Spring Erotica

Dear Sillies,

Spring hath Sprung! That said, apologies for Martha's typical intrusion in my collages, and for...

Love ya!

Saint Patrick's Erotica

Dearest Sillies,

I've not been to Ireland. Have you? It looks spectacularly green and pretty, though I'd bypass the bar scene. At any rate, have a very happy and lucky week. Don't overdo it. I suspect you won't. You're too smart for that.  

If anyone named Charlie or Chuck reads this, apologies. It's not personal. Your name is oh so rhyme worthy, though. 

Love you, my loves.

WINNER, WINNER, Catfish Dinner!

Dear Sillies,

We have a winner! It was close until the final voting hours.

A feline diva takes this year's victory! Sorry, SWS, I hope she won't be even more insufferable. But oh, her poetic savvy. 

BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Her Royal Highness!

Thanks to all who submitted and voted and visited. I love you. Enjoy the day and buy chocolate TOMORROW when it's on sale. 

Here's this year's winning entry:

Dedicated to all the many tomcats out there who broke my heart over the years:

"This is for you

Without paradox --

A heart-shaped poop

In my litterbox."

Valentine's Day Hatefest! Let the Voting Begin

 DEAR SILLIES, VOTE FOR THE ENTRY YOU LOVE TO HATE THE MOST. Please note too that Debra She Who Seeks was honest. HRH, not so much. That diva. SWS reached out to see if she could enter even though HRH had already done so. I told her that we all want to see her entry. None of us can control that feline diva.

Enjoy. We're voting for the fun of it. ---------------

Birgit

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
I'd rather be dead
Than eat that chocolate doo doo.

 

Her Royal Highness

Dedicated to all the many tomcats out there who broke my heart over the years:
"This is for you
Without paradox --
A heart-shaped poop
In my litterbox."

 

Debra She Who Seeks

At least I have not quit.
I still have a chance.
At least I have not hit
The rock bottom of romance.
At least I'm not a total shit
Like couch fucker JD Vance!

 

Joanne

My official entry. Note - I'm married to a Texan. 37 years. Pray for my soul in these dark times. I'm not necessarily trying for the pity vote....but, whatever works

Lover turned MAGA
Sadly my life ain't funny
All I can do
Is turn up Bad Bunny

                                     ------------------------------------------------

I love you, Sillies!

Antidote Chocolate Review and our February Hatefest!

My Dear Sillies,

Time for a chocolate review. This Antidote chocolate, tagged "chocolate that loves you back", contains anise seeds and sun-dried tomato. Hmm, interesting. Would you try it?

Well, I did, and I did it for YOU. The bar's 70 percent cacao and relatively low in sugar (24 grams). Marketed as "artisan" and made in Ecuador, one Antidote bar will cost you approximately 12 USD. 

I lucked out! I hadn't noticed the price, and there wasn't a price on it. The lovely checker decided to charge me $4.99. Woohoo. 

My critique? Well, it tasted sour and plastic-y at first. But I enjoyed a sweet and smooth aftertaste. The anise and tomato don't over power the candy; it's a well blended mix. So, yeah, decent. Yet I still find it outrageously priced, unless you're lucky like me. 

All in all, I didn't love it. It didn't love me back. 

I'll give it a 6 out of 10.

NEXT: It's February. We know what that means. Get your creative juices flowing for Life by Chocolate's annual Valentine's Hatefest. 

Post an anti-Valentine's Day slogan, graphic, haiku or whatever in my comments section. Or post it to your blog and reference it here. 

You'll vote on the hate you love the most. Our winner will receive loads of attention here, at the very least. So even if you've won in the past, HRH, enter again this year. Only one entry per customer please. Ready, set, show us your V Day hate!  

Thank you for 2MILLION+ views! I Love You Times A Million Times Two!

 My Sillies! My Sillies! We did it. We broke 2M pageviews! It took approximately 17 persistent and spunky years, peppered by visits from creepsterinos who like a good erotic hashtag (as everyone should), and YOU. You came. You stayed. You played. You returned. 
   As the numbers crept closer to 2M, Jennifer Lopez hit it home for us - in all her hotness and incomparable wisdom: "I judge people by their smell." That JLo. 

  Here's a screenshot of yesterday's pageview number.

Here's an ecstatic me: 

   Below you might find a video recording of an ecstatic me (my status quo, without chocolate even). I'm unsure you'll be able to play it. You see, my tech skills have improved A LOT but -clearly-not enough.   
   Also, I find it harder to share vids here than it used to be. Or is it just me?

I LOVE YOU!  I THANK YOU! I WOULDN'T BE A DOUBLE MILLIONAIRESS WITHOUT YOU!

Interview with Jennifer Lopez! Senseless Distraction

My Dear Sillies,

Who's up for a senseless distraction from all the yuck? If you are, read on. If you're not, you've come to the wrong place and I don't know what to tell you. Well, I do: Tinder. It's great for yuck. 

Back on point, I recycled and updated this recycled, uppity, outdated oldie who likes to date and have as many fancy schmancy weddings as she can get paparazzi and one man to attend. That man has most often been the excruciatingly boring Ben Affleck.

Now on a wedding hiatus, today's guest graciously agreed to drop by Life by Chocolate's studio. So let's welcome the sultry and always-ready-to-be-a-bride Jennifer Lopez.

JLo dazzles in glamorous, intricately sequined, multi-colored  shimmering shades of pink and lavender accented by subtle splashes of silver diamonds, fit and sexy dance ware.

Robyn, in torn jeans and a tank top that reveals her wide and low-hanging boobies, plus newly excited nipples, strolls over to greet her.

Robyn: Sorry um, we're super casual here.

*All JLo quotes are real.*

JLo: I judge people on how they smell, not how they look. 

Robyn sniffs her right underarm, realizing she forgot to use deodorant this morn. Stay away from me, girlfriend, she jokes but not really. 

JLo keeps a smile.  Robyn: You like to have weddings. How many times have you actually married, I mean, to different men? 

JLo: I've been married three times and once was nine months and once was 11 months so I don't really count those.

Robyn: You don't count the short ones?  Robyn holds up her index finger and thumb, 4 or so inches apart, bringing them closer and closer as she speaks. Girlfriend, I, well, I understand. 

JLo nods. I believe in love. Robyn: Did you just make that up all by yourself? 

JLo: It's a shame to call someone a 'diva' because they work harder than everybody else.

Robyn: Wait, harder than everybody else? Harder than the 18 year old barely-adult soldiers who fight on the front lines for our freedoms day and night, month after month, year after year? Harder than the single parents with three or more kids to feed and clothe and house after their spouse, who was their provider, abandoned the family to shack up with the hot, young blonde he hired to be his Robyn uses air quotes "assistant"? Harder than--

JLo blows a kiss and dances off the stage in some maneuvers that make Robyn's nipples perk up like never before.

Robyn to the audience:  Good thing she can dance. And she's hot. But oh, her ex husband's bestie, Matt Damon? Yeah, talk about a true alpha male but insanely humble and beautiful hottie, am I right? I've been waiting for 25 years to get him. Err, to get him on this show. 

Thanks for being here, my friends! 'Til next time.

Happy 2026! I Miss Dick

My Dear Sillies,

Here's hoping 2026 started off well, and that it's a decent year. At the very least. May it bring love, joy, and laughter - in spite of it all. 

Do keep a smile and a stash of good chocolate on hand.

I love you.

I'm still missing Dick...