Act now! You can still enter my Anti-Valentine's Day Chocolate Giveaway. I will accept offerings through the weekend. Winners will be announced on V-Day. In the meantime, here's a collection of YOUR wonderfully hilarious, appropriately hateful, kind of strange, somewhat poetic, outright silly, shockingly edgy, a little bit sweet, and hysterically naughty submissions. I've linked the names to their blogs, as relevant.
To all who entered, thank you for making me laugh so much! To all who read this, I hope you enjoy these as much as I have.
In random order, and with minor tweaking (sorry, I didn't change any words. I just combined lines and added punctuation.) to consolidate space, here they are:
Ruth Roses are my least favorite flower. If you really gave a shit, you would never get them for me.
With one call they can save the day, while lying on the couch in their underwear.
Whether a dozen or more
and Valentine candy is swell be it chocolates or lemon sours
But, you dumped me for Leon. So, I'll just piss on your flowers.
Beth Zimmerman Roses are red and so are my eyes when I go near them it's so unwise.
The thorns they stab me and that's no fun.
But worse ... much worse
When my nose starts to run!