VDay Hatefest Contest! VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

My Dear silly creatives, 

This year's annual VDay hatefest entries are the best ever! This is gonna be tough. Please pick one and only one that's your favorite. Vote for anyone but your own. Note that there's always one rule breaker; 25 words was the max. (But a man of the cloth must be forgiven.)

Thanks for playing. 

You're such a fun crew. How can I not love you? I do.

 

Alex J. Cavanaugh 

Blood splatter is red
Ultraviolet lights are blue
I've seen enough murder movies
That they'll never find you!

 Elephant's Child 

Roses are red, violets are blue,
A night with chocolate pisses on one with you...

 Mike Will you be my valentine? I could stand to save some money.

 Debra She Who Seeks
A nip and tuck
Improves romantic luck
Helps you find a cute guy in a truck
And finally get that . . .
[Oops, word limit reached]

 Birgit

You're so special to me
but you nag rather than let things be.
Now you are buried under that old oak tree.

Geo.

Lupercalia To Valentine
From Lupercalia to St. Val.
It's time for every guy and gal
To tryst under our lunar disk
And exercise their asterisks.

Debbie D.  

Valentine's Day is almost here
The merchants rub their hands with glee
Silly people live in fear
Don't they know that love is free?

Jeff  

My woman hates chocolate
so I'll not buy chocolate unless its for myself,
for no one else will,
and if I buy my own,
it (25 word mark here) won't be Hersey's nor milk chocolate,
I want it dark and rich...
And while I'm at it, cupid is stupid,
and so is keeping account of number of my words.

Mary Kirkland 

I'm widowed.
I don't want chocolates.
I want a huge ribeye steak that I can eat alone in peace. lol 

 

 Al Penwasser 

I went to the store
To purchase some heartfelt love
Eff. Super Bowl's on!