The cast and crew of Life by Chocolate love your love-hate. Citizens came* from far and wide to cast their write-in comments and votes. We need another day or so to analyze the competition.
I'm highly disturbed to say that Al Penwasser's entry had some *unidentified fluids that need be run through airport security. Janie Junebug's numerous identities, added to a few seemingly legitimate voters she'd clearly done personal (i.e., sexual) favors for, but whose names aren't listed on our travel roster, confused us even more. While Elizabeth Seckman imparts a clear, clean, wise message, the race is too tight to call.
Tune in tomorrow (Or Tuesday. Sorry. We're really confused and need some more time to toss a coin) at Life by Chocolate for the polling results.
Sadly, two candidates didn't drop out willingly. I kicked them out. Yet I love them. Their entries were hysterically original. Please enjoy and HAPPY CHOCOLATE DAY, my friends.
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Elsie Amata
I think someone needs to write a poem to Cam Newton. He was a grumpy cat last night:
Poor Cam you got sacked
in the process your shoulder looked jacked
I'm sorry that your team got beat
and you walked off the field in defeat
at least your team made it to the big game
my team, the Giants didn't, how very lame
no Super Bowl ring for your Valentine this year
only chocolates, flowers, and some salty tears
maybe this will humble your arrogant ass
remember this too shall pass
Poor Cam you got sacked
in the process your shoulder looked jacked
I'm sorry that your team got beat
and you walked off the field in defeat
at least your team made it to the big game
my team, the Giants didn't, how very lame
no Super Bowl ring for your Valentine this year
only chocolates, flowers, and some salty tears
maybe this will humble your arrogant ass
remember this too shall pass
OK, I was shooting for a limerick but most of my poetry just gets long winded. Here is my thought..Valentine’s Day Bust
He sat on his chair, immersed in despair
As he pondered the path of his life.
It didn’t seem fair, being only one in a pair
when all his buddies had acquired a wife.
But then he heard ‘her”, though her speech was a slur “Honey, would you buy me a beer?
His vision quite hazey, am maybe it’s crazy,
But he said “Let’s get out of here.”
WELL…He awoke in a bed with a pain in his head
The events of the night but a blur
He looked to the right to a troubling sight.
The parts he saw weren’t a “her”.
Yep, not to be crude but the babe was a dude.
This isn’t quite what he thought it should be.
He might of got laid, but mistakes had been made.
His dream women was clearly a “he.
So if you are in a bar and your drunker too far
for choosing your companion for life
If you’re wanting a chick make sure there’s no d…
Well…Depending on what you want in a wife.
He sat on his chair, immersed in despair
As he pondered the path of his life.
It didn’t seem fair, being only one in a pair
when all his buddies had acquired a wife.
But then he heard ‘her”, though her speech was a slur “Honey, would you buy me a beer?
His vision quite hazey, am maybe it’s crazy,
But he said “Let’s get out of here.”
WELL…He awoke in a bed with a pain in his head
The events of the night but a blur
He looked to the right to a troubling sight.
The parts he saw weren’t a “her”.
Yep, not to be crude but the babe was a dude.
This isn’t quite what he thought it should be.
He might of got laid, but mistakes had been made.
His dream women was clearly a “he.
So if you are in a bar and your drunker too far
for choosing your companion for life
If you’re wanting a chick make sure there’s no d…
Well…Depending on what you want in a wife.
