I'd been quiet about JT because things were going so smoothly and giddily. Our chemsitry was comfortable and fun; our attraction, consistently strong. He'd cook for me several times a week. We trekked to the beach, to San Francisco Bay, and many local destinations. We also just stayed in and played Scrabble and other indoor games. Wink. All in all, I've felt more joyous love for JT than I've felt for any other man in my life.
BUT (You knew this was comin') in the past month or so, he'd distanced himself and failed to communicate. My every attempt to talk only made things worse.
BUT, BUT the lovey-dovey moments and messaging continued even through this Friday evening, for 2.25 YEARS. Despite this, it's gonna be another heartache tonight and tomorrow night and the next night and so on.
When I dropped by his home yesterday, this discourse ensued:
"I was going to call you," his tone, stoic. "I'm going to stay in tonight."
"Okay, alright." Disappointed but not surprised, I ask: "Anything else?"
"No. That's all."
"Well what if I have something to say?"
"I don't know how to talk to you anymore." A bucket of tears pours down my cheeks. "Do you even want to keep me in your life?"
"I DON'T KNOW."
You don't f*ckin know?! "You have no idea how much you're hurting me."
My friends, I got no explanation, no kindness, no apology, none of the thoughtfulness that I love/d so much about JT. Not even a lousy t-shirt with the logo "He doesn't want this." Dude simply reiterated that he has nothing to say. He doesn't want "this."
I know I deserve better, my Dear Sillies.
I love you, and I know you're here and there and wherever for me through this heartache. Please and thank you.
On a happier note: Happy 12th Anniversary to the IWSG! I'm into my 14th year of blogging and even more exciting, I'm slowly approaching 1 MILLION VIEWS. I can't wait to become a millionaire! We'll celebrate in sweet style. Please do stick around.