Horse-Santa, Happy Hanukah, Sundays In My City

UnknownMami did it again. She does it every week: hosts a wonderfully scenic worldwide party.

So welcome back to Chico, CA, where Santa can be spotted...

                                                                                     looking a little tipsy.

                                               Santa, watch out for that tr---   OOPS!

 I suppose it's one way to dodge a ticket for driving under the influence: dress as a Horse-Santa (?) or a Christmas Tree Horse-Santa or something like that. Regardless, Merry Christmas from our town mascot!
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And, finally...

Happy Hanukah! Last night was the first night, and we've 7 more.

The word, "Hanukah/Hannukah/Chanukah...", Hebrew for dedication, can be spelled over a dozen different ways. So don't worry about misspelling it. Just partake in the food and fun.

In a world where intolerance and oppression thrive, we are wholeheartedly grateful for our freedom to worship -or not worship- as we choose. The Jewish people pray and work towards "tikkun olam," a healed world, one at peace. On Hanukah, as during many other Jewish holidays, we rededicate ourselves to this cause. We also rededicate ourselves to eating as many deep fried potato pancakes (latkes) as possible. Of course, I've even devoured chocolate chip latkes, but that's an acquired taste.


Thanks for visiting. Stay warm, safe, and enjoy the season.

Interview with Pippa Middleton: IWSG

Alex J. Cavanaugh  founded the blogosphere's one-and-only Insecure Writer's Support Group. We're posting monthly, exposing our vulnerabilities and/or offering support to one another. Please check out Alex’s blog to visit others’ posts. It’s a great group.  Join us, if you haven't already! All that's required is an insecurity or two hundred.

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Robyn: Ladies and gents, today we welcome Miss Pippa Middleton to our studio!

Pippa walks on stage in a tight-fitting low-cut royal blue silk dress that accentuates her perfect figure. Behind her, a broad shouldered bodyguard carries a gold pillow under one arm and uses the other to block Pippa’s derriere from any untoward squeezing or photo opportunities. When she reaches her imitation English Vintage chair ala IKEA, he places the pillow on it, pats it down, and signals that it’s okay for her to sit. Pippa shyly graces the chair with a smile.

A clump of mucous running from her nose, Robyn whisks her hand across her face before offering a handshake. Pippa attempts to hold her smile, as the two shake hands.

Robyn: Thanks for visiting today, Pippa. Oh, um, you prefer to be called Philippa so people will take you seriously, is that right?

Pippa: Yes, that’s correct.

Robyn: I see. Well, Pips, I invited you here during the Insecure Writer's Support Group because you recently published your first book. And I did too. It’s exciting, isn’t it?

Pippa: Yes, it’s quite celebratory.

Robyn: Yeah, I’m thrilled. It’s like I’ve crossed a threshold. It’s better than when I lost my virginity.

Pippa turns red, mortified.

Robyn: Don’t worry, Pips, we’re all friends here. Say, I hear your book about party planning has some nice pictures - pause - and 416 pages of idiotic advice like “put guests’ coats in the bedroom.” And you got a $600,000 advance for that *bleep*. And Penguin Books isn’t happy with you and -

The bodyguard approaches Robyn slowly and in a threatening manner.

Robyn: No, no, no, I’m going somewhere with this. Work with me. He steps back, cautiously, giving Robyn a chance to redeem herself. I want to say you should be proud. Pippa grins. It’s a book, a publication! And who cares about figures. Well, -- Robyn knocks her glasses off her face and onto the floor by her feet, as if by accident. Say, do you mind picking those up for me? Robyn lounges back, expecting to enjoy the view, but the bodyguard whispers to Pippa, “She’s a perve. Let’s go!” Pips stands up and grabs the pillow. The cameraman attempts to zoom in on Pippa’s posterior, but the guard blocks her entire backside as the two exit the studio.

Robyn: A disappointed cameraman turns back to Robyn. In the end, it’s not about figures, right folks? I’m trying to convince myself of this. Meanwhile, I’m checking sales numbers every two seconds, rather than basking in the glory of having published a nice little book. But how do I stop this obsession with figures, and just feel proud?

 

Starring YOU, Top 20 Blog Comments of 2012!

As 2012 comes to a close, Life by Chocolate proudly  presents a series of the year's highlights.  Today, we're appreciating YOUR funniest comments.  

Sorry if you don't see yours here. It was really hard to narrow them down. You've been making me laugh throughout the year, and I thank all of you for that.

For now, in no particular order, and taken out of context, here are your top 20 most hilarious comments:
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1) Melissa Bradley said In the spirit of giving, I'll share one of mine with you: "I love all women. Just not fat ones, ones who are too tall or too short, if they talk too much, have hairy pits, legs or 'staches, if there old, there breasts are too small or sag, and if they don't like sex on the first date." I wonder why he's still single?

2) Joanne said...Mouth opened in shock, Furrowed brow, Empathetic nod, Chastity belt on back order.

3) YeamieWaffles "tyypo," really made me laugh, a typo about a typo is way too hilarious to me. Women time is the dreaded enemy in my eyes, it always comes out when you least expect it!

4) Teri Vonn said Robyn,“Men” time is not a “tyypo”, it is an example of the creative writing course from Wossamotta U. 

5) Anthony J. Langford said “ribald” and “trenchant” would be enough for me to think, Wanker!

6) Al Penwasser said That's a tough look to pull off: pubic hair on your head.

7) farawayeyes said Your comments block has given me more information than I ever wanted about lingerie and men and Beckman. YUCK! That guy, by the bras, I think I dated him once. Creepy! 

8) Pearl said And they are all named Amanda because the name tag only COMES in "Amanda".  :-)You're welcome.

9) Stephen Hayes said My wife chose celibacy for me. Isn't she thoughtful?

10) Empty Nest Insider said Mr. Salsa's sausage pizza would probably be delivered in 30 seconds or less.

11) John McElveen said Taking cold shower.

12) Rosalind Adam said Gagh! Firecracker with the tongue! Please someone, say something to get that image out of my head!!!

13) Alex J. Cavanaugh said Licking and chewing... That's it, I' m going home now!

14) Gorilla Bananas said Pizza with no string cheese? If Delivery Boy starts talking about his career in the adult entertainment industry...listen with interest.

15) Ms. A said Are you planning a trilogy... 50 Styles Of Pizza? 

16) Baby Sister said that's sad. Their poor kids don't stand a chance at being even slightly competent!!

17) Powdered Toast Man said I thought it [BDSM] stood for Body Doubles for Steve Mcqueen.

18) Kal said FINALLY someone is telling that Christmas bitch what I have been afraid to say. No longer will I be seduced by her shiny bells and naive beliefs about human nature. I feel so forced to like her just because she is pretty. I have seen her insides and Christmas is pretty ugly when you blow out the candles and turn on the lights.

19) Chuck said I think I saw this movie...starred Richard Gere right...Gigolo or something?? Sorry, continue with your story.

20) David Macaulay said sheesh Robyn - when you are in a restaurant with a toddler throwing knives at the other diners and then throwing a tantrum or running into the kitchens to terrorize the chef, you totally want a table for one. Give me a table for one right now. Yeah know what you mean re the hols, though, can be tough. It's the flatulent relatives that concern me the most.