Dear Sillies,
I've a special guest for you today! Yes, fresh off of the campaign trail, the one and only legend in his one and only ego-infested mind, Presidential candidate for 2020 who lost by a shocking landslide, Kanye West. Welcome, Kanye!
Note: All that's highlighted are ACTUAL Kanye quotes. *oops, I mean, except the last one, but he would've said that if he met me.
Kanye breaks through the stage curtains shouting: "Welp! West 2024!"
Robyn: Look at you, Mr. West. 60,000 votes for President! Whew! That's less than .04 PERCENT of the 160 MILLION total votes. Even worse than Trump's historic loss. Robyn emits a giggle-snort. You did concede, I give ya that. What do you have to say for yourself?
Kanye: I am Shakespeare in the flesh.
Robyn: I see. And like Shakespeare, you've done some writing. You wrote your name on your home-state of Wyoming's ballot. You failed to get on that ballot and on the ballots of 38 states! Go you! Robyn jumps in giddy cheerleader fashion, forming an X in the air and landing, well, on her tuchas. Unaffected, she asks, What were you thinking?
Kanye: Here's something that's contrary to popular belief. I actually don't like thinking.
Robyn's eyebrows shoot up, as she rises to her feet. Say it isn't so!
Kanye: I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all.
Robyn: You're blowing my mind, sir. Blowing my mind!
Kanye smiles, complimented. Every time I say something that's extremely truthful out loud, it literally breaks the Internet.
Robyn looks at the camera, I can't. I just can't. She turns to Kanye and steps within inches of him. Literally, dumbf*k, literally nothing and nobody can break the Internet. Get the *bleep* off my stage, narcissistic idiotic moronic *bleepin* *bleep!*
Kanye raises his arms in a victory "v", shouts You f*kn crazy *bleep* midget. I don't *bleepin* need this *bleep!* A sympathetic, ever indebted Beyonce scurries to his side and escorts him out of the studio.
Robyn: I'm very sorry it came to this folks. Welp! That's a wrap. Take good care of yourselves and stay away from the *bleepin* *bleeps!*
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/kanye-west-quotes
It's hard to believe he lost. I'm devastated.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Debra. Thoughts and prayers to you.
DeleteSmiles.
We don't *bleepin* need this *bleep!* either. But at least one loser can admit it and be escorted out.
ReplyDeleteI know, EC. I forget which comic, but someone did a hilarious bit on how even Kanye can admit defeat. Even Trump's homestate celebrated his loss, as did Paris and London.
DeleteDon't laugh - he'll run again.
ReplyDeleteAnd he has four years to work on getting his paperwork in to all the states, plus work on writing his name - should he fail again to get this done, Alex.
Delete60,000 votes in the wrong state could have done some real damage. I think we need to put to an end celebrities in elected offices.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me if all of the Kardashians liked him, that could've put him over-the-top, Jeff. Haha.
DeleteWe need to make the process entirely different and entirely not capitalistic. You shouldn't have to be a millionaire or billionaire to run for office.
Believe it or not, I actually know somebody who voted for this turkey.
ReplyDeleteWe've already had one egotistical semi-literate shit-for-brains as president. Kanye would feel too much like a rerun.
I expect Trump will accuse him of being born in Kenya. His name is almost the same word.
I believe it, Infidel. I'd have been tempted to vote for him, as a joke, especially since CA was going Biden-Harris anyway. But why give him more satisfaction? Ha. Yeah, Trump would accuse him of being from Kenya, would call him Kenya, and I can't imagine the other madness between them.
DeleteTo some extent, Kanye in conceding is the bigger person. That says something? anything? Maybe 2024....
ReplyDeleteHa - as always, you are bleepin' hilarious
Yes, absolutely, Joanne. Kanye is a bigger person than Trump. And the Kardashian dynasty is bigger than Trump Towers. I still loathe him, but he'd make a better Prez. Oy vey. May it never come to that.
DeleteJust what we need. Another mentally unsound celebrity that will leave this country directionless.
ReplyDeleteI know, Bathwater. Thank goodness, hopefully, almost assuredly, we won't have that!
DeleteI get it. Thinking is overrated. Why think when you could not think instead!
ReplyDeleteBuawaaahaha! I think you're right, Annalisa.
DeleteThanks for the clarity. Smiles.
And thanks for making me chuckle.
Funny
ReplyDeleteThanks, RR.
DeleteHow did he actually get 16,000 votes. I wonder if it was only 16. I believe Intervention time is needed.
ReplyDeleteYeah, how did he get more than one vote? I doubt the whole family voted for him. That would've put him over-the-top. Smiles.
DeleteIt's past time for high-powered intervention, true.
Thanks, Birgit.
Brain cells must have boarded another train with that one.
ReplyDeleteAssuming he has brain cells, Pat.
DeleteSheesh.
His mistake was not running as VP with Hillary Clinton in '16. Yes, I voted for her, not that pile of shit who's been stinking up DC these past 4 years. At least Kanye apologized to Taylor Swift, which is beyond Trump's dwindling list of human functions. Has he ever apologized to anybody?
ReplyDeleteIf he tries to say "sorry," Geo, it likely comes out as "soreally you're a *bleepin* *bleep." He should not qualify as a human being.
DeleteOkay, first I'm reading about this!
ReplyDeleteReally? Good for you. He quieted down about it when he only managed to get paperwork in for 12 states. He actually did worse than a mostly unknown Libertarian.
Delete