You make it SO MUCH FUN to HATE Valentine's Day that I ALMOST don't hate it. But I do still hate it. I also love you and your hate.
Before the big announcement, please enjoy some lovely hate from the lovely Cheryl:
Now, our 4th place winner who - as Pickleope said - made a real Valentine, Shoshanah Lee Marohn! This one's so beautiful, I wanted to re-post. Plus, she's a wonderfully fun artist and author.
Coming in 3rd, the remarkable Mr. Pat Hatt with:
Roses are red.
Chocolate is brown
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down
Tomorrow they'll be cheaper, so calm the *uc* down
And now for second place...drum roll, Jeopardy music, and a wink from Martha Stewart (Oh never mind, she was winking at Trump. Yikes.). Stagehand Mccaulay Culkin shouts out, "There was no second place, you dumb f*k!" Oh yeah. Robyn flips him the bird. I forgot, friends. There was a tie for first place, and I couldn't decide. Both entries were equally weird and hateful and accurate.
The TWO WINNERS of Life by Chocolate's Annual VDay Hate Contest are:
Valentine's Day: the only time it's socially acceptable to offer up genitalia as a present.
AND
Al Penwasser's entry #3:
"Don't buy me a thing," she tells the poor sap.
Pal, get her some bling because...IT'S A TRAP!
CONGRATULATIONS, GUYS!! You'll each receive a generous, sweet package of chocolate goodness. We'll do dealings in private. Wink.
Much gratitude to all who participated and enjoyed this one - Life by Chocolate's best ever V-Day Hate Fest!
In spite of it all, may you experience a sweet Val...err, Chocolate Day!
Much love.
How generous of you to allow two winners, Robyn. Some girls would have made those two reprobates fight it out in a play-off. It's about time someone gave Penwasser a good ass-kicking!
ReplyDeleteKicking?
DeleteOooohhhhh....kinky.
How'd you know what I have planned for the private dealings, GB? Undress to impress, Al. Wink.
DeleteThat's my kind of Valentine's Day sentiment!
ReplyDeleteWorthy winners!
ReplyDeleteNow, go have some chocolate.
Robyn...You are so very sweet to post my ramblings.
ReplyDeleteAs for the winners...CONGRATS to all of them. You all are so creative and funny.
Hope all of you have a great Valentine's Day.
I loved your ramblings and Shoshanah's entry.
DeleteCa;; me a sucker for creative hate.
Thank you, Cheryl.
Thanks for reminding me that today is Valentin's day... maybe there is time to salvage the day ;)
ReplyDeleteRead and re-read these last couple of posts and you'll float through it to tomorrow's chocolate sales.
DeleteA great contest and congrats to everyone!
ReplyDeleteGreat wins indeed. Enjoy your umm private dealings.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the winners!
ReplyDeleteWell, today's the day,
ReplyDeletethere is no doubt,
to go buy some flowers.
Unless they're all out.
THANKS!
Now that you won
DeletePretend to have fun
No Chia pet -
real flowers; one dozen too.
That doesn't rhyme.
DeleteOh well.
You get it, Al.
That's what she said.
Haha. Those are great. I do love me some Cheryl, too. Happy VD! Think of it as the day before chocolate goes on half priced sales.
ReplyDeleteGo, Pat. These were all funny, but his really made me lol. Happy V-day!
ReplyDeleteMe too, Tamara. Thanks for dropping by.
DeleteHope you had a Happy VDay. Smiles.
Good choices, even though my choice didn't win.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the winners! Love Cheryl's cartoons. How sweet.
ReplyDeleteThe winners deserve the chocolate and so do you Robyn. It was fun reading all of these and love the cartoons
ReplyDeleteThank you, Birgit. I'll indulge, because you said I deserve to. Wink.
DeleteCongrats to all the winners! Honestly all of the entries were great!
ReplyDeleteIt was a really great contest, JoJo - better than ever. I love my silly haters.
DeleteHA! Those were so funny! Sorry I missed it.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you saw all the entries, Pat. Aren't they awesome?
DeleteToday I can buy half price candy and keep it all for myself! Thanks for hosting alt-Valentine's Day Robin!
ReplyDeleteAlways a pleasure, Jono.
DeleteCongrats to the wieners! As last year's recipient of the chocolate package, I can tell you that Robyn will do right by you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Aw, thank you, Janie.
DeleteI need to figure out some sort of trap for Al. Maybe I'll put a whoopee cushion or gag gift in his package. Shh, don't tell.
Love.
I loved Al's. My husband never falls for that trap though.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to all of the winners! Everyone did a great job, and Al knocked it out of the ballpark again! Was he the 2014 champion? I think you took 2015 off. I really miss you guys! This was fun, Robyn!
ReplyDeleteJulie
I've missed you too, Julie. So good to see you again.
DeleteBe well.
I like Valentine's Day because the kids have a blast with it. This year though, we were all sick! Happy Belated Valentine's Day. And PS if I didn't have kids, I'd hate the lovedaytoo. :)
ReplyDeleteKids are the best reason to celebrate. I got to to hear V-Day greetings from my sweet nephew, so that was heartwarming.
DeleteYou have clever, creative, and funny followers, Robyn! Congratulations to the winners! :)
ReplyDeleteYay! Fourth place! I'd like to thank the academy, and Glob, and my agent. (I have such a great agent.) (Not really.)
ReplyDeleteI have a big reveal: I'm glad I didn't win the grand prize, because, although I love you, I don't like chocolate!
Thank you so much for linking to my author page. You're the best.
You made that beautiful art, and you didn't even want chocolate? That makes me like you even more Shoshanah. Thank you!
DeleteBelieve your brain indeed haha
ReplyDeleteLove the genitalia one.
Great contest Robyn.
Love sucks!!
Haha. Thank you, Anthony, and thank goodness there is always chocolate. And friends. xo
DeleteWell, love only sucks if you're lucky.
DeleteAnd a male.
Delete