Dear Sillies,
I met someone a while ago, Bruce. He's very handsome. And very married. But wait...some men have friends.
Early last month, Bruce showed up to the patio where I perform open-mic comedy. See, Bruce started to do standup too.
His male friend sat across from me at a picnic table that evening.
Looks nice, defined cheek bones, muscular arms. "Hi, I'm Robyn," I extended my hand.
"I'm Justin,"* he smiled, conferring a handshake.
*Justin isn't really Bruce's friend's name. Justin's an alias for the love of my life's name in Woman on the Verge of Paradise. That man's real name was Bruce's friend's real name. I'd vowed to never date another with same name.
But the name similarity didn't cross my mind. Yikes. That's how a gal gets into trouble, right? Deny the red flags.
Justin and I chatted after the show until Jesus Christ--well, a comic who looks like the Western culture's image of Jesus-- interrupted. This hippie Jesus asked, "Robyn, I hate to bother you, but can I get a ride home?"
Shit, Jesus. Why me? Why now? "Car problems?"
"Nah, I'm just drunk."
I couldn't let drunken Jesus take the wheel. Damn. I turned to Justin,"I'm sorry. I'm performing on Saturday night, though. Eight o'clock."
"I'll see you then."
I left, thinking of Justin, as I dropped Jesus off in a dark alley. (The nice housing is only for the entitled richie riches around here.)
Stay hot. Stay cool.
Feel loved. You are.
Dropping Jesus off in a dark alley, LOL! And damn your use of pseudonyms -- here I thought maybe you'd taken up with Justin Trudeau! No, wait, he's married too. Oh well, good luck with Your New Justin!
ReplyDeleteSigh - Justin Trudeau. He does have friends, right, Debra?
DeleteHa. Thank you.
Jesus would never get in the house if you dropped him off in a dark alley because he'd be so busy healing everyone there.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Drunken Jesus walked all over them, I'm guessing. I was too scared to wait around, Janie.
DeleteLove.
You are the mistress of the cliff hanger. Damnit.
ReplyDeleteHa. Sorry but not really.
DeleteLove ya, EC.
"I'll see you then."
ReplyDelete"I'll be right back."
Gotcha.
DeleteTTYL, Mike.
=)
Robyn, I'm going by the closing picture: Jesus with a cigarette in His right hand and a beer in His left. I happen to know Jesus and He drinks wine, never beer. Nicotine is another matter --there was no nicotinic recreation 2000 years ago, which is why I chose this era to get myself born into. Be careful with this Jesus. Check his hands for stigmata. If present, tell Him to go home; there are millions of deserving people wondering where the Hell he is.
ReplyDeleteHaha, where the hell is He, Geo? Fine points, my friend. I'll check with stigmata. Sounds pretty gross, though. Lemme find my personal protective equipment, and his dark alley...Wish me luck.
DeleteLove ya.
Well, Jesus loves you.
ReplyDeleteI hope so, Mitchell. One time, I gave him a ride home when he was drunk, afterall.
DeleteCheeses Crust, Robyn! Are you going to make us wait a whole week to find out what happens next?
ReplyDeleteYeah, probably, Jono.
DeleteGood to see ya, though.
Blessings. =)
Drunk Jesus. Not an image one wants in one's head. Especially one with such crappy timing.
ReplyDeleteI know. It was rather insensitive of Jesus to barge in like that. But I can't fault him for not driving drunk.
DeleteThanks, Alex!
Fabulous blog
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteCan't let drunk jesus take the wheel. LOL That's pretty funny. At least he didn't try to drive.
ReplyDeleteYes, he wasn't going to even try. Thanks, Mary.
DeleteEven Jesus knows that drinking and driving is not safe. :) Now we need more news about Justin!
ReplyDeleteJesus has some common sense - hallelujah.
DeleteI'll post this week.
Thank you, Martha.
I tried to comment while I was in PA, but it wouldn't work right. Now catching up.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds quite promising....keep us at the edge of our seat