My Dear Sillies,
I’m far beyond annoyed with internet creepsters. From now on, this will resemble my discourse with every creepsterino who “friends” me:
Creepsterino: Hello š it’s nice to meet you and how are
you doing today?
THEN, before I respond, but after I block him, which apparently
didn't take: Can you understand what I am saying?
Me: Yes. Since you just
want to be friends like all the others, I need to know if
you are honest. Send me your full legal name, plus credit card number
with expiration date and CVC code. (Hint: This code is on the back of the card; you need to turn it over.) If you don't have a credit card, don’t worry!
I’ll just take your social security number. Next, my boyfriend will run a security clearance
check within 72 hours! Sorry for the delay, but he’s screening 286 men before
you. A woman must be careful. Surely such a nice, intellectual man like yourself can appreciate that.
Me,
before he responds: For
the sake of full transparency, this is my boyfriend. Can you understand what I
am saying?
Be well, my Darling Sillies.
May you have no creepsterino visits. If you do, I'll send my sweetheart over to make sure that said creepsterino can understand. Afterall, that's what friends are for.
Love, hugs, and chocolate!
Hahaha! That should scare him off. I get these every day, especially on Instagram. Ignore/block is the tactic I use, but yours is more fun.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Debbie. Yeah, I do that too. I ignore, I block...but they return, the same ones, different ones, creepsterinos up the whazoo. Oy vey.
DeleteYup! šš That's the price of internet "fame" I guess...
DeleteSigh. I guess I'll take it. Ha. <3
DeleteI am so glad that I am not the target of these oxygen thieves. Not play FB or Instagram helps. However at the moment I am receiving multitudes of emails purportedly from women wanting a date with a hot man. What do they know that no-one has told me?
ReplyDeleteHaha. Yeah, the Viagra ones are most bizarre too. Oy vey. Thanks for chiming in about these oxygen thieves. Love ya.
DeleteI get porn stars following me on Twitter. Well, star is probably too generous of a word...
ReplyDeleteHa. I know, Alex, but given what it takes to be a "star" nowadays, I'm not so sure. Thanks for visiting, as always.
DeleteI wondered if creepsterino was a real or "urban" word. There were only two hits on google and what's really strange is your blog wasn't one of them. Do you have search engines blocked? I used to but thought I would go back to being available to the world. So far no problems.
ReplyDeleteThat is really bizarre, Mike. Thanks for checking, though. My blog has nearly 1M views - woohoo! But no creepsterino hits?? What's up with that? I probably have stuff blocked but I haven't a clue.
DeleteNo creepsterino is a match for you, Robyn!
ReplyDeleteYou tell 'em, girlfriend. Thank you! Go away, creepsterinos!
DeleteI get creepy guys like that following me on Facebook and sexy girls following Dancing Lemur Press's Twitter. I'm not sure which is worse.
ReplyDeleteI have a strong suspicion the creepsterinos are worse, Diane. Who doesn't like a sexy gal, afterall?
DeleteSmiles.
That's genius! I'm going to start asking them for loans before they can ask me.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Yes! Please, let me know how that works for you, Elizabeth. So far this fear tactic is only attracting more creepsterinos (not here, on Instagram). Oy vey.
DeleteHey hey. I'll bet you didn't hear back from the creepy one. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteHi, and great to see you again, Denise! Thanks for visiting. I wish it was that easy. They seem to like a challenge, those creepy ones. Oy vey.
DeleteHey - I don't get too many creeps, but it is weird when a stranger comments on an Instagram post and it's a tad too much. Tis an odd world these days. I may have to call your guy - he looks quite menacing. Good luck!
ReplyDelete