think that Paltrow *bleep* is about to fall for it!