My Story, Yours Too.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Anti-Valentine's Day Contest Entries! VOTE NOW!

Dear Silly Hearts,
   To follow, you'll find 10 fabulous entries for Life by Chocolate's Anti-Valentine's Contest. The theme is "Damn be the fairytale!" Please vote for one and only one that's your favorite. I know, it's tough. Who knew there are so many great poets in my clan? You really impress! 
   Submit your vote (in the comments) by midnight EST on 2/14.
   Winner will be announced shortly thereafter, when flowers and chocolate prices return to normal.
   Thank you!
   Love and sweetness.
A fairytale life for about thirty years,
then an unrestful husband left me in arrears.
It took two full calendars to find stable ground
but happiness being single is sincerely what I've found.

-Make your own fairytale 

A Heron's View
The APPLE and the KNIFE

Question not
fresh russet fruit
For I, this blade
Would pierce
Your tender skin

Letting your juices
run to air
or even lie wet
upon the ground.

Profanities may assail
from the family tree
But what cares I
For am I
not a blade, sharp
well honed?

And you
A fruit
well spun
lying in the shade
for collection?

Come leap dear
We need no Vicar!

© 1982 MRL .

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Toms pretend to be Super Cat
But are really Pepe le Pew.

The Silver Fox
Too many gals or fellas
Have dreamed of Cinderella,
Or maybe it's Snow White
That's gotten them uptight.

But "Happ'ly ever after"
To me, just leads to laughter.
I'll shout it from my pulpit
That "love always" is bullshit.
There's far too many "good sports"
Who wound up in divorce courts.

Forego your geniality!
You need to face reality!
Let Sail The Fairytale.
Love be a sweet song
Often misinterpreted
For love of the Ding Dong.

Many cum
Few get to stay
Still we like to gamble
At risk of The Betray.

 It's mostly a charade
 To sell flowers and shit 
  Even the buyers
  Just wanna get jiggy wit it.

It's a pathetic game
To percolate shame.
Feel the stigma attached
To being left on the shelf
I one 'upped' them fuckers
And made love to my own self.

Who wants a princess with pumpkin seeds between her toes and mice for friends anyway?

No longer will I sit and pine.
You won't hear me cry or whine 
for a paper heart with a sappy line.
I don't need a Valentine!

All offers from you 
I will decline,
because I don't need you
to say, "Will you be mine?"
I don't need a man to be defined.
I don't need the two of us to be combined.
I am complete by design.
Get lost now. Go away, you swine.

Instead, I'll treat MYSELF! I'll dine!
I'll pour MYSELF a glass of wine.

Don't worry about me. 
My life's just fine.
Being single is quite divine!
I'll be my own love--I'll be MINE!
I'll be my own Valentine!

Love myself? Well its cheaper, I get what I want, and there is no one to kick out in the morning. 
Don't have to tell me twice.

Hakuna Matata under the sea and drown valentine notions with a bippity boppity bee.

It was the year I decided to tell Martha the truth about my feelings for her, but I was still afraid of her reaction. “What better time than Valentine’s Day,” I thought. The winter had been cold and she had been giving me looks that were intended to draw me to her and bend me to her will. She would pucker her lips at me when she thought no one else was looking and sensuously suck on a lollipop when she knew I would notice. She wanted what they all want from me, but Martha was never subtle about it. She thought she could woo me with her homemaker skills and her “sexy” ways. Finally the day had arrived and I was psyched up. There she was! “Martha, you depraved succubus, stay the hell away from me!” Maybe now I would have some peace. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Janie Junebug
My nails are painted a bloody red.
Send me chocolate on the worst fucking day of the year
or you'll wish you were dead.
Love, Little Red Riding Snood


  1. Some great ones indeed. Silver Fox gets my vote.

  2. Tough call. Her Royal Highness gets my vote.

  3. In a crowd of of fine sentiment
    I surely cannot forget
    the lines spun Connie
    are funny and rhymey
    so Connie gets my vote for it.

    What fun this was, Robyn.
    be your own,

  4. Well, conflict of interest disqualifies me from considering Her Royal Highness's entry. And it's a hard choice among so many fine entries, but I vote for mail4rosey!

  5. There is some serious talent here and it is so hard to choose, but Her Royal Highness is my fave.

  6. Thank you, to my early voters!
    Sweetness and love to you.

  7. Her Royal Highness although Pat's made me giggle, too.

  8. Several good candidates there, but I should really abstain from voting because I have an entry. Sorry.

  9. It might be biased but I am voting for Her Royal Highness. If that doesn't count then I'll vote for mail4rosey.

  10. Thank you!
    Happy Chocolate Day too. =) xo

  11. all so good. But I like Connie's poem.......dang good stuff
    Chocolates to you my friend (the really tasty rich expensive stuff)

  12. My vote goes to Alex. Fun contest and great entries!

  13. Alex Cavanaugh's cracked me up! That's my vote!

  14. Thank you for voting! Ballots are being sent to Florida for confirmation. Announcement pending.

    Happy Day of Chocolate Sales!

  15. Lots of great entries. I'm a little late to vote. Looking forward to seeing who is selected as the winner.

  16. I like the Silver Fox and Alex J., but some great ones in there.
    Thanks for the fun!