Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and what a month it's been. Let's take a look back. Shall we? You've seen my Hefty Heffer Hideaway, with enough flappy fat in which to stash a Cuisinart. You caught glimpses from my scandalous sex tape series. I sported my very manly chest, then belched and grabbed my crotch, when on Testosterone. I cleaned up inside with the handy dandy Vaginal Vac. Don't forget that a clean beaver always gets more wood. Last night, some Yearlong Yuletide cheer did me in. Best of all, Arnold thinks it's great. And so do you. Admit it. I'll sell it all to you -- the whole alphabet's worth of items combined in this lovely Zen of Martha Stewart's Adult Lifestyle Combination Package -- for $70 million. Just buy it. You know you want to. *Wink.* Is this *bleep'n* thing finally over? *Bleep* That little *bleep* who runs this blog. She's a sick *bleep*! Oh, hi. I didn't know the cameras were still rolling. Tootles!
