Berning up in California! Loving My (our) Bernie Sanders

My Dear Sillies,
   Whatever your politics, we all have big hearts and want the best for humankind. That said, how can anyone not admire Bernie Sanders' perseverance? I'm ashamed to admit, I gave up on him a while back, believing he was duped and that his ship (which perhaps pre-dates the Mayflower) had sailed. 
   But my Bernie is an unstoppable warrior. He never gave up. He never strayed from his vision. So I'm back to publicizing my love for this world wonder.
   Guess what! Bernie Sanders visited Chico and Paradise, last week. I didn't see him, though many of my friends did. I'm still cherishing my memories of having met the man two years ago. I even had a date with Bernie Sanders. (Click link at end of this post for photographic proof.)
   Senator Bernie Sanders is so omnipresent that you can find him in many forms.
   Here's one:

Outfits include: basketball and track uniform, Vermont garb with snow shoes, flannel shirt and bottle of maple syrup, guitar player, SNL costume, birdwatcher, filibusterer, and a superhero.

Let's see what reviewers have to say:

5 stars great fun for Sanders supporters -- Bernie with a multitude (15) of fun paper doll outfits

For Bernie supporters who can't let go of the dream this is a great gift or self-soother -- and it's really fun.   

She read my naughty mind.

One disappointed customer ~
3.0 out of 5 stars Very disappointed, good quality and I love Bernie Sanders. You called these paper dolls, they are not. Nice collectors item. Wish Bernie was wearing those empty clothes. The only way these would be paper dolls, you would have to cut them out of the heavy paper. Be more clear. They were for my granddaughters. Make another "book" with Bernie in those clothes. Make a real paper doll collection for kids. Thanks, Love my Bernie.

 Me too, sweetheart. Try the self-soothing method. 

And the Bernie Sanders Chia Pet ~

Five Stars

funny...can't wait to cover his head with seeds. fast shipping

Perhaps my favorite review of all time:

Nunya Bidness

1.0 out of 5 stars Oh man, not again...

Ordered Bernie, received Hillary.  

For more Bernie fun, see photos here of my date with Bernie Sanders in 7/17.

I just love my Bernie. 

Naughty Teacher: TeachErotica

Dear Sillies,
   It's back to school time. I'm excited to report that YOUNG STUDENTS HAVE RETURNED TO SCHOOLS IN PARADISE! How amazing is that?! School staff, parents, kids, and contractors went to work to restore, clean, and upgrade schools and classrooms in every way possible. Playgrounds were re-equipped with all the same play equipment that burned on November 8.  
   Now, less than 10 months since the Camp Fire tore them apart, children are greeting each other with giddy hugs and taking seats in their Paradise classrooms. It's as beautiful as it is miraculous. 

   But let's transition to adult(ified) education. Shall we? Higher ed and hands on learning can be explosive and memorable too. Learning should be fun, right? Please enjoy, but excuse Martha Stewart's dad bod. That woman has no shame!

Take care of yourselves, and happy back to school time!

The Shocking, Uncensored Interview with E.T.

Dear Sillies,
   I've collaborated with my fun and silly friend, Powdered Toast Man. He is so outrageous. You should follow him, if you aren't already.
   Disclaimer: I'm very sorry. We didn't realize ET was so sexually depraved, until I channeled him for this interview. Feel free to move along, if you want to remember his sweet innocence.
   Thank you, and be good to yourselves.

PTM (Powdered Toast Man) - Thank you E.T. for coming on the show today. I am glad you could fit us into your busy schedule.

E.T. - Yeah, it's tight, but that's how I like it.

PTM - I can see where this interview is headed already. How much of the Stephen Spielberg movie is based on true events?

E.T. - What movie?

PTM - I am not prepared to open that can of worms. I will have to have a one on one with Drew later. So, what is Drew Barrymore really like?

E.T. - She's all grown up now, hot as ever. Between us guys, though, she's dumb as my doorknob and twice as loose.

PTM - Are you referring to an actual doorknob or your penis? And I thought you liked it tight? Never mind, I don't want to know. Which Golden Girls character is your favorite and why?

E.T. - Estelle Getty because of the tightness factor.

PTM - I guess that answers my previous question. Betty White is my gal, bigger rack. Where do you shop to find clothes that fit?

E.T. - Pee Wee Plus Sizes for the Short and Thick

PTM -  Must be an online only store, I have never heard of it. Are you dating anyone right now?

E.T. - Yeah, Drew and I are still dating. It's an open relationship. Punky Brewster's a side dish, along with all of the Bachelorette rejects. 

PTM - I call her Soleil Moon Frye. The restraining order states I can't call her Punky Brewster anymore. I heard a rumor that you haven't spoken to Elliot in 5 years. What happened?

E.T. -  He didn't invite me to his Bar Mitzvah, and that really hurt. But he eventually apologized, gave me a phone and lots of rides. *Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.*

PTM - You are one horny little alien. I would love to harness your sex drive. You were recently with Drew being interviewed by Rawkn Robyn on Life by Chocolate. I have always had a big crush on her. Since you were close enough to see, I have to ask. Are they real?

E.T. -  I once got my finger stuck in them for hours. She loved it. Yes. They're real, and they're spectacular!

PTM - I hope you get an endorsement check for that Seinfeld reference. For once and for all, what does E.T. actually stand for?

E.T. - Emerging Testicles 

PTM - That raises a lot more questions that we really don't have time for right now. What is your biggest accomplishment?

E.T. -    Bea Arthur. She's 5'10".

PTM - That picture will be burned into my brain forever. Camera man #3 is your biggest fan. He wants to know if he can buy you a drink after the show?

E.T. -  No, Betty White hates it when I'm late - or premature. 

PTM - I hope you carry lube, she must be like a desert down there. Let's turn the tables for a minute. I am going to let you ask me a few questions. I haven't done this in awhile. I am a little gun shy after what happened with Dustin Diamond. You get 3 questions.

E.T. - Briefs, boxers, or commando and why?

PTM - None of the above. I have worn Speedos since I was nine.

E.T. - What's your favorite sexual position? 

PTM - It is a toss up between the German shepherd and lazy grasshopper.

E.T. - Do you have a recommendation for loose bowels? I'm asking for a friend.

PTM - Cut down on the anal sex. Twice a month is recommended. Ask Dr. Phil. 

E.T. - *Holds up two wet thumbs*

PTM - That is all the time we have plus E.T. soiled the chair cushion twice. I knew I should have put down newspaper. See ya next time. 

E.T. -  Dope! Catch ya on the flip side. 

It feels so damn good to work with my buddy, PTM, again. And again, check him out here. Thank you, PTM!