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Showing posts with label biker impotence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label biker impotence. Show all posts

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Biker Impotence: Woman on the Verge of Paradise

I consistently have bad luck with two things: (1) cameras and (2) men. Regarding the former, I buy cheap cameras that don't tend to last more than a few months before the lens won't open, or I can't snap a photo, or something else has gone wrong like it slips out of my hands and lands on a concrete surface. I don't want to purchase a good camera, because I can't afford one, especially given I'd likely break it too...This is all to say that I won't be doing Sundays in My City for while. My camera stopped working.

Regarding (2), I have no explanation. But I invite you to read excerpts from the novel I'm drafting, Woman on the Verge of Paradise. I post these randomly, with no rhyme or reason, except that I think they'll entertain. If you're offended by, say, erectile dysfunction or curse words, please move on and visit my other posts. This one's not for you. Thank you. Otherwise, I'm curious as to whether any of your friends have experienced anything like this, or if it's just my bad luck with men...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...His plush, king-sized bed seemed a glamorous place for my first post-Justin liaison. But as he pressed his body against mine, moving up and down, lowering his hand to do some work down there, he sighed.

   "Sorry," Tony said. "Let me keep trying."

   Shit. Just my luck. Guy can't get it up!

   I was hot, wet and, though impatient, pretended not to be. "It's all right, really." Damnit!

   "It's not you. I really want you, Robyn."

   Why would I think that your failure to get it up would be a shortcoming on my part? It's not my penis. "I know. It's okay. We can try again tomorrow."

   Despite frustrations, we fell asleep shortly thereafter.

--

   "I know what it was!" Tony's exclamation awoke me from a sound sleep.

   "Huh?" I opened my eyes and saw that he was smiling. "What is it?"

   "I know why it didn't work. I went on a ten mile bike ride yesterday morning. I remember hearing on the radio that bicyclists sometimes have problems getting an erection."

   "Oh, okay. That's good, honey." I closed my eyes, prepared to go back to sleep. Then, I popped up, eyes wide opened. "Tony--"

   "Yeah?"

   "Will you stop riding your bike, please?"

   "Definitely."
    _____
As a public service announcement, if any of your "friends" have experienced biker impotence, Dr. Anthony Komaroff of Harvard Medical School states:
"If you feel tingling or numbness in your penis, stop riding for a week or two. These are warning signs that your biking could lead to erectile problems."