For the furr-st time in Life by Chocolate's history, the winner of our contest is not a human being. She's a feline being. But not an ordinary feline, mind you. She's royalty. That's right. The winner of our anti-Valentine's Day Fairytale Be Damned contest is . . .Her Royal Highness!
As Her Majesty endures relentless cat calls and photo shoots on the cat walk between cat naps, I shall ask her humanoid, Debra, to humbly accept the award in her honor.
Her Majesty's winning entry:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Violets are blue,
Toms pretend to be Super Cat
But are really Pepe le Pew.
On behalf of the acatamy, thank you all for your fantastic entries. Connie, Alex, Rosey, Silver Fox, and Pat were popular human contenders, but this feline categorically captured the win. She'll receive a sweet package pending her dietary friskiness. (Is she allergic to gluten? Lactose intolerant? Vegan? Our investigative team is on it.)
Let's learn more about our feline-us victor who catapulted to #1.
| Gender | FEMALE | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Industry | Consulting | ||||||||||||
| Occupation | Fabulous Feline, Occasional Guest Blogger, Internet Troll | ||||||||||||
| Location | The Afterlife, Over the Rainbow Bridge | ||||||||||||
| Introduction | To know, know, know me is to love, love, love me. And I do, yes I do. So should you. | ||||||||||||
| Interests | Myself |
Who can compete against a cat?
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Her Royal Highness!
Nobody, especially not against dead royal cat. You humanoids did make her work for it, though.
DeleteThanks, Silver Fox.
VICTORY IS MINE!!! Thank you, Robyn, and thanks to all the discerning connaisseurs of fine literature who voted for me. There is absolutely NO need for that parasitical leech, Debra She Who Seeks, to accept anything on my behalf. It was ME who wrote that deathless poem (worthy of Shakespaw himself) and it will be ME who accepts your prize-winning chocolate package! Don't let her tell you any BUSHWA about cats not being able to eat chocolate or some such nonsense. Being beyond the Rainbow Bridge already, I can eat ANYTHING I DAMN WELL WANT. Except coconut, I hate coconut.
ReplyDeleteYour Majesty, it's an honor. Coconut is so paws-say, isn't it? You knew you had the humans beat all along, didn't you? Congratulations, HRH. I'll be seeking chocolate covered mice for you. Who needs Fancy Feast, right?
DeleteOh gawd, HRH is going to be absolutely insufferable to live with now that she's a grand contest winner . . . thanks so much, everyone. No, really. This is just what I needed to make my existence complete. I am never going to hear the end of this. Never.
ReplyDeleteOh no, Debra. I can only imagine. I'm very sorry. What's good for HRH is catastrophic for you.
DeleteHAHA! I love it! HRH is the only internet troll I'll put up with. Poor Debra...I can't imagine what she'll have to put up with now :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, she's the only likeable internet troll, isn't she? Despite her big ego.
Deletehaha nothing wrong with a cat beating all flat
ReplyDeleteYou're used to that too
Deleteat your mat
Pat.
Congratulations Her Royal Highness! *curtsy*
ReplyDeleteThanks, JoJo. I'm sure she appreciates all the cheer.
Deletecongrats to the feline queen of damnation. Funny stuff. And congrats to all the contestants - they never disappoint. Oh you collect a wacky crew, Robyn. Have a super weekend
ReplyDeleteA great weekend to you too, Joanne. Thank you kindly.
DeleteCongratulations to the Majesty!
ReplyDeleteShe meowed, "Thank you, Ninja. Yes I did."
DeleteCongratulations to Her Royal Highness! Purr-haps, you should get her some catnip instead of chocolate.
ReplyDeleteOh, good idea, Connie. Thank you. I was a bit puzzled by what to shop for. Catnip it is.
DeleteI voted for her! But then, I voted for everybody.
ReplyDeleteShe's the only cat you voted for, Geo.
DeleteMy vote for HRH was influenced by my own Princess Puffy Pants. She gave me an "I told you so" look when I read the results to her. I know that Debra will contact her on the other side with my congratulations.
ReplyDeleteSome day, may Princess Puffy Pants and HRH meet for shared cattiness and catpetizers. I believe they'd get along splendidly.
DeleteThank you, Terry. I appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteI know..I missed this Valentine hate day because..I couldn’t think of anything snarky. I could only think about my mom and how she was always sweet on this day. Now, I love what people had written and this one was beyond hilarious so she deserves the win
ReplyDelete