Reason #98: I'm to sexy for my shirt to sexy
...loving man that is old school all the way!!! i love the oldes and christan music.. love to meet just one nice woman to go and do things with that has some of my intests Gulp. Would I need a colonoscope to get your intests? Cuz that’s just not to sexy.
Reason #99: I'am a self made Man, with a carrer job. Make’am yourself a spellcheck, dear. Who loves to snowboard,wakeboard. I'am altheletic. I have been married once and learned from that marriage, how to make my next one last forever. I'am seeking a Woman who shares similiar likes and hobbies. I fell that I have so much to offer and all I truely want in life is to be loved unconditionally by by mate. Hint: Don’t say “by by” when seeking unconditional love.
Reason #100 wants to meet me: I am looking for my soul mate to go live off grid, By Gridley? Well, that’s not too far. Sure. build our earth ship. But there’s no water around here. I’m getting confused. Grow and raise all outr own food. Like on Gilligan’s Island? Cool. To be as low carbon as posable. I see, posable. More like Gumby! And yet ha ve a good peaceful life. I’m not that posable. Sorry.
Reason #101 wants to meet me, and lots more women, too: Sex is good and should be often. Looking for Women to be my Girl Friend; We live Polly and are look to add to our relationship Hm, Polly? Pollyanna? You live with her? That sweet little girl who can’t walk but spreads sunshine throughout the town? Nah, I can’t do Polly. I’m too cynical. Oh, silly me. You mention sex twelve times here. Polly, polly. I get it! You let your parrot watch you have sex. Eww. No thanks.
I had a phone conversation with Reason #102 last week. I transcribed a portion of his teachings while he preached, in order to blog his valuable insights. He said: “I am a seeker, a knower…Laughter is not something made of a catalyst. A baby doesn’t learn to laugh. It’s a natural, magical thing. That’s why everyone loves babies. We are born of peace. We make things complicated as we grow older. We become the outcome of our own environment...Everyone has a God given right to be at peace, even mass murderers...We choose it or not. It’s that simple…Life is good.”
Hoping to decrease the odds he’d ask me out, and naturally fiercely annoyed, I jostled him with pointless debate. (E.g., “It’s not that simple. Life isn’t good for much of the world right now. And babies cry. A lot.”) It mattered not. He still asked, “Would you like to meet up some time?” I responded, “Um, well, no, I just, well, don’t think so. Thank you.”
I hung up the phone, relieved to resume a peacefully celibate lifestyle with no parrot in sight.