Happy Hanukah or Chanukah or Hanukka or Hanukkah...and other fun stuff!

Dear Sillies,

Sorry I'm late to say "Happy Hanukah" (spelled per the steps below). It arrived fairly immediately after turkey was digested.

Debra She Who Seeks inspired the below tutorial, little does she know. Her very entertaining Festival of Lights post motivated me to provide a lesson on how to spell the Jewish holiday.

 4 Easy Steps to Spelling this Jewish Holiday:

1) Start with "Ha". Or start with "Cha" (pronounced the Jewish Bubbe's* way, with a bit of phlegm in the throat.) *the Jewish grandma. We all love her.

2) Next, write "new." No, not like that! It's "nu" or "nnu" (with extra emphasis on the 'n', or choose one 'n' and make that particular one silent. You can alternatively choose the other 'n' and make that particular one silent. See how easy it is!?).

3) Then, spell "caw." But spell it like "kah" or "kkah" or "ka" or "kka." Anything but "caw" or "cah" or "ccah" or "ca" or "cca." Easy peasy, latke squeezy, right?

Got it? No? No worries. Bubbe's passed out on the couch. She went heavy on the Manischewitz, which is spelled without a 'v'. <--see next tutorial for this spelling. Go on now and spin the dreidel.

This man, JT, is good with a dreidel. He'd never spun one before; amazing.

If you can believe it--I can't--we're approaching SIX MONTHS. I know. He's pretty good, I'm thinking, and I'm thinking he's thinking the same about me. I don't want to post much on JT because I have no dirt, no weirdness, nothing scandalous to tell you. I also don't want to be sappy, lovey, Hallmark-y annoying, either.

Anyway, we played dreidel tonight. He asked when the game ends. I glanced at my wristwatch and told him, "In approximately 6,000 years, hon." He spun faster. 

-------------------------In Other News:

InSanity, my latest book, a memoir and sequel to Woman on the Verge of Paradise, is coming SOON to an Amazon link near you.

Here's a snippet of a FAILED book cover design. I tried using someone through a site called www.Fiverr.com. Were it a creepy sci fi book, this might almost work, but . . . The words under the title bother me most. This contractor took way too many creative liberties.

   I don't mind disparaging Fiverr.com. They only permit happy customers to leave reviews. You can't leave a review for a canceled order. So I'm warning you HERE against using them unless you do very thoughtful research first. (I found a 5-star, popular designer, so I thought I was safe. I didn't look further into this person, which I should've done.)

Good news, I have a new graphic designer who's phenomenal AND local.

You'll see. The SUCCESSFUL cover's brilliant.

Be well, friends.

Deep breaths as we enter December!

Happy Hanukah!

  Hanukah arrived! It’s an eight day celebration of  light, goodness, religious freedom (including the freedom to be a non-believer - how cool is that?!), and miracles. 
   Note that you can spell Hanukah approximately 215 different ways, so don’t worry. You'll get it right, so long as you don't double up on side-by-side vowels. Start with one "H" or "Ch." You'll be fine. 
   They say that every Jewish holiday is summarized as “They tried to kill us. We won. Let’s eat!”  

So Eat. Be merry and bask in life's miracles. They are everywhere to be found, still and despite it all.

  

HAPPY HANUKAH! 

May you appreciate a miracle or two today and always.

Reasons for Celibacy, #312-317 / Happy Hanukah!

Even though I have George in my life nowadays, I’m going to continue my Reasons for Celibacy series. There’s too much good material to use. Plus, I have to hit 500 reasons; I've  much further to go. So below, taken directly from internet dating ads, are reasons 312-317 for a smart, single, straight woman to choose celibacy. [One of these reasons includes someone I dated, #317.] Enjoy.

REASON #312: I am alive and live that way. 

Wow! You must be one of those people who can sleep when you’re asleep, masticate when you chew, and touch yourself privately!

REASON #313: hold your heart above your head

Dude, can you do that without breaking your neck?

REASON #314: Want the thruth?

No. I can’t handle the thruth! Thranks anyway.

REASON #315: I enjoy everything life has to differ…

You mean you like contrasting elements-- like fire and water, war and peace, Kate Middleton and Prince William?

REASON #316:  I have weird dynamics, not contrary to religious status, but to make our lives joyful. Whoa. I wonder if you’re an oxymoron or a Scientologist or something. Is your couch intact?

This one, REASON #317, I recognize. I dated and blogged about him in 2012. He was Delivery Boy. We shared fresh hot “pizza” with no string cheese attached. Here’s a snippet from a blog post:  One night after a frenzied take-out, I asked Delivery Boy about his route, expecting the typical reassurance he was apt to convey. “I’m the only one you deliver to, right? Do you see possible long-term arrangement for us?”

   He answered decisively: yes, of course I was the only one. No, we had no future. Delivery Boy wouldn’t commit to an exclusive partnership with anyone, not now or later. If another woman placed an order, though, he’d do the honorable thing and tell me before filling it.

   Delivery Boy was my age when we dated. We both have summer birthdays. Based on logic, old and new math, and common sense, we’re still the same age. I’m 48, so Delivery Boy’s…48. Check out his ad, though.

DO YOU HAVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS? IF YES..USE THEM Oh, I am. I am.

They have marked my birthdate incorrectly and unable to correct it on my end.....I am 38 not 37..... Strong sincere honest communication is key to a meaningful friendship.........This creates a strong more sincere understanding of each other........For starters, I'll use my communication skills to state that you’re a lying ***bleep*** ***bleep!*** Really? 37? Your baldness and inability to ***bleep*** tell a different story.

Thank goodness I have George, and he shows no signs of aging - if you know what I mean. Wink.

            ~~~~~~~~~~<><><>~~~~~~~~~~

   Tomorrow night marks the beginning of Hanukah. It’s an eight day celebration of  light, goodness, and miracles. 
   Note that you can spell Hanukah approximately 215 different ways, so don’t worry. You'll get it right, so long as you don't double up on side-by-side vowels. Start with one "H" or "Ch." You'll be fine. 
   They say that every Jewish holiday is summarized as “They tried to kill us. We won. Let’s eat!” So Eat. Be merry and bask in life's miracles. 

HAPPY CHANUKAH!